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Plot Event: Dawn of Magic

+23
dordur
Ariella Negri
Nero
Supergoon
Lagi
Lance Knighthunter
Ilirran Iskam
Jarrah
Fu Yunling
Lexiara
Axel Rover
Farah
Ayero
Tai Black
Raizel
Azix Niraj
Altair Loros
Diligence
Kára Fox
Zafar
Vardreth
Diego Namez
Duquin
27 posters

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31Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 18/07/14, 03:07 pm

Duquin

Duquin
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A-Tier

Approved, your huang has been rewarded! Post in 1 B-tier Xp Reward and one D-tier Xp Reward to claim the rest of your prize and be sure to include a link to this approval post when you do!
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32Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 18/07/14, 08:25 pm

Ilirran Iskam

Ilirran Iskam
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C-Tier

Character Name: Ilirran Iskam
Link to Plot Thread: https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t1713-the-leopard-man-enters-solo-event#7317
Summary of Plot: Ilirran makes his way to the capitol after spending the last few years as a sword for hire. He learns of the Strongest Man Under The Sun tournament and plans to compete in it. He hopes to find strong opponents to partake in the dance of death with.
Key Plot Points: Heliohapt, Strongest Man Under The Sun

33Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 18/07/14, 08:27 pm

Duquin

Duquin
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A-Tier

Approved, your huang has been rewarded! Post in 1 B-tier Xp Reward and one D-tier Xp Reward to claim the rest of your prize and be sure to include a link to this approval post when you do!
 Bwahaha

34Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 19/07/14, 07:14 pm

Lance Knighthunter

Lance Knighthunter
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β-Tier

Character Name: Lance Knighthunter
Link to Plot Thread: https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t1727-new-beginnings
Summary of Plot: A few years after the death of the children he looked after and taught, Lance returns to the ally way they lived in to relive some memories... although the memories he got were greater than he expected. Once he arrived there he met Griffon, His old apprentice who used to live with the kids and him. Griffon gave Lance a staff and went off to Reim while Lance stayed in Heliohapt because he had overheard about a slave trade that was going to happen.
Key Plot Points: Griffon Nightlock, Heliohapt, An ally way, Lance got his staff



Last edited by Lance Knighthunter on 19/07/14, 09:47 pm; edited 2 times in total

35Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 19/07/14, 07:59 pm

Duquin

Duquin
A-Tier
A-Tier

Please add another post detailing why you are going to Reim. The point of the event post is to explain where your character is going and more importantly, why they are going there.

36Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 19/07/14, 09:03 pm

Lagi

Lagi
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Ω-Tier

Character Name: Lagi El Nagi
Link to Plot Thread: https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t1729-the-secrets-of-the-rukh-compass-the-king-of-legends-solo-plot#7396
Summary of Plot: After assuming command of the Nagi Orai and becoming a Black King, Lagi took it upon himself to find out if he could master the mysteries of the Rukh Compass. It’s reckoned to their fates, destiny, or their utmost desires, but the compass kept changing in different directions charges at any applied time.  Besides looking for El Drago, Lagi stumbled upon the sanctuary of the king of legends. Lagi must once again prove himself to the self proclaimed greatest of all dominance users, who even considered El Drago as "Troublesome"
Key Plot Points: Reim, Alkian (The King of Legends) El Drago, Blessing of legends



Last edited by Lagi El Nagi on 19/07/14, 11:25 pm; edited 1 time in total

37Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 19/07/14, 09:47 pm

Lance Knighthunter

Lance Knighthunter
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β-Tier

I edited my app a little saying why he stayed in Heliohapt as well as put it inside my post

38Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 19/07/14, 11:26 pm

Lagi

Lagi
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

edited

39Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 20/07/14, 03:26 pm

Duquin

Duquin
A-Tier
A-Tier

Lance Knighthunter wrote:Character Name: Lance Knighthunter
Link to Plot Thread: https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t1727-new-beginnings
Summary of Plot: A few years after the death of the children he looked after and taught, Lance returns to the ally way they lived in to relive some memories... although the memories he got were greater than he expected. Once he arrived there he met Griffon, His old apprentice who used to live with the kids and him. Griffon gave Lance a staff and went off to Reim while Lance stayed in Heliohapt because he had overheard about a slave trade that was going to happen.
Key Plot Points: Griffon Nightlock, Heliohapt, An ally way, Lance got his staff

