Khemed Khaleed's Abilities

Name: Stolper Faust
Tier: D-Tier
Cost: 10 Magoi|5 Magoi Sustained
Weapon Type: Fist
Class: Supplementary
Range: Melee(Touch)
Cool-Down: 2 Posts/Sustained+1
Description: A quick back-arm punch aimed at the skull that travels at a speed of 10m/s and causes D-Tier Disorientation each time it lands on the opponent. It has a reach of about 1.5m, and can target one opponent on a scale of about 0.25m of surface area, due to the impact coming primarily from the knuckles.

Name: Zurückschlagen
Tier: D-Tier
Cost: 10 Magoi|5 Sustain
Weapon Type: Fist
Class: Defensive
Range: Melee(Touch)
Cool-Down: 2 Posts/Sustained+1
Description: Covering his bracers in magoi, he uses them in order to knock away attacks by brutally smashing into them. Can work on 1 C-Tier attacks, or 2 D-Tier attacks. Has an effective reach of 0.75m, and and covers an area equal to 0.5m total.

Name: Stich
Tier: D-Tier
Cost: 10 Magoi|5 sustain
Weapon Type: Fist
Class: Offensive
Range: Melee
Duration: Instantaneous
Cool-Down: 2 Posts/Sustained+1
Description: A quick front-hand jab that deals D-tier damage upon impact, and moves at a speed of 10m/s, at a range of about 0.5m, while affecting a targeted area of 0.25m

Name: Zerkleinerungsstufe
Tier: D-Tier
Cost: 10 Magoi|5 Sustain
Weapon Type: Fist
Class: Supplementary
Range: 1.5m
Duration: Instantaneous
Cool-Down: 2 Posts/Sustained+1
Description: Using a high-knee followed by a stomp directed at the foot, the opponent is D-Tier immobilized, at a range of about 2m, with a powerful slide from the back leg in order to move forwards. It can target an area of about 0.25m, and moves at a speed of about 10m/s.

Name: Drehkopf-Tritt
Tier: C-Tier
Cost: 20 Magoi|10 Sustain
Weapon Type: Foot
Class: Supplementary
Range: Melee
Duration: 2 Turns
Cool-Down: 3 Posts/Sustained+2
Description: A hard, fast, spinning kick aimed at the head, that uses the balls of the feet instead of the sheer impact of the heel, in order to stun, and covers the foot at a speed of 15m/s, and deals C-tier disorientation, to a single opponent.

Okay, a couple things I want to mention here. It seems you somehow found an old template to abilities that had 'duration' included in the ability list. We don't use that template anymore, so I removed that.

Overall, abilities shouldn't have too many descriptions. Everything you put in an ability must be performed as written, otherwise you aren't actually using the ability. This means that extra things in it are generally frowned upon. I edited out the things like 'the range is x' or 'it effects x amount of the target'. Any strike would only effect the direct area, and the direct area around, the location struck. Also, if somebody uses Strength Magic on you to pile on some stone onto your fist, making your fist bigger or longer, suddenly your abilities are no longer stating the truth in the size of area they effect or the range they can hit.

Range in the template itself should only say something other than 'close' if you are throwing something or firing an arrow/bolt from a bow/crossbow. Since you aren't actually detaching your body parts and throwing them, I removed those ranges for you.

Zerkleinerungsstufe: I changed this technique into what I think you wanted it to actually say.

If you are fine with them, these four below are approved to be added to your vault (otherwise, edit your abilities to show what you would like them to be. Please use the below abilities as the base before you edit):

Code:

[b]Name:[/b] Stolper Faust
[b]Tier:[/b] D-Tier
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Magoi|5 Magoi Sustained
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Fist
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 Posts/Sustained+1
[b]Description:[/b] A quick back-arm punch aimed at the skull that travels at a speed of 10m/s and causes D-Tier Disorientation.

[b]Name:[/b] Stich
[b]Tier:[/b] D-Tier
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Magoi|5 sustain
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Fist
[b]Class:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 Posts/Sustained+1
[b]Description:[/b] A quick front-hand jab that deals D-tier damage upon impact, and moves at a speed of 10m/s.

[b]Name:[/b] Zerkleinerungsstufe
[b]Tier:[/b] D-Tier
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Magoi|5 Sustain
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Body
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 Posts/Sustained+1
[b]Description:[/b] The user must use a high-knee to the opponent before using this technique. He is then able to stomp onto the foot of the opponent at 10m/s and cause D-Tier immobilization.

[b]Name:[/b] Drehkopf-Tritt
[b]Tier:[/b] C-Tier
[b]Cost:[/b] 20 Magoi|10 Sustain
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Foot
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Melee
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 3 Posts/Sustained+2
[b]Description:[/b] Using the balls of the feet instead of the sheer impact of the heel, the user strikes with a hard, fast, spinning kick aimed at the head at 15 m/s, causing disorientation to a single opponent for 2 posts.

