Balek Dark Djinn Equip / Abilities

Training For Duke Completed

https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t1133p30-black-kings-event-challenger-s-ambition



Djinn: Balek
Type: Bracer Hidden blades
Theme: Vapor Steam (Heat+Water)
Chant: "My fall from grace only fuels my rebellion! Balek, realize my ambition and shroud this world!
Flight: 15m/s
Cost: (Always 20 on cast; 10 per post)
Cool-Down:  8 posts
Appearance:

The appearance of the dark djinn equip takes on the form of a set of dark armor. The armor is much more slim than most, and the appearance itself reminds you of a ninja. The black helmet of the armor is  covered in black and grey designs, a small red gem resides in the middle of the forehead. The gauntlets also take on a black design, including the bracer. Lagi also gains a dark mist like cape that seems to be mostly transparent,

The weapon of Balek is a gauntlet bracer on the right hand. The blade itself is a foot long and 9 inches, Being able to extend from the top or bottom of the bracers with just a flick of the wrist.


Name: Balek's Dragon Bullet
Tier: B
Djinn: Balek of the black lance
Cost: 30 Magi
Type: (Heat + Water) Vapor Steam
Class: Offensive
Range: 30 Meters
Duration: 2 Post
Cool-Down: 5 posts
Description: A medium sized dragon head made of out heated vapor is fired from any point of Lagi' body. The dragon head itself is 15 meters in size, and it moves at the speed 20 m/s per second. The capabilities of this attack can inflict second degree burns.


Name: Balek's Jet blast
Tier: C
Djinn: Balek of the black lance
Cost: 20 Magi
Type: (Heat + Water) Vapor Steam
Class: Offensive
Range: 20 Meters
Duration: Instant
Cool-Down: 3 post
Description: Using steam magic, lagi fires off a pressurized blast of steam at 15 m/s. It can be fired at any point from lagi's body and reaches as far as 20 meters. The damage capabilities include second degree burns,potentially causing cuts and a fracture as well.



Name: Balek Shroud
Tier: B
Djinn: Balek of the black lance
Cost: 30 Magi/ 15 Magi per post
Type: (Fire + Water) Vapor Steam
Class: Supplementary
Range: 30 Meters
Duration: 4 Posts
Cool-Down: 5 posts
Description: A large wave of vapor steam  is dispersed from Lagi at 20 M/S and spreads at the range 15 Meters. This wave surrounds the appropriate coverage area  and follows Lagi as an extension of his body as long as the upkeep is paid. This removes visibility for opponents  within the range of the technique due to the thickness of the steam and constant sizzling sound that echos from within the steam fog lowers hearing. It is also treated as a sensory network, allowing lagi to detect movement from within the steam fog and give lagi  a greater reaction time towards things that happens in the steam fog. Lagi can end this spell at any time before the spell ends on its own. Its the ideal technique for assassinations. Can be seen through a higher ranked sensory ability

.

Fire
-All of these should say Heat + Water. There is no "fire" magic type.

Balek's Dragon Bullet
-Steam isn't corrosive. Remove every use of that word. You can replace it with more accurate terms like "scalding hot" or "high-temperature"
-Non-Pressurized Steam does not carry a large amount impact force. You wouldn't be able to break bones with this as it is far too big/spread out to be pressurized enough.
-Lose the aoe spreading at the end. The move only lasts one turn anyways which means this aoe would be gone before it even began to do anything unless you added a sustain.

Balek Evaporation

Djinn Absorption Rules wrote:You can not absorb your own abilities, only those of other characters.

-As per the rules you can't use this to create steam for yourself to absorb.
-You can't use this ability to turn other abilities into steam. You can create your own steam out of thin air using magic but you don't have the power to turn existing sources of liquids into steam. If you had heat magic by itself then that would be possible but you can't split the magic types. They are automatically combined.
-You can't only have a 1 post cool down. Read the cool down rules in the ability guidelines.
-Shouldn't the cost be 20 magoi?

Balek Shroud
-This should not be listed as a defensive ability.
-The duration must end at some point. You can't just use it till your magoi runs out. The longer you make the duration, the longer the cool down will be.

Ok. and now?

