Changing of tides [Merrze plot/ Invite only]

Merrze was sitting alone in the woods contemplating with herself. She had sent Ku to go play with the orphans since it was such a bright and sunny day. The light radiated Merrze as she was laying down hearing the constant chirping of animals and some commotion of traders who were going by. On such a beautiful day like this one would normally be doing something creative or relaxing but Merrze felt anything but relaxed while sitting under the sun. She was too busy thinking about other things let alone how nice it was outside.

After the battle at Remano had ended and talking with some friends she had decided that she wanted to learn to control her anger. She had been controlling it very well but whenever she encountered something that would agitate her it only got worse the next time if she held it in. She wanted to learn a much better way to control her anger but she had no idea how to do it. She needed to find away to fix it with out making it where it could possibly get much worse the next time she would have to try and hold it in.

The fanalis sat up and leaned herself against a nearby tree and sighed. Fixing her anger wasn't just a matter of her wanting to improve herself. She had to curb her anger issues so she wouldn't hurt people needlessly and one day be consumed by it all. If she did that then she would never be able to accomplish her goal. Her goal was nothing simple and something that might never happen, which was to found her own country and try to make a good place where almost anyone could live. Even if it was impossible her will to do it only became stronger as of lately and she would do almost anything so she could accomplish it.
Even if it took her years she would learn to do it, she would have to do it.

She stood up and pumped herself up, she was going to find away and she thought of a person that might be able to help her which was Octavius. He understood fanalis tempers very well and the fiery redhead trusted him enough to go to him for advice. He was definitely the best person that came to her mind about this matter so she would head of to find where he was.

She started to leave the forest and was passing on her way through the nearby village. It was going to be a long walk back to Remano where she would most likely find the red headed general. The young lady was glad that she had this idea but she would still think about things on her own as she would head on her way there.

The village she was walking through was rather poor and there were various people there who seemed hungry. Merrze wanting to help out pull out her bag which contained her lunch and distributed what food she had to the people who seemed very pleased at the meager amount of food. She did it because she understood the feeling of not knowing when you'd have your next meal. Looking at this made her start to remember her past when she had to live on the streets.

"Thank you ma'm you're a saint for giving us this food. We hope for you to live a prosperous life."

"There's no need to thank me, I was just doing hat I felt like, plus I'm not the greatest or nicest of people."

Merrze saw that there were more people up ahead who needed food so she got out what little she had left. The people looked very close to death, bags under their eyes, so thin you could see their ribs. Some people where even losing hair. The sight filled her up with anger. She didn't understand why the rich wouldn't share what they had with the poor. She was once again reminded of why she needed to one day found her own country.

She was going to do her best to create the place where people aren't always hungry. A place where there could be a surplus of food and the people could be happy. The fanalis knew a perfect place was impossible but she was going to try her damned hardest to do so. She would put her life on the line for such a place. She felt as if she was boiling up with frustration at the situation but she tried calming herself down.

The redhead walked the dirt streets littered with poor and homeless people passing out food until she had no more left. She didn't have much food on her as of the moment but she had a friend who would help out here who she would send out to help eventually. She didn't need to get off task and would continue her walk back to Remano. She didn't have to walk much longer so she was glad about that.

Merrze continued to walk forward leaving the village behind. Once she left the village she was noticing that it was getting notably hotter. She felt as if the air was getting dryer also but at this point she had to continue nonetheless of hot it was outside. She trekked through the heat hoping to get to the city soon.

The fiery young girl walked without stopping and was sweating profusely because of how hot it was. She wiped her fore head and took a drink of her watter. It felt very refreshing and she poured some of it on her skin to cool her off. She couldn't tell how much farther how she would have to walk till she saw Remano but she was sure that it was close bt now. Based on how long she thought she had been walking she guessed it was only about a 20 minute walk from his point on. SHe only had to walk a little bit longer and she would be back to the city.

