Adam [Grade me!]

• Positions of Power: Given his power-hungry personality, Adam enjoys the ability to rule over subjects who are lower than or otherwise inferior to his grand presence. His dominating and manipulating traits definitely serve to benefit him in this aspect.
  
• Total Control: Adam wishes not for a democracy but a dictatorship, an absolute monarchy in which everyone bows to his every whim. He follows a simple philosophy: Kneel at his feet, or be crushed by the boot.
  
• Literature: Adam is motivated by tales of dictatorships and tomes containing knowledge on leadership and the art of persuasion. However, he does enjoy the art of reading in general; a nice story about a princess and a prince would do just as well as an epic about a power-hungry young dictator. Oh wait...
  
• Magic and Sorcery: An aspect of himself which has satisfied him the most is the magic which he was taught as a child. Mystic forces intrigue him, as they have the power to bend man's will and drive him mad. Despite this, these forces also have the power to embody man with the greatest gifts of all: knowledge and strength.
  
• Appearance: Adam is obsessed with his appearance. His vanity is extreme; he often stares at himself in a mirror for hours on end, admiring his face and beautiful gold-blonde hair. He does this in private only; he is too much of a gentleman in public to act in such a conceited way.
  

• Gullible People: Although they are often a medium for his heinous acts, Adam dislikes gullible people. They are weak-minded and able to be pushed around by those who are manipulative or who like taking advantage. It is humorous to think that people such as this could have the power to potentially gain positions of respect.
  
• Handsome Men: The narcissist inside Adam gives him a strong dislike of any other men as handsome as he is. He wishes to be the best in the world at certain aspects, and his appearance is definitely one of them. His vanity and conceit makes him become extremely envious of men who are more attractive than himself.
  
• Women: Adam does not manipulate women. He dislikes them due to his respect of them (A little ironic.) In fact, they are the only people who can control him. Despite his dislike of them in general, he does yearn for love in some ways. However, he has yet to find a woman who likes a vain and evil yet extremely handsome man.
  

• Death before rise to power: Adam's aspiration in life is to become a ruthless monarch, but if he is killed or otherwise dispatched before this happens, he will have lived a failed life. He has already abandoned everything he can call his, so the only thing that he has to work for is this leadership and the respect and fear of others.
  
• Alluring women: Adam fears that a woman with high sexual appeal will allure him into ending his quest to conquer the world; because of this, he keeps well away from overly attractive females.
  

• Dictator of powerful nation: Adam's one and only true goal in life, beyond wealth and women, is power. He wishes to one day rule the world, and anyone who comes between him and this deep desire will be put to the chopping block. His obsessive passion with absolute power comes from his earlier years, when he studied leadership methods and strategies from tomes in his father's library. Dictatorship and Absolutism enthralled him, inspiring him to one day rule over the whole world. But first, he would start with his own kingdom, the Zou empire...  
  

Adam wrote:

Name: Adam Kahndaq Yuan Zu (Black Adam)
Tier: C-Tier
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Age + Birthdate: 20, October 1
Nationality: Zou
Race: Human
Specialization: Intelligence, Black/Strength Magic

Personality: Adam is, for lack of a better word, domineering. He is a hyper-educated intellectual with a special focus on leadership and persuasion, which leads into dictatorship and monarchy. His sharpest aspect, as he has often stated, is his wit, and he can manipulate most others into following him by wordplay alone. In addition to his sharp tongue and manipulative tendencies, he has a cold and unforgiving nature. This persona alone, when combined with his swift-speaking tongue and way with words, gives him an incredibly intimidating demeanor.  He is also extremely proud of his appearance. Narcissistic to the core, he takes pleasure in staring into mirrors for hours on end, gazing at his golden locks and perfectly sculpted face. In addition, Adam has an incredible sense of greed and a desire to conquer and control everything he deems worth controlling. (The preceding sentence seems extremely awkward.) He dreams of ruling an empire with an iron fist.(This Sentence is a fragment)

Behavior-wise, Adam is extremely well-mannered(2 Separate words.) . Raised in a family with strong political ties, he had been taught how to act as a gentleman during his childhood, and still does today.(The preceding sentence seems extremely awkward.) His formal mannerisms and poise when dressed up and at an event outside of the Zou kingdom give him the appearance of an ordinary man familiar to the etiquette of fine society.