Cool Downs
-All of your cool downs need to be fixed. Follow the guidelines
https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t45-ability-guidelines-important

Inconspicuous Firing
-Remove all mention of firing your spells from within steam clouds. The way it's written lets you godmod auto hit people. Even if you don't plan on using it that way it's a feature that is denied for that reason.

Balek's Dragon Bullet
-You haven't removed the corrosive wording like I asked.

*Example, if you was within the shroud, i can change the meter coverage between you and when the attack reaches from 20 to 5, or make it happen right there at your face at 1 meter

-This like doesn't make any sense to me but it sounds unfair as hell.

Ok, i neutered myself... XD

Plus i want the spear for free due to the situation with zygus and the poop, ..u kno what i mean

Hello, I'm Raizel, and I'll be reviewing this app today.

Before we begin, cool djinn :)

Now, let us begin ~

Let us start with the Djinn :

a. About the Djinn:
"Theme: Vapor Steam (Fire+Water)"
Change it to (Heat + Water), since there's no fire magic in this world, only heat :)

b. Make the cooldown "8 or Amount of post used +1", since the rule about cooldown is : "They must be at least one post longer than the duration of your ability." Therefore, If you were to use this for 10 post, 8 post is less than the duration.

Let us now go on to "Balek's Dragon Bullet"

2. Balek's Dragon Bullet

a. As Yakuroro said, please remove the corrosive feature from the Dragon Bullet:

A medium sized dragon head made of out highly corrosive vapor is fired from any point of Lagi' body.

b. About this :

it loses form and disperses into an AOE High Temperature Vapor wave that covers 30 meters with the same damage capabilities.

I think you should remove this part, since as you know, according to the ability guidelines, the scale of a B rank can only be 15 meters, and since the head is already 15 meters, it shouldn't be able to disperse into 15 meters.

And if you're thinking of saying the ability guidelines said something about 30 meters, here's my answer : It's the range of the ability, not the range of the dispersal.


3. Balek's Spear

a. Change the duration to instant.

b. Change the length to 10m, since that's the max for a C rank.

c. I'm not sure if steam can "pierce halfway through the muscle and a direct attack can cause a fracture." I mean, it's just gas. How can this happen ._.

4. Balek Shroud~
a. Change "(Fire + Water) Vapor Steam" to "(Heat + Water) Vapor Steam"

b. Change the size of it to 15m.

c. Assuming that it only blocks away sight and hearing, sensing magic can see through it, ay?

Raizel wrote:Hello, I'm Raizel, and I'll be reviewing this app today.

Before we begin, cool djinn :)

Now, let us begin ~

Let us start with the Djinn :

a. About the Djinn:
    "Theme: Vapor Steam (Fire+Water)"
Change it to (Heat + Water), since there's no fire magic in this world, only heat :)

b. Make the cooldown "8 or Amount of post used +1", since the rule about cooldown is : "They must be at least one post longer than the duration of your ability." Therefore, If you were to use this for 10 post, 8 post is less than the duration.

Let us now go on to "Balek's Dragon Bullet"

2. Balek's Dragon Bullet

a. As Yakuroro said, please remove the corrosive feature from the Dragon Bullet:

A medium sized dragon head made of out highly corrosive vapor is fired from any point of Lagi' body.

b. About this :

it loses form and disperses into an AOE High Temperature Vapor wave that covers 30 meters with the same damage capabilities.

I think you should remove this part, since as you know, according to the ability guidelines, the scale of a B rank can only be 15 meters, and since the head is already 15 meters, it shouldn't be able to disperse into 15 meters.

And if you're thinking of saying the ability guidelines said something about 30 meters, here's my answer : It's the range of the ability, not the range of the dispersal.


3. Balek's Spear

a. Change the duration to instant.

b. Change the length to 10m, since that's the max for a C rank.

c. I'm not sure if steam can "pierce halfway through the muscle and a direct attack can cause a fracture." I mean, it's just gas. How can this happen ._.

4. Balek Shroud~
a. Change "(Fire + Water) Vapor Steam" to "(Heat + Water) Vapor Steam"

b. Change the size of it to 15m.

c. Assuming that it only blocks away sight and hearing, sensing magic can see through it, ay?

Yakuroro agrees and applauds Raizel for catching things that he has missed.

Except for this:

b. Make the cooldown "8 or Amount of post used +1", since the rule about cooldown is : "They must be at least one post longer than the duration of your ability." Therefore, If you were to use this for 10 post, 8 post is less than the duration.

