you need to start putting the word ability next to damage, gives off the impression that people can just use basic for a tit for tat and that simply isn't the case. Also got a few more gripes but it's technicalities more than anything else.
Blut Schleier: defend against a total of "C-Tier ability damage". The last sentence of this ability has to go. You can't just scale up to sneak in a second function that correlates to the synergy of the theme of losing blood. What you should say is this.
"Due to the extremities of hardening the limb and compression of carbon, this hardens and compresses any existing wound on the limb to prevent exposure. for the duration of this ability. "
^ this is self-explanatory and actually explains why you wouldn't bleed over you making that second sentence statement because then it'll be a second function. See, if you don't take my advice here, this would only stop the bleeding for one post and a total of D-tier damage to block. With my advice, You can still keep your c, it can be strictly defensive, and because of the method, your wounds harden over and blood won't escape. What's your sustain rate? You can go by the spec tier so it's 2 posts anyway for C-tier. It's literally the same move that doesn't hurt you if you do it the way that i suggest.
Until you become a true red lion or find a trait that brings you closer to that DNA, you are gonna have to substitute the word "scales" for something else.
Blut Arterie: Until you become a true red lion or find a trait that brings you closer to that DNA, you are gonna have to substitute the word "scales" for something else. Everything else is fine except the additional damage wording. The wording has to be changed. It shouldn't be treated as an additional instance.
" Due to the high concentration of magoi while this ability is active, a single basic attack that involves the use of one of their hardened hand(s) will deal A-tier ability damage. This can occur once per post as long as this ability is active/sustained."
^ if changed this way, it would be fine. You can even bitch slap someone for A tier ability damage if you want.
Song Of the white lion: This is treated as fanalis roar correct? This means, its all of this, on top of what Fanalis roar does.
- Spoiler:
Fanalis Roar
Tier: C
Specialization: Fanalis Racial
Type: Supplementary
Range: Short(3m)
Requirements/Drawbacks: User must inhale a deep breath before roaring.
Scaling: AoE
Sustain: -
Cool Down: 2 posts
Cost: -
Description:
After taking a deep breath, the fanalis lets out a mighty roar to stun and intimidate enemies. The enemy does not suffer any actual paralysis, however, the noise is loud enough to cause pain and will stagger foes using basic actions or lower ranked abilities.
This is unique so I'm actually keeping an open mind and not overlooking the conjunction of what these abilities are. Rules regarding the fanalis roar, it causes a stagger for basic actions or lower ranked abilities. With the white lion song, this bumps up ur stagger to C rank and lower ability usage, regardless of whether they were scaled or not because it'll follow the original rank of the ability itself. That's why it's strong.
The attack cannot be seen and is not formatted in a way that can be clashed against, all you have is a range of hearing. No, this has to have a contest. Since you are putting so much power into your lungs and your vocal cords, you are sacrificing the discreetness of this ability for more power. So in the description, it has to be powerful enough to format a vibration that travels through the air.
If it's around the user and not the direction she's facing, this has to be lowered to 30 meters.
B-tier damage can possibly cause major internal damage, you can't get a 3 turn deafness on top of b tier damage. As a matter of fact, you already have a secondary effect to this, the stun.
So basically, fanalis roar is free, but you have to add 2 to the cooldown of the song of the white lion. No deafness but it'll look like this.
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Song of the White Lion
Tier: B
Class: Body Manipulator
Type: Supplementary
Range: Long
Requirements/Drawbacks: The user must manipulate their throat and inhale a deep breath before roaring. This is treated as "Fanalis Roar" and it's use must coincide along with this ability, increasing the cooldown.
Scaling: AoE
Sustain: -
Cool Down: 3+(2)
Cost: 30 s | 15 s
Description:
The user changes the structure of their vocal cords to allow them to fine-tune their Fanalis roar. After manipulating their throat and taking a deep breath, the user lets out a mighty roar that rings on a much higher frequency than a normal roar. The power of the roar creates a vibration in the air that radiates around 30m from the user. This deals B-tier ability damage to a target's ears, as well as stagger foes using basic actions or lower-ranked abilities that are C-tier and lower in rank.
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Now you don't have to listen to me if you want that deafness really badly, but then you'll have to remove any notion of it being a fanalis roar because that takes up the portion of it being the special effect of the ability you can get away with. It's just a powerful roar, you still need a contested variable like the vibrations in the air (even my sound magic had one), you still need to lower the range to either a diameter spread for 30 meters, or a directed spread of where your head is facing for 40 meters. In addition to that, it'll deal C-tier ability damage to the ears and cause 2 posts of deafness.
But that's my call you are free to veto this as well.