Adam's parents were both very intelligent, scholarly folks. They were adept in the arts of magic, and encouraged their now estranged son to practice the arcane. Young Adam found an affinity for magic, and although his knowledge in it is limited, he utilizes it as his basic combat weapon. He practices Black Magic (which, in addition to his previous wrongdoings, earned him the alias "Black Adam"), or the art of utilizing strength and force to combat his foes. This magic is, in Adam's opinion, extremely versatile, and, combined with his staff, can be used to win most battles.

Adam never cries, nor expresses weak emotions. He has low morals and is a condescending person; to gain his respect is more valuable than diamonds. This said, however, he does have a sense of empathy for those whom he is friends with. In fact, the only people whom he does not "use" are his true friends, few and far between- his vanity and manipulative tendencies typically repel most level-headed (One word.) people.

Despite the condescending,(Comma not needed) arrogant douche which he portrays, Adam has a deep inner sadness- because of this, he does not prey upon children and adolescents. This is because his childhood was miserable, and he does not wish to ruin that of some other innocent youth's.

Likes:

• Positions of Power: Given his power-hungry personality, Adam enjoys the ability to rule over subjects who are lower than or otherwise inferior to his grand presence. His dominating and manipulating traits definitely serve to benefit him in this aspect.
  
• Total Control: Adam wishes not for a democracy but a dictatorship, an absolute monarchy in which everyone bows to his every whim. He follows a simple philosophy: Kneel at his feet, or be crushed by the boot.
  
• Literature: Adam is motivated(Passive Voice) by tales of dictatorships and tomes containing knowledge on leadership and the art of persuasion. However, he does enjoy the art of reading in general; a nice story about a princess and a prince would do just as well as an epic about a power-hungry young dictator. Oh wait...
  
• Magic and Sorcery: An aspect of his own self (Instead of his own self, himself could be put.) which has satisfied him the most is the magic which he was taught as a child. Mystic forces intrigue him, as they have the power to bend man's will and drive him mad. Despite this, these forces also have the power to embody man with the greatest gifts of all;(Misuse of Semicolon. This is not an independent clause.) knowledge and strength.
  
• Appearance: Adam is obsessed with his appearance. His vanity is extreme; he often stares at himself in a mirror for hours on end, admiring his face and beautiful gold-blonde hair. He does this in private only; he is too much of a gentleman in public to act in such a conceited way.
  

Dislikes:

• Gullible People: Although they are often a medium for his heinous acts, Adam dislikes gullible people. They are weak-minded and able to be pushed around (Passive Voice) by those who are manipulative or who like taking advantage. It is humorous to think that people such as this could have the power to potentially gain positions of respect.
  
• Handsome Men: The narcissist inside Adam gives him a strong dislike of any other men as handsome as he is. He wishes to be the best in the world at certain aspects, and his appearance is definitely one of them. His vanity and conceit makes him become extremely envious of men who are more attractive than himself.
  
• Women: Adam does not manipulate women. He dislikes them due to his respect of them (A little ironic.) In fact, they are the only people who can control him. Despite his dislike of them in general, he does yearn for love in some ways. However, he has yet to find a woman who likes a vain and evil yet extremely handsome man.
  

Phobias:

• Death before rise to power: Adam's aspiration in life is to become a ruthless monarch, but if he is killed or otherwise dispatched before this happens,(Passive voice.) he will have lived a failed life. He has already abandoned everything he can call his, so the only thing which(Use that rather then which or add a comma.) he has to work for is this leadership and the respect and fear of others.
  
• Alluring women: Adam fears that a woman with high sexual appeal will allure him into ending his quest to conquer the world; because of this, he keeps well away from overly attractive females.
  

Aspirations:

• Dictator of powerful nation: Adam's one and only true goal in life, beyond wealth and women, is power. He wishes to one-(add dash)day rule the world, and anyone who comes between him and this deep desire will be put to the chopping block. His obsessive passion with absolute power comes from his earlier years, when he studied leadership methods and strategies from tomes in his father's library. Dictatorship and Absolutism enthralled him, inspiring him to one-(add dash)day rule over the whole world. But first, he would start with his own kingdom, the Zou empire... (No need for "...") 
  