A Djinn equip's cooldown is a set value as dictated by the Djinn system.

Everything is corrected but i want to defend my case on the spear

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Steam_Manipulation Everything on my power

Density Manipulation/Solidification via controlling steam molecules.

Hydrokinetic Constructs using steam, including weapons, walls, armor or allies/servants.

So if i can harden and compress these molecules, i should be able to make the constructed spear pierce

If you was to harden water nd make a water drill, it would pierce. In some cases this should work in comparison to other abilities

That link holds no power here. You don't have steam manipulation, you have steam magic from magi and there is a very big difference. You can't solidify steam particles you can just create steam under various conditions using heat and water. You can't harden water and make a drill either, not unless you were making it into ice.

The issue with the spear is not that it does damage but rather the type of damage it deals. I apologize for not commenting on this particular issue as I should have done so.

You could burn the enemy with the steam but the only way you could have impact force behind it is if you were firing a highly pressurized blast of steam. Thus fractured bones is an unlikely effect from your spells. Unless you are firing a pressurized stream you could really only cause burns through scalding. With a pressurized blast you could potentially cause fractures or even cuts so I suggest changing your wording to a lace made or pressurized steam rather than trying to make it solid.

k i ook your advice, i hope everything is ok now

You STILL didn't remove the corrosive steam v.v

I removed it for you thusly making this approved

Code:

[center][img]http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120621214302/yugioh/images/1/13/InfinityDark-TF04-JP-VG.jpg[/img][/center]
[b]Djinn:[/b] Balek
[b]Type:[/b] Bracer Hidden blades
[b]Theme:[/b] Vapor Steam (Heat+Water)
[b]Chant:[/b] "My fall from grace only fuels my rebellion! Balek, realize my ambition and shroud this world!
[b]Flight:[/b] 15m/s
[b]Cost:[/b] (Always 20 on cast; 10 per post)
[b]Cool-Down:[/b]  8 posts
[b]Appearance:[/b]

The appearance of the dark djinn equip takes on the form of a set of dark armor. The armor is much more slim than most, and the appearance itself reminds you of a ninja. The black helmet of the armor is  covered in black and grey designs, a small red gem resides in the middle of the forehead. The gauntlets also take on a black design, including the bracer. Lagi also gains a dark mist like cape that seems to be mostly transparent,

The weapon of Balek is a gauntlet bracer on the right hand. The blade itself is a foot long and 9 inches, Being able to extend from the top or bottom of the bracers with just a flick of the wrist.


[b]Name:[/b] Balek's Dragon Bullet
[b]Tier:[/b] B
[b]Djinn:[/b] Balek of the black lance
[b]Cost:[/b] 30 Magi
[b]Type:[/b] (Heat + Water) Vapor Steam
[b]Class:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] 30 Meters
[b]Duration:[/b] 2 Post
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 5 posts
[b]Description:[/b] A medium sized dragon head made of out heated vapor is fired from any point of Lagi' body. The dragon head itself is 15 meters in size, and it moves at the speed 20 m/s per second. The capabilities of this attack can inflict second degree burns.


[b]Name:[/b] Balek's Jet blast
[b]Tier:[/b] C
[b]Djinn:[/b] Balek of the black lance
[b]Cost:[/b] 20 Magi
[b]Type:[/b] (Heat + Water) Vapor Steam
[b]Class:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] 20 Meters
[b]Duration:[/b] Instant
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 3 post
[b]Description:[/b] Using steam magic, lagi fires off a pressurized blast of steam at 15 m/s. The Javelin is 15 meters long. It can be fired at any point from lagi's body and reaches as far as 20 meters. The damage capabilities include second degree burns,potentially causing cuts and a fracture as well.



