Denki No! [A-Tier Abilities]

Tier: A-Tier
Class: Body Manipulator
Type: Supplementary
Range: Long
Requirements/Drawbacks: User must open their mouth and suck in a deep breath of air. Their chest will swell up a bit, which will require the user to have some chest space to suck the deep breath of air in.
Scaling: Range
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 4 Posts
Cost: 40 Stamina
Description: The user must open their mouth and scream at top of their lungs. By manipulating their vocal chords, they are able to let out a loud and painful lightning sound screech away from them that will stagger targets, interrupting all lower tier abilities and actions within 20 meters of the user.

Tier: A-Tier
Class: Body Manipulator
Type: Supplementary
Range: Long
Requirements/Drawbacks: User must step hard with his right foot on the ground, performing the ability as he steps.
Scaling: Range
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 4 Posts
Cost: 40 Stamina
Description: The user will manipulate the muscles in their right leg to go past their limits and allow for the user to near instantly cover a distance up to 20 meters in one powerful step. Muscles in the right leg increase in strength and get slightly larger, and gain a spring like quality to be able to travel so fast with such bounce. A small part of the surface the user is standing on may break and crumble where he stepped.

Denki no Himei
-The requirements should include having to suck in a deep breath and needing room for the chest to swell or something. Merely opening your mouth is a bit too easy to meet.

-40m is way too big

-This should only work on lower ranked abilities to stay in line with the fana racial and also prevent it from being an instant interrupt on all actions.


Denki no Ho
-Requirements should probably be a bit more in depth.

-How exactly is your leg being manipulated and why only the right leg?

-40m is way too far of a distance to cover instantly.

Made appropriate edits I think.

Denki no Ho: manipulating your muscles too go past their limits isnt much, if pushing past your limits is what you want that's fine. But generally it would be good to describe are you increasing the amount if muscle in your leg, are you shaping it function like a powerful spring to launch yourself. You could even go as far to manipulating the muscles in your legs to emphasize on power strength for such a kick off, possibly breaking away some of the area you're from and explaining why you're bulleting so fast and far with out any other steps.

I made edits.

Looking good, approved for training.

Code:

[center][b]Denki No Himei![/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] A-Tier
[b]Class:[/b] Body Manipulator
[b]Type:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Long
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] User must open their mouth and suck in a deep breath of air. Their chest will swell up a bit, which will require the user to have some chest space to suck the deep breath of air in.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Range
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool Down:[/b] 4 Posts
[b]Cost:[/b] 40 Stamina
[b]Description:[/b] The user must open their mouth and scream at top of their lungs. By manipulating their vocal chords, they are able to let out a loud and painful lightning sound screech away from them that will stagger targets, interrupting all lower tier abilities and actions within 20 meters of the user.

[center][b]Denki No Ho![/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] A-Tier
[b]Class:[/b] Body Manipulator
[b]Type:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Long
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] User must step hard with his right foot on the ground, performing the ability as he steps.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Range
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool Down:[/b] 4 Posts
[b]Cost:[/b] 40 Stamina
[b]Description:[/b] The user will manipulate the muscles in their right leg to go past their limits and allow for the user to near instantly cover a distance up to 20 meters in one powerful step. Muscles in the right leg increase in strength and get slightly larger, and gain a spring like quality to be able to travel so fast with such bounce. A small part of the surface the user is standing on may break and crumble where he stepped.

Denki No Ho and Denki No Himei training complete.

https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t10582-the-red-ogre-s-teachings-training#57811

Training approved!