Face-Claim: Toma, Amnesia
Weight: 166lbs
Hair Color: Blonde/Golden
Eye Color: Light Brown
Height: 6'5
Rukh Alignment: Black
Special Traits:  N/A
Appearance: Adam is a tall and muscular young man with a beautifully defined, almost feminine face. In his casual hours, he wears a tight-fitting V-neck shirt with orange and black stripes to expose his built abs and pecs(Pecks) , with an expensive jacket or something of the sort to cover over it should he get cold. Around his neck he dons a hand-crafted necklace, made of the feather of a sparrow and some string, a personal artifact which he has kept since he was but a wee lad of 13. He wears baggy pants and a belt with diamond studs, or skinny and tight-fitting black denim pants on his legs. When in battle, he often places his legs at the most 2 or 3 feet from eachother (Separate word.) in a moderately wide stance,(End the sentence here and begin a new one.) a fist guarding his face and a fist guarding his abdomen and crotch.  

When angered or distressed, Adam tends to tense up his muscles. When sad, he slouches back and looks down when he walks. If jubilant, he walks with a sprightly pace, and his vocal tone is noticeably warmer (if there could be such a thing for an arrogant prick such as himself.) Having studied psychological aspects of the human mind, he is a master at reading the body language of others, often times knowing how they are feeling just by looking at their posture.

History:

Adam was born into the royal Zou family under his father, the emperor, Gao Yuan Zu. He was the only son of the ruthless ruler, who, despite his character, raised him with kindness and nurturing. Adam grew up in the imperial palace, and spent most of his days there, rarely venturing outside the boundaries of his estate for fear of the corruption and evils of society. He was schooled(Passive Voice) at the palace, and he learned basic strength magic from the court's mage. This was all a fairly ordinary childhood; besides his fear of the society around him he lived a relatively normal life for a child of royalty. What was slightly abnormal was his love of books.

Since his discovery of the great library hall in his father's palace, Adam spent much of his time reading, face buried in ancient tomes and scrolls about castes, monarchies, and leadership in general, amongst other things. He was able to instruct himself in the art of reading by the age of three (and he surprised his parents by reciting, out loud, the headlines on the daily paper). Succeeding this, Adam became quite the bookworm- by age eleven he had a thorough understanding of human psychology and leadership (which he would need, due to him being heir to the Zou throne). Most importantly out of all this, the first thing he picked up in leadership was the art of the dictator, and supreme control over a country. This would be something he remembered for the rest of his life.

At thirteen, young Adam decided he had enough education and knowledge to survive outside the palace, so he decided to go out a little bit and explore the world. After much persuading and pleading, emperor Gao Yuan allowed him off of the property of the palace, setting a strict curfew time. Adam raced off, blonde hair bobbing, eager to have some fun for the first time in his life.(Fragment.) However, what he would go through was nowhere near fun in the slightest.

He saw a few other kids, who were about the same age as he. One of them, Kyoujin, who wore spectacles and had dark brown hair, seemed keen on befriending the prince, but the other,(Semicolon rather than comma.) Amara (A rather pretty, charming girl with beautiful hair and a family with very close political ties) wanted nothing to do with him. She had learned from her parents (who had very close ties to emperor Gao Yuan) that Adam had rarely ever left the library of the palace, preferring to dwell upon  books(Extra space between upon and books.)  and boring studies than get out and enjoy the world. She found this to be revolting, for some reason, and flung insults at Adam, before leaving. Adam remembered Amara's face, but he didn't learn her name until much, much later. Kyoujin looked at Adam sadly and left with his friend. Adam thought nothing of this little incident and went on his merry way, hoping his next encounters with people would go smoother. They didn't. He was teased and bullied relentlessly by other kids, older, younger, and the same age as he.(Passive Voice. ) His clothes were too "fancy", and he was not street smart at all- he was often stuck in a daze, not familiar with how the outside world worked. By the time the sun set (One word.) and his curfew was nearing he decided he would try this again the next day and hopefully squeeze in some time to study street behavior- until he was cornered by two thugs.