Lagi El Nagi wrote:Character Name: Lagi El Nagi
Link to Plot Thread: https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t1729-the-secrets-of-the-rukh-compass-the-king-of-legends-solo-plot#7396
Summary of Plot: After assuming command of the Nagi Orai and becoming a Black King, Lagi took it upon himself to find out if he could master the mysteries of the Rukh Compass. It’s reckoned to their fates, destiny, or their utmost desires, but the compass kept changing in different directions charges at any applied time.  Besides looking for El Drago, Lagi stumbled upon the sanctuary of the king of legends. Lagi must once again prove himself to the self proclaimed greatest of all dominance users, who even considered El Drago as "Troublesome"
Key Plot Points: Reim, Alkian (The King of Legends) El Drago, Blessing of legends

Approved, your huang has been rewarded! Post in 1 B-tier Xp Reward and one D-tier Xp Reward to claim the rest of your prize and be sure to include a link to this approval post when you do!
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40Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 01/08/14, 01:29 pm

Supergoon

Supergoon
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Character Name: Goon av den Frie
Link to Plot Thread: https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t1822-let-s-get-started-solo-cd-plot
Summary of Plot: Goon and the troupe just got into Heliohapt and was resting for the night. Nox was acting strange, and gave Goon the just of a job they were gonna complete. Goon agreed to help, then Nox told him about the rumors of something big happening within the city, he wasn't entirely too sure what it was, but he knew it wasn't good. He asked Goon if he'd help him and Goon agreed, after that they began to rest to prepare for the days ahead.
Key Plot Points: Nox(Clown, Goon's friend), Traveling circus troupe(Goon's company), slaves, and Heliohapt.

41Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 01/08/14, 03:26 pm

Duquin

Duquin
A-Tier
A-Tier

Approved, your huang has been rewarded! Post in 1 B-tier Xp Reward and one D-tier Xp Reward to claim the rest of your prize and be sure to include a link to this approval post when you do!
 Bwahaha

P.S. Your post had a lot of strange punctuation going on. I recommend looking up grammar rules behind commas because the main issue was comma misuse.

42Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 02/08/14, 11:15 pm

Nero

Nero
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Character Name: Adam Kahndaq Yuan-Zu
Link to Plot Thread: https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t1829-the-prince-s-wandering-plot#8035
Summary of Plot: Adam is given a huge sum of money and sent away by the emperor to purchase as many slaves as possible to create a brigade of Fanalis Warriors. However, Adam's goal is different; he plans to free the slaves and use a select few whom he can bond with as personal bodyguards. He intends to use his royal status to help him squeeze through cracks in the system, provided he is able to.
Key Plot Points: Slave Auction



Last edited by Adam on 03/08/14, 12:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

43Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 02/08/14, 11:38 pm

Duquin

Duquin
A-Tier
A-Tier

Please include what the diplomatic mission you were sent there to do was. Give like an extra paragraph detailing why your father sent you there and what your responsibilities/obligations as prince are in Heliohapt.

It could be anything from establishing trade relations to trying to form an alliance or set up some other deal such as cross training of the military or economic issues. This will give your presence there a more solid back ground and help you give your future threads an underlying goal to pursue other than the slave auction which is only a 1 day event IC wise.
 Very Happy 

44Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 03/08/14, 12:16 pm

Nero

Nero
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β-Tier

Edited.

45Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 03/08/14, 01:38 pm

Duquin

Duquin
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A-Tier

I wish you had kept the diplomatic related mission because gathering Fanalis Slaves for the army makes little sense when your bastard brother has already enslaved the Fanalis Corps, but...

Approved, your huang has been rewarded! Post in 1 B-tier Xp Reward and one D-tier Xp Reward to claim the rest of your prize and be sure to include a link to this approval post when you do!
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46Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 07/08/14, 03:56 pm

Ariella Negri

Ariella Negri
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Ω-Tier

Character Name: Ariella Negri
Link to Plot Thread: Quest for knowledge
Summary of Plot: Ariella wants to become the best magician on the planet. Her brother gave her a list of magicians she could try to study under to accomplish this goal. Her first stop had been Balbadd, which was a bust so she decided to see if the magician's in Reim had more to teach her.
Key Plot Points: Reim, Figuro, ship

47Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 07/08/14, 05:40 pm

Diego Namez

Diego Namez
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A-Tier

Approved, your huang has been rewarded! Post in 1 B-tier Xp Reward and one D-tier Xp Reward to claim the rest of your prize and be sure to include a link to this approval post when you do!

Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 P2x0OhZ

48Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 08/09/14, 06:47 pm

dordur

dordur
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Character Name: Thordur
Link to Plot Thread: https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t2026-thordur-stranded-in-reim#9133
Summary of Plot: Thordur, recently having developed extreme motion sickness when travelling on a boat had to travel all the way to reim just to get his so called "medicine" from the so called "medicine vendor"  Only to learn that there was no medicine vendor for his major problem of motionsick ness, But soon realised there was more to the world then he had imagined and since he couldn't get a job as an apprentice beast tamer he decided to train himself so soon he can get a pet(dominance perks)
Key Plot Points: Sea, Reim, Apocathaery, docks, Coliseum, beast tamers house.



Last edited by dordur on 08/09/14, 08:42 pm; edited 1 time in total

49Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 08/09/14, 07:24 pm

Ariella Negri

Ariella Negri
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Ω-Tier

Approved, your huang has been rewarded! Post in 1 B-tier Xp Reward and one D-tier Xp Reward to claim the rest of your prize and be sure to include a link to this approval post when you do!

50Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 08/09/14, 07:27 pm

Duquin

Duquin
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A-Tier

Approval overridden, huang removed.

This post does nothing to express your characters personal plot. All it shows is a poorly written/planned excuse for your character to be in Reim.

51Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 08/09/14, 09:16 pm

Vardreth

Vardreth
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Ω-Tier

Approved, your Huang has been rewarded! Post in 1 B-tier Xp Reward and one D-tier Xp Reward to claim the rest of your prize and be sure to include a link to this approval post when you do!

52Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 15/09/14, 09:19 pm

Myra

Myra
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C-Tier

Character Name: Myra
Link to Plot Thread: Zafar & Me
Summary of Plot: Okay, so Myra dreams of Freedom and Family. Myra plans on going a difficult and unusual path to archive her dreams, that include traveling around and even sticking with the Zou Empire. She knows that she is quite unexperienced, because in her life she hasn't seen more than a very small part of the Zou Empire, so visiting a new Empire/Country is a big step for her. All the knowledge she gains during her "travel" will help her somehow.
Key Plot Points: Zafar, Yunling, Zou, Reim, Fanalis, PC's people (creating connections, building up friendships ect)

53Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 15/09/14, 09:22 pm

Ariella Negri

Ariella Negri
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Ω-Tier

Approved, your Huang has been rewarded! Post in 1 B-tier Xp Reward and one D-tier Xp Reward to claim the rest of your prize and be sure to include a link to this approval post when you do!

54Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 16/09/14, 12:48 am

Trever Winnett

Trever Winnett
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Character Name: Trever Winnett
Link to Plot Thread: https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t2085-why-am-i-here-plot-solo#9482
Summary of Plot: Trever meet a man that made him think of why he was in Riem. Trever did some soul searching on his own to find the answer. He came to the conclusion of becoming stronger, his family, and meeting others
Key Plot Points: Riem, Random Man

55Plot Event: Dawn of Magic - Page 2 Empty Re: Plot Event: Dawn of Magic 16/09/14, 02:03 am

Vardreth

Vardreth
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There are a couple of things I want to bring up, first. Your thread didn't describe much of where your character was, nor did it describe who that random man was, or how he came upon you or why he was even curious as to why you were there in the first place.

It's an obvious Deus Ex Machina. You should work to avoid these in the future. RP definitely exists to have fun, but there are a few core things you must keep in mind.

The suspension of disbelief that a reader has is limited. This means that if you write things that look really out of place (characters/plot moving suddenly and with no explanation), then it looks worse to the reader.

Your character's actions give life to his personality, but your character's interaction with his environment and interactions with other individuals gives life to his story. Don't forget to add some background to your character! You may have been able to imagine it just fine, but let me tell you the scene it painted in my mind: Your character was standing in an open grassland with nothing in sight except a strange man who approached you and randomly asked you why you were there. You walked away from him thinking. Maybe sitting under a lone tree. Then walked back to him and told him your answer, and he just walks on his way, nodding at the information.

It probably looked different when you were imagining it and writing it. Please take this as a learning experience to improve ^_^.


That being said, I'm applying tentative approval to this. What I said above is just my personal bit of advice to give to you as a writer.

Approved. Huang has been rewarded.

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