She was sure that she was going to pass out from the heat but then she saw it. The warrior had seen her destination of Remano. She was glad that she was finally there. In order to get there quicker she started to jog and started picking up speed where she would soon be in a full sprint. She got much closer to the city and she had finally arrived. She walked into the city and sat down to relax for awhile.

The bustling noise of the people in the city calmed her down, she was citing in a public area eating some bread that sh had bought. It felt as if she hadn't eaten anything in days. But she had to go to Octavius so she could ask him for the advice on how to deal with her fiery temper.

She found the building where Octavius would be and decided to see if anyone was there, SHe hoped that Octavius would be there so she knocked and gave a hello.

"Hello it's Merrze, I came her to see Octavius, if he's not here can someone tell him that I stopped by."

He was supposed be here because she was told every once and awhile he visits this place to see children, this was of course the orphanage. SHe knew he would come here she just hoped that he was here.

Octavius swung the small boy up into the air one final time, listening to him squeal before setting the child back on the ground. He had wanted to get in a few minutes with the children before he went off on his adventure and he was glad he had come. When he heard someone asking for him at the front door, he came out of the large living area with a girl wrapped around his leg, the toddler giggling as Octavius pretended to struggle to walk from the weight of her on his leg.

His eyes widened when he saw Merrze standing there, shocked that she had come here, of all places, to look for him. Certainly she could have just stopped at the barracks, it would have made more sense. Perhaps someone had directed her out here. Untangling the girl from his leg, he scooted her back to the living area before approaching Merrze with a smile.

“Ah, the vicious warrior. Come to adopt a child?”

Merrze was happy when she saw Octavius came to the door. She gave him a polite smile and waved to the kids who had met her before. She walked inside so she could talk to him better. SHe hoped that she wasn't going to be bothering him here. She didn't think he would mind but she couldn't read minds so she wouldn't be able to tell if it was a bother unless she examined his body language.

"No no Octavius I already have a child and one is already a handful. But no today I have came to ask you for some advice, I've decided to overcome my anger issues but I have no idea how to do it exactly. You seem to know a lot about the issue so I thought yo could give me some helpful insight."

The young fanalis believed that he could help her even if it was in some simple manner. She didn't usually go to people for advice but this matter was an exception. SHe had to get this fixed before she wold hurt someone in the future.

Octavius listened to the concerns of the young woman, crossing his arms and rubbing the stubble on his cheeks. Glancing back to the children in the living area, he led Merrze back outside. He preferred to keep his combat life separate from his time with the children. He came here to enjoy their joyful innocence, to see their eyes light up and hear their giggles as he tossed them into the air. It was a totally different side than what he preferred to show his soldiers. While they still received his fatherly habits, he was not nearly so soft with them. They didn’t need coddled, they were old enough to need the harsher truths of life. While he was not upset with Merrze for seeking him out here, he was uncomfortable having her intrude on his time with the orphans.

Closing the door behind them, he led her over to a crudely built bench and waved for her to sit before taking a seat himself. He could admire her wanting to control her temper, it was a problem for many of their race. His voice was thoughtful as he looked out at the barren field that would soon be planted near the orphanage.

“Your temper? Everyone has a temper and everyone has to learn to control it, one way or the other. My best advice would be to stop being selfish. You said you have a child? Focus on them. When you lose your temper, it is because you have lost sight of anything but yourself. Learn to focus on others, on the reason you are fighting to begin with. If you are into senseless violence, this obviously won’t work. But I think that while you enjoy the thrill of the fight, you fight with reason, not just to hurt people, but to protect people. So think of what and who you are trying to protect and stop thinking only of your own anger and hurt.”