[b]Name:[/b] Balek Shroud
[b]Tier:[/b] B
[b]Djinn:[/b] Balek of the black lance
[b]Cost:[/b] 30 Magi/ 15 Magi per post
[b]Type:[/b] (Fire + Water) Vapor Steam
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] 30 Meters
[b]Duration:[/b] 4 Posts
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 5 posts
[b]Description:[/b] A large wave of vapor steam  is dispersed from Lagi at 20 M/S and spreads at the range 15 Meters. This wave surrounds the appropriate coverage area  and follows Lagi as an extension of his body as long as the upkeep is paid. This removes visibility for opponents  within the range of the technique due to the thickness of the steam and constant sizzling sound that echos from within the steam fog lowers hearing. It is also treated as a sensory network, allowing lagi to detect movement from within the steam fog and give lagi  a greater reaction time towards things that happens in the steam fog. Lagi can end this spell at any time before the spell ends on its own. Its the ideal technique for assassinations. Can be seen through a higher ranked sensory ability

.

https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t1721-assassination-lagi-solo-training#7355

Trained, The C is free, yak knows why

Approved again~

Code:

[center][img]http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120621214302/yugioh/images/1/13/InfinityDark-TF04-JP-VG.jpg[/img][/center]
[b]Djinn:[/b] Balek
[b]Type:[/b] Bracer Hidden blades
[b]Theme:[/b] Vapor Steam (Heat+Water)
[b]Chant:[/b] "My fall from grace only fuels my rebellion! Balek, realize my ambition and shroud this world!
[b]Flight:[/b] 15m/s
[b]Cost:[/b] (Always 20 on cast; 10 per post)
[b]Cool-Down:[/b]  8 posts
[b]Appearance:[/b]

The
 appearance of the dark djinn equip takes on the form of a set of dark
armor. The armor is much more slim than most, and the appearance itself
reminds you of a ninja. The black helmet of the armor is  covered in
black and grey designs, a small red gem resides in the middle of the
forehead. The gauntlets also take on a black design, including the
bracer. Lagi also gains a dark mist like cape that seems to be mostly
transparent,

The weapon of Balek is a gauntlet bracer on the
right hand. The blade itself is a foot long and 9 inches, Being able to
extend from the top or bottom of the bracers with just a flick of the
wrist.


[b]Name:[/b] Balek's Dragon Bullet
[b]Tier:[/b] B
[b]Djinn:[/b] Balek of the black lance
[b]Cost:[/b] 30 Magi
[b]Type:[/b] (Heat + Water) Vapor Steam
[b]Class:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] 30 Meters
[b]Duration:[/b] 2 Post
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 5 posts
[b]Description:[/b]
 A medium sized dragon head made of out heated vapor is fired from any
point of Lagi' body. The dragon head itself is 15 meters in size, and it
 moves at the speed 20 m/s per second. The capabilities of this attack
can inflict second degree burns.


[b]Name:[/b] Balek's Jet blast
[b]Tier:[/b] C
[b]Djinn:[/b] Balek of the black lance
[b]Cost:[/b] 20 Magi
[b]Type:[/b] (Heat + Water) Vapor Steam
[b]Class:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] 20 Meters
[b]Duration:[/b] Instant
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 3 post
[b]Description:[/b]
 Using steam magic, lagi fires off a pressurized blast of steam at 15
m/s. The Javelin is 15 meters long. It can be fired at any point from
lagi's body and reaches as far as 20 meters. The damage capabilities
include second degree burns,potentially causing cuts and a fracture as
well.



[b]Name:[/b] Balek Shroud
[b]Tier:[/b] B
[b]Djinn:[/b] Balek of the black lance
[b]Cost:[/b] 30 Magi/ 15 Magi per post
[b]Type:[/b] (Fire + Water) Vapor Steam
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] 30 Meters
[b]Duration:[/b] 4 Posts
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 5 posts
[b]Description:[/b]
 A large wave of vapor steam  is dispersed from Lagi at 20 M/S and
spreads at the range 15 Meters. This wave surrounds the appropriate
coverage area  and follows Lagi as an extension of his body as long as
the upkeep is paid. This removes visibility for opponents  within the
range of the technique due to the thickness of the steam and constant
sizzling sound that echos from within the steam fog lowers hearing. It
is also treated as a sensory network, allowing lagi to detect movement
from within the steam fog and give lagi  a greater reaction time towards
 things that happens in the steam fog. Lagi can end this spell at any
time before the spell ends on its own. Its the ideal technique for
assassinations. Can be seen through a higher ranked sensory ability

.

The C-tier is not free, I've discussed this with Lagi so training for that is still pending.

https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t1721-assassination-lagi-solo-training#7355

Alright, edited added and retrained..... there we go >.<

Approved for realz this time