The thugs commanded Adam to hand over all of his valuables- he had lots of Huangs on him, several trinkets, and a golden necklace. The prince lied blatantly, stating he had none and that he was a beggar- but the thugs were smart enough to see through him. They stripped him bare, stole his clothes and everything on him (save for his skivvies), and beat him senseless. Adam lay cold, naked, and afraid on the dirt road, too scared to move. He crawled back to the palace, took his father's punishment for missing curfew, and slunk into the library, where he would dwell for the next five years, again studying and studying, until he was a veritable book of knowledge. It was over this period of time that Adam developed an immense obsession over dictatorship and total rule, which corrupted his mind and led him to believe he was destined to rule over not only the Zou empire but the rest of the world, as well. It was also during this time that Adam's soul, given plenty of time to mull over that one wretched day, turned dark and evil. The Rukh ,(add comma) which were attracted to him ,(add comma) turned from white to black, and his once innocent and intelligent mind became that of a mad genius'. He swore that when he came to power he would raise an extremely successful armada, eliminate all other nations, and rule the world. He doggedly awaited the day this would happen.

He never left the palace's grounds until he turned 18. The day after the assault on him, the court mage (who taught him strength magic) crafted a necklace made from a sparrow's feather and some thread, and sprinkled with an odd powder. It was told to grant him unlimited success and knowledge, and he thus treasured it, keeping it all throughout the years. Back to the "present"- Adam was 18, a strapping young man, with attractive blonde hair and a perfume which smelt of roses. It was at this time when he met up with a pretty-looking girl who claimed to have strong political ties with his father. Adam recognized her face and her style of speaking, and introduced himself to her. It was then that he realized she was the girl who had vilified him so many years before, and, delighted by the opportunity to gain a second chance, eagerly accepted the apology she gave him. She finally gave him her name (Amara) and he and his consort slowly became friends. Adam, who had studied social norms and behavior during his 5-year lock in, was able to assimilate modern culture. As he and Amara became better friends, he left home more often, almost completely abandoning the vast library in which he grew up. Over the course of a few months, he proposed to his newfound friend, whose relationship with him had built up greatly. They were engaged and almost married, until Amara and her parents (The three of them were skilled soldiers) were forcefully drafted into a battle against foreign fighters by emperor Gao Yuan, Adam's father. Adam, being the prince, despite his desires to go fight with her, was left(Passive voice.)  in the palace. After a long couple of months without his beloved books, he returned to his studies.

About a week after this, Adam learned that the Zou forces were completely destroyed. Amara and her parents were killed by the enemy. After first hearing this, Adam fell into a deep state of depression.(passive voice.) But soon, after dwelling upon his sadness for some time, he found that the depression turned slowly into anger, a bitter, boiling rage- he was furious at the world for being so unfair, furious at the soldiers of the enemy nation for skewering his fiancee, but most of all, furious at his father, the emperor, for  causing (Extra space between for and causing.) this misery in the first place by sending them into a battle where failure was nearly imminent. He vowed his revenge; the loss of his lover erased any trust and bonds he had shared between himself and the emperor and he swore he would slay his own father and rise to the throne, before destroying every other nation in the world. In order to do this, he started going out more often and making more "allies", mere playthings whom he could manipulate to fight at his will- and now, in the present, preparations are being made for the big day- the day emperor Gao's head would rest on a spike.

Role-Play Sample:

Adam stretched his arms out and relaxed on his comfortable mattress. He was rather bored at this moment; nothing had happened at all in the past few hours, and the young prince desired some sort of mental stimulation. He didn't want to go out- it was far too hot on this day, and his clothing was too warm; but he also, strangely enough, did not want to study any volumes of ancient leadership techniques. He could not find a reason why he wished not to carry out one of his favorite pasttimes- (Spell check pastimes.) he would rather just lay motionless, staring at the ceiling.

Adam was laying in his bed chamber (One word.) , a fine, large room with masterfully crafted oriental furniture and a titanic mattress on the floor, smack in the middle of the fixture. Adam lay on the mattress without his shirt (Again, it was hot today), attempting to cool himself with a paper fan. What would he do, what would he do....

His mental question was answered (passive voice.) when he noticed a commotion outside his window. Two men were arguing over the price of a batch of fruit. Thoroughly interested, Adam put on something to cover his upper body and went outside of his room to get a closer look.