His words were blunt but not unkind. Most people never thought of their temper as one of the most self-centered emotions, but it truly was. It was allowing your anger at injustices, real or perceived, to reach such a point that you were blind to anything but your own feelings. When you forced yourself to think of others, the temper simmered and you were able to channel the underlying anger into more productive means. As a General, he had his soldiers to worry about, and his country. He made it a point to set an example for those that served under him, keeping his temper on a tight leash, if he shouted, it was to make a point, not something born of his temper. If he struck them, it was a physical reminder to pay attention, not his temper reacting to their ignorance.

He gave Merrze a probing look to see how she would take his suggestion, wanting to know if she would react in shock, anger, hurt, tears or disbelief. Fanalis tended to be an emotional bunch, the primary emotion focused on being their anger. It was part of what made them stronger and faster than normal humans, but every gift came with a down side, their pitfall was their tempers.

Merrze had no idea how to react to his words at first about his words. His words felt like lead slamming into her head, she had never thought of herself as selfish when she was angry. Her anger was generally her inability to handle things or because she couldn't stand something, but his words must be true. He wouldn't lie and give her false information and she knew that. She tried to keep a calm face as she thought about it but she had no idea how she looked nor did she really care. She took in his words though.

After he was completely done speaking she was glad that she had come to him for advice. She did fight to protect and she did enjoy the fighting. She had to tray and focus on what she was fighting for and not lose sight of herself and her values. The young warrior's stomach felt empty from what he said but she gained resolution from his words. She was going to control her anger to the best of her ability like he suggested. But one of the things he suggested she wasn't sure if she could do. To forget about her past pain, she had been alone and in terrible conditions for most of her life.

The fanalis' past is what brought her to where she was today and set her goals. She could no dwell on the past and do what she was doing just because she thought it was the right thing possibly. She was't sure if she could come to terms with her past completely, maybe if she talked out what fully happened to her she might feel a bit better. She had to improve herself or she could never be a leader, if she tried with her issues it could lead to her and the people she leads downfall.

"I don't know if this will help but I think it might. I'm going to tell you a bit about my past. I live the first few years of my life in the slums with my mother but I was told my father died, I honestly don't know if it's true or not, my mom might have hid it from me until I would've been older but she died while I was still young and I had to live and fend for myself for the longest of time. Eventually I got a friend who had helped me get food and we both survived together."

As the redhead was speaking some tears where rolling down her face. She didn't notice them at first but the words started to pour out of her mouth like a river. She had no idea why but every word felt like relief since she was fully talking about her past instead of giving small amounts of info. Her head was hanging down as she continued to speak.

"Soon things went downhill though, my friend and I where kidnaped by slave traders, my friend was sold off quickly, they told me it was because she was pretty, but because of my strength i was bond so tightly and it instilled fear into my head, I wanted to be free more than anything. eventually I was bought by a general who I thought would harm me but he raised me like a daughter. He taught me how to use my strength and taught me writing, crafting, forging and strategy. I learned to be more than a thief, he became the father I never had but the pains of my past still affected me. I eventually left to become stronger and found my goal of wanting to form a country. I know it seems impossible but that goal will never leave my mind and I am adamant to do it. It may seem childish and I know this but I will do it even if it's impossible."

When she lifted up her head her face was bright read as if she had been sunburned, she had swollen eyes and a tear covered face. She felt so good to take about it but she was filled with confidence, talking about it all only reinforced her aspiration. The tear covered girl, she would strive toward it more but instead would do it without getting angry and trying to do her best to help people. She wasn't going to form her actions around that but she would strive for it while doing what she thought was right and protection what was close to her.

Octavius heard her words and mulled them over in his head. Her story was not a new one to him. Most of his soldiers had come from similar backgrounds and had that same anger in their hearts. Deciding it would be better to treat her as he did them, his voice was gruff but not cruel, never that.

“Get over it, Merrze. You had it easy compared to some, you had a man that treated you like a daughter. You weren’t beat within an inch of your life, you weren’t forced to fight against your will. You were not thrown into a kill-or-be-killed situation by him. Slavery is horrible, I know, I was one. But, as a slave, you did not have a horrible life. Come to terms with it and move on. It is in the past, it can’t hurt you now, so why let it endanger you? You are the only one giving that power, no one else.”

