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Page's Guide To Surviving

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1Page's Guide To Surviving Empty Page's Guide To Surviving 11/02/18, 12:23 am

Serevi

Serevi
D-Tier
D-Tier

D Tier Abilities:

C Tier Ability:



Last edited by Page on 13/02/18, 10:56 pm; edited 3 times in total

2Page's Guide To Surviving Empty Re: Page's Guide To Surviving 11/02/18, 06:46 pm

Jingyi Hou

Jingyi Hou
A-Tier
A-Tier

Hello! These abilities are looking good, but there's just some edits you need to do. I also have some advice. So, let's get started!

Scan the Horizon: this is looking good so far, there's just some tweaking required for the ability. I like the idea of it, by the way. As a hunter/ranger, you would definitely need something like this.

  • For the description, she would take notice of the positioning of allies, enemies, objects, terrain, and more. But, at D-tier, she can only track the movement of one target for one post.
  • Currently the scaling is fine, but you can also do unique scaling such as for every 10 stamina invested you track an additional target or for every 10 stamina invested you can track the current target for an additional post.


Distant Shot: like Scan the Horizon, there's just some edits you need to make.

  • Whenever you have an offensive ability, you need to state the tier of damage that it deals.
  • As a rule of thumb, fluff is a good thing to have in an ability. It doesn't directly do anything but it can effect the battle in a minor way that you can then use. An example would be changing a vertical slash that swaps from a low stance to a high one or vice versa (to have a feint to work with) or affecting the air pressure with a sword swing and then using that to spread the AoE of a fire. Seeing the ideas of your abilities, I'm sure you can come up with something.


Detect the Unnatural: this ability is very similar to Scan the Horizon. I believe that traps could fall beneath objects, so this makes the ability a tad bit useless. Perhaps you could replace it with an ability where you make a trap, an ability that changes your position, or a defensive ability.

Debilitating Shot: this is a very useful ability to have, but I need you to make some tweaks before it can be approved.

  • Can you also add an explanation on how the arrow disables the joint? I recommend something along the lines of it inflaming the joint temporarily, making it too painful to use the limb for one post.


Meteor Arrow: I like the idea of this ability because I have a sneaking suspicion that you're going to be forcing some movement with this thing.

  • You put the ability as D-tier instead of C-tier.
  • About the damage itself, I'm not sure how you can turn this into an aoe with a single regular arrow being fired. While the arrows are massive, there needs to be some sort of force behind the arrow turning into an AoE attack.
  • You don't have to do this, but I think a hit scaling would be more useful to you. Each time you invest an additional 10 stamina, you get one more C-tier arrow to hit your enemies with. And remember, hits double so you can stack this number. (1 x 2 = 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2). However, remember the size of these arrows.
  • Here's another idea to play with: split the arrow into two D-tier arrows that you fire for C-tier damage. That means a single hit-scale would give you four arrows you're raining down on your enemy for a combined total of B-tier damage.
  • One last suggestion on how you can go with this ability: bomb arrows. This will help you achieve that AoE effect. Basically, you have two D-tier arrows with small bombs attached to them. They have a blast radius of 1-3m and each projectile scale gives you double the amount of bomb arrows.
  • I also want to mention your range: at C-tier, you can have a range of around 30-35m, BUT if you add bomb arrows, that'll drop. I recommend a range of 25m with a blast AoE radius of 3m
  • Final note, if you do add the bomb arrow then add a requirement for it: you need to attach the bombs (which are small and rather crude) to the arrow before firing.


Also, there are some additional things I have to mention.

  • You bow and arrows are massive. That means that on every requirement, you need to state that it takes Page some time to actually launch these bad boys.
  • Secondly, your requirements as a whole are rather lacking. Remove mentions of having to be a ranger.


Alright, I'm finished with my grading! I know this seems like a lot, but I just want to go into depth with helping you make some amazing abilities! As I said before, I really liked the ideas for your abilities. They're well-made with just some tweaks that need to be added. Also, I know I've said it a lot, but I'm sorry for the mistake earlier. I really love your abilities and they seem like amazing starters. If you ever need some help, remember that we're here for just that! I suggest seeing if you can find some videos on bow and arrow techniques or taking a look at Voda's abilities. Thank you and good luck - I can't wait to see the edits you make!

3Page's Guide To Surviving Empty Re: Page's Guide To Surviving 11/02/18, 07:52 pm

Serevi

Serevi
D-Tier
D-Tier

Done!

4Page's Guide To Surviving Empty Re: Page's Guide To Surviving 13/02/18, 10:30 am

Merrze

Merrze
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

Debilitating Shot: Just piercing someone would be an offensive ability. If you want to use the air to hold them down in any way you could have it to where you use the arrow to pin a limb to something for one post. It could allow you to pin people to objects, walls or their feet to the ground maybe.