As the following is a Magoi Manipulation ability, you may go ahead and train it once you hit B-Tier. I changed the cool-down to reflect the 2x requirement of Magoi Manipulation. It is approved for training at that time:

Code:

[b]Name:[/b] Zurückschlagen
[b]Tier:[/b] D-Tier
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Magoi|5 Sustain
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Fist (Magoi Manipulation)
[b]Class:[/b] Defensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 4 Posts/Sustained+1
[b]Description:[/b] Covering his bracers in magoi, he uses them in order to knock away attacks by brutally smashing into them. Can work on 1 C-Tier attacks, or 2 D-Tier attacks.

Thanks for that, Garret. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, and I appreciate the lookthrough, but the "magoi manip" ability was listed for flavor, which was the issue I had. It was meant to be a simple parrying attack. Also, I used the ability templates in order to fix up everything. This should be perfectly ready for current approval, right?

Name: Stolper Faust
Tier: D-Tier
Cost: 10 Magoi|5 Magoi Sustained
Weapon Type: Fist
Class: Supplementary
Range: Close
Cool-Down: 2 Posts/Sustained+1
Description: A quick back-arm punch aimed at the skull that travels at a speed of 10m/s and causes D-Tier Disorientation.

Name: Stich
Tier: D-Tier
Cost: 10 Magoi|5 sustain
Weapon Type: Fist
Class: Offensive
Range: Close
Cool-Down: 2 Posts/Sustained+1
Description: A quick front-hand jab that deals D-tier damage upon impact, and moves at a speed of 10m/s.

Name: Zerkleinerungsstufe
Tier: D-Tier
Cost: 10 Magoi|5 Sustain
Weapon Type: Body
Class: Supplementary
Range: Close
Cool-Down: 2 Posts/Sustained+1
Description: The user must use a high-knee to the opponent before using this technique. He is then able to stomp onto the foot of the opponent at 10m/s and cause D-Tier immobilization.

Name: Drehkopf-Tritt
Tier: C-Tier
Cost: 20 Magoi|10 Sustain
Weapon Type: Foot
Class: Supplementary
Range: Melee
Cool-Down: 3 Posts/Sustained+2
Description: Using the balls of the feet instead of the sheer impact of the heel, the user strikes with a hard, fast, spinning kick aimed at the head at 15 m/s, causing disorientation to a single opponent for 2 posts.

Name: Zurückschlagen
Tier: D-Tier
Cost: 10 Magoi|5 Sustain
Weapon Type: Fist
Class: Defensive
Range: Close
Cool-Down: 2 Posts/Sustained+1
Description: He uses his bracers in order to physically knock an attack away from him. This can work on 1 C-Tier attack or 2 D-tier attacks if sustained.

Approved, add to your vault.

Code:

[b]Name:[/b] Stolper Faust
[b]Tier:[/b] D-Tier
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Magoi|5 Magoi Sustained
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Fist
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 Posts/Sustained+1
[b]Description:[/b] A quick back-arm punch aimed at the skull that travels at a speed of 10m/s and causes D-Tier Disorientation.

[b]Name:[/b] Stich
[b]Tier:[/b] D-Tier
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Magoi|5 sustain
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Fist
[b]Class:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 Posts/Sustained+1
[b]Description:[/b] A quick front-hand jab that deals D-tier damage upon impact, and moves at a speed of 10m/s.

[b]Name:[/b] Zerkleinerungsstufe
[b]Tier:[/b] D-Tier
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Magoi|5 Sustain
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Body
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 Posts/Sustained+1
[b]Description:[/b] The user must use a high-knee to the opponent before using this technique. He is then able to stomp onto the foot of the opponent at 10m/s and cause D-Tier immobilization.

[b]Name:[/b] Drehkopf-Tritt
[b]Tier:[/b] C-Tier
[b]Cost:[/b] 20 Magoi|10 Sustain
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Foot
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Melee
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 3 Posts/Sustained+2
[b]Description:[/b] Using the balls of the feet instead of the sheer impact of the heel, the user strikes with a hard, fast, spinning kick aimed at the head at 15 m/s, causing disorientation to a single opponent for 2 posts.

[b]Name:[/b] Zurückschlagen
[b]Tier:[/b] D-Tier
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Magoi|5 Sustain
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Fist
[b]Class:[/b] Defensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 Posts/Sustained+1
[b]Description:[/b] He uses his bracers in order to physically knock an attack away from him. This can work on 1 C-Tier attack or 2 D-tier attacks if sustained.