He sighed, realizing his words probably sounded needlessly vicious, but they were not intended that way. She had truly had a history that paled to some he had seen. He crouched in front of her, wiping the tears from her face with a sigh.

“When Sly first came to me, he was in a wretched state. He was born into slavery and by the age of six was forced to work as a child prostitute. Once he was old enough and strong enough to fight, he was thrown into the killing scene. He was forced to fight for his life every night. One night, his owner was drunk and did not secure Sly well enough. Sly killed him and every guard on his way out of the building. They had come to Remano for some competition. Sly survived by becoming a thief and fighting in the Coliseum before he tried to steal from me. I brought him into the Fanalis Corp after that and had to teach him that not everyone was out to use and abuse him. If he can overcome his temper to be the joking, chipper man you see today, you will have no problems overcoming your issues. When you let your past rule you, you will lose every time. Stop feeding the demons in your past; if you starve them, they wither and die.”

Octavius had let his voice soften as he told Sly’s tale. He knew the man would not appreciate Octavius speaking of his life’s adventures, but he would understand.

Her words were filled with emotion but no longer of sadness but of confidence and understanding. She didn't think she could get over her fear but she would get over the troubles of her life. She was going to move on without looking back but accepting her past at the same time. His words felt harsh but they didn't hurt her feelings, in fact the only drove the idea into her head. She knew she didn't have it as bad as others did but that means she didn't have a bad past. She wouldn't complain or whine about it nonetheless. She wasn't going to let things build up and harm her like her past did.

The fanalis listened to his story about Sly, she could tell how kind he really was. He didn't show it very well but he was a caring man and she knew that nonetheless. She was glad that she had came to him for help, he had helped her more than he could possibly imagine. The redhead felt a mixture of happiness, relief and confidence because of him and she would remember his help forever. She had so many important people in her life now and she wasn't going to let rage destroy that.

The young girl hugged Octavius with a smile then went back to her sitting position. The young girl looked normal again except for her slightly swollen eyes. This was the best way she could show her happiness to him. She had no other way to repay him except m=by giving him words of gratitude.

"Thank you Octavius, your words have been ingrained into my mind and I will trust you. I probably can't get rid of my fear at least not soon. But I will not let anger rule me and my demons have any more power over me. I'm going to control what ever happens to me. I will decided what happens to me to from now, I'm going to do what I believe is right while doing the best I can to accomplish my goals and help others. If that seems stupid I'm sorry but my mind is set as I stated earlier, but once again you've helped me more than you can probably imagine."

Octavius smiled and ruffled her hair before pushing back to his feet.

“Good. Determination will take you a long way. Never think a dream is foolish. Did I indicate it was foolish in any way? No. You have said it was foolish twice, but I never once indicated it was, so don’t put words like that out there. The rukh are always listening and if they think you don’t have faith in yourself, maybe they won’t help you. Silly girl. Now, run along. And next time you need me, please stop at the barracks. This is my quiet place, where I come to escape.”

He gave her a hearty pat on the shoulder before heading back into the house, the children cheering and immediately moving to tackle him. He chuckled heartily , swinging several of them up as they hung from his massive arms like a bunch of monkeys.

Merrze was going to believe in her dream, that least bit of information was important too. She wouldn't think her dream was silly ever again. As he headed off she gave him a wave and would be on her way.

"Okay Octavius, I might be gone for awhile and I've been here a couple of times so tell the kids that auntie Merrze says hi."

The fanalis headed out the door and would head on her way home now. The sun seemed brighter and it feeled like it was better outside instead of scorching heat. She would be heading to IMu soon so it was good that she took this opportunity before she would be gone. She looked up into the sky smiling and whispered to herself while going towards where she lived.

"I'm doing it mom, I'm living a happy live like you wanted."

[Exit]