Shrapnel Arrow: It sounds like you're trying to use two arrows but it doesn't directly say so. If you are make sure to edit that in. Also make sure to add to the requirements that you need to add the bombs to the arrows.

5Page's Guide To Surviving Empty Re: Page's Guide To Surviving 13/02/18, 08:06 pm

Serevi

Serevi
D-Tier
D-Tier

Done

6Page's Guide To Surviving Empty Re: Page's Guide To Surviving 13/02/18, 09:21 pm

Jingyi Hou

Jingyi Hou
A-Tier
A-Tier

I'm so sorry for not getting to these sooner! Anyways, they're looking good and you did Merr's edits right except for one thing!

Shrapnel Short: in the requirements, you don't have to put that you use two arrows. All you have to do is add this to the requirements: "Page must take a moment to manually add the bombs to the arrows". That's all. You don't have to state a post, specific time, or anything like that. Just that she has to add them. Other than that, you should be good to go!

7Page's Guide To Surviving Empty Re: Page's Guide To Surviving 13/02/18, 10:56 pm

Serevi

Serevi
D-Tier
D-Tier

Done!

8Page's Guide To Surviving Empty Re: Page's Guide To Surviving 13/02/18, 11:00 pm

Merrze

Merrze
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

Approved

Code:
[spoiler="D Tier Abilities"]
[center][b]Scan the Horizon[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] D Tier
[b]Class:[/b] Ranger
[b]Type:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Long
[b]Requirements:[/b] Page must have an unobstructed view of the area around her.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Targets; for every 10 Stamina invested, the number of Targets that this ability increases by 1.
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool down:[/b] 1 posts
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Stamina
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]
The user looks around the terrain and takes note of the positioning of allies, enemies, objects, terrain, and more in a 20 meter radius. She keeps track of one target for one post.[/list]

[center][b]Distant Shot[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] D Tier
[b]Class:[/b] Ranger
[b]Type:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Long
[b]Requirements:[/b] The user must be a wielding a ranged weapon. The user must be able to see the targeted area. In the case of a greatbow, it takes time for Page to fire her shots.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Distance; for every 10 Stamina invested, the range increases by 5 meters.
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool down:[/b] 1 posts
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Stamina
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]
The user nocks an arrow into their bow and forces it to go beyond it's normal limits. This allows the user to fire a long ranged shot from their weapon accompanied by a loud 'twang' from the bow's bowstring. The shot deals D Tier damage and can travel up to 20m.[/list]

[center][b]Snatch Shot[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] D Tier
[b]Class:[/b] Ranger
[b]Type:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Long
[b]Requirements:[/b] The user must be wielding a ranged weapon. The user must be able to see what they are targeting.  In the case of a greatbow, it takes time for Page to fire her shots.
[b]Scaling:[/b]Hits; For every 10 Stamina invested, increase the number of arrows fired by 1.
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool down:[/b] 1 posts
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Stamina
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]
Page aims carefully at an object that is being carried or held that is within 20m. She lets her arrow fly, hitting that object, the force of the impact sends it flying away from the person in the direction that the arrow is travelling.[/list]

[center][b]Debilitating Shot[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] D Tier
[b]Class:[/b] Ranger
[b]Type:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Long
[b]Requirements:[/b] The user must be a wielding a ranged weapon. The user must be able to see the targeted limb/s.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Arrow; for every 10  Stamina invested, the number of arrows used increases by 1.
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool down:[/b] 1 posts
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Stamina
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]
The user shoots an arrow up to 20 meters away at a limb or joint of a target, disabling it for one post by impaling it painfully with an arrow, pinning them to the nearest surface (object or environment)  and  dealing D Tier damage.[/list]
[/spoiler]

[spoiler="C Tier Ability"]
[center][b]Shrapnel Arrow[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] C Tier
[b]Class:[/b] Ranger
[b]Type:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Long
[b]Requirements:[/b] The user must be a wielding a greatbow. The user must be able to see the targeted area. The user must use take the time to add bombs to the arrows..
[b]Scaling:[/b] Hit; for every 10 Stamina invested, the number of arrows used by this ability increases by 2.
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool down:[/b] 2 posts
[b]Cost:[/b] 20 Stamina
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]
Page aims her shots upwards and fires two arrows, sending it flying in an arc onto a designated area within 20m. The arrows falls from the sky onto the target area/s on her next turn, each arrow deals D Tier Damage in an 3m radius around the arrow's landing point via sudden explosion of arrow shrapnel.[/list]
[/spoiler]

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