Atlas's Starters

Atlas Prime · 1 Atlas's Starters 09/10/18, 11:14 pm

Atlas Prime

D-Tier

Long Shot

Tier: D
Class: Ranger
Type: Offensive
Range: Long
Requirements/Drawbacks: The user must grab an arrow and nock it on the bow and to take a breath to focus
Scaling: Damage increases by 1 tier per 10 stamina spent
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10 stamina| 5 sustain
Description:

Explosive Trap

Tier: D
Class: Ranger
Type: Offensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Atlas must bend down and open and set the trap
Scaling: Damage increases by 1 tier per 10 stamina spent
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10 stamina | 5 sustain
Description:

Quick Retreat

Tier: D
Class: Ranger
Type: Supplementry
Range: Medium
Requirements/Drawbacks: The user must crouch down
Scaling: Distance increased by 1 tier per 10 stamina spent
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10 stamina | 5 sustain
Description:

Blinding Shot

Tier: D
Class: Ranger
Type: Supplementary
Range: Medium
Requirements/Drawbacks: The user must grab an arrow and nock it on the bow and attaching the light bomb to the arrow
Scaling: Time enemy is blinding increases by 1 post per 10 stamina spent
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10 stamina | 5 sustain
Description:

Double Shot

Tier: C
Class: Ranger
Type: Offensive
Range: Medium
Requirements/Drawbacks: The user must grab 2 arrows and nock them on the bow
Scaling: Adds one extra shot per 10 stamina spent
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 2
Cost: 20 stamina | 10 sustain
Description:

Last edited by Atlas Prime on 13/10/18, 12:09 am; edited 3 times in total

Ariel · 2 Re: Atlas's Starters 11/10/18, 11:35 pm

Ariel

A-Tier

Character Sheet
Magoi:

(400/400)
Stamina:

(175/175)

Overview:: The first thing I'm gonna say right off the bat is that sustain should be listed as either '-' or '0'. It can be a tad confusing initially, but essentially it works as a counter in-thread. So every time you sustain in a thread, that counter is supposed to go up to keep track of the number of sustains done.

Also, please specify how much the sustain affects. E.g., for your first ability, Long Shot, please add that damage increases by a tier.

Now, onto specifics~!

Long Shot:

Aside from everything mentioned above, I have two notes specifically for this ability:

Since your character is a ranger, this ability should be 20m as their max distance.
Since you mention 'heightens senses' you should add this into your requirements. So maybe add something like needing to take a moment beforehand to concentrate on his senses or something.

Knife Cut:

Your requirement is too vague. However, this is likely more indictive of the fact that your ability is overall rather vague and general. Maybe add some details like the direction of the slash, where it targets, or something other to overall spice it up.

Blinding Shot:

Just put the part about attatching the light bomb to the arrow in the requirements/drawbacks and you're good.

Double Shot:

Range should be increased to 15m.

Atlas Prime · 3 Re: Atlas's Starters 12/10/18, 02:27 am

Atlas Prime

D-Tier

Bump, got those done

Ariel · 4 Re: Atlas's Starters 12/10/18, 09:29 am

Ariel

A-Tier

Character Sheet
Magoi:

(400/400)
Stamina:

(175/175)

Knife Cut:

Your requirements are still too vague.
- You could add something like specifically needing to reach across his waist to pull the knife out since reasonably this is how you would likely try to draw any weapon. Trying to draw it directly behind you is a rather tricky maneuver to pull off with any successful effect.
This is the one suggestion I've come up with, but there are other ways to make your requirements less vague. You can try using the ability details you have now to make a requirement, or you could add more details to your description to use in your requirements.

Atlas Prime · 5 Re: Atlas's Starters 12/10/18, 05:18 pm

Atlas Prime

D-Tier

Okay, i did that bump

Ariel · 6 Re: Atlas's Starters 12/10/18, 05:20 pm

Ariel

A-Tier

Character Sheet
Magoi:

(400/400)
Stamina:

(175/175)

Approved

Code:: [center][b]Long Shot[/b][/center] [b]Tier:[/b] D [b]Class:[/b] Ranger [b]Type:[/b] Offensive [b]Range:[/b] Long [b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] The user must grab an arrow and nock it on the bow and to take a breath to focus [b]Scaling:[/b] Damage increases by 1 tier per 10 stamina spent [b]Sustain:[/b] 0 [b]Cool Down:[/b] 1 [b]Cost:[/b] 10 stamina| 5 sustain [b]Description:[/b] [list] Atlas heightens his senses and reaches back for an arrow. Once knocked he aims and releases it at the target. It will travel in a in a arc towards the target up to 20m and deal D-rank damage to them[/list] [center][b]Quick Retreat[/b][/center] [b]Tier:[/b] D [b]Class:[/b] Ranger [b]Type:[/b] Supplementry [b]Range:[/b] Medium [b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] The user must crouch down [b]Scaling:[/b] Distance increased by 1 tier per 10 stamina spent [b]Sustain:[/b] 0 [b]Cool Down:[/b] 1 [b]Cost:[/b] 10 stamina | 5 sustain [b]Description:[/b] [list] Atlas crouches down in a long position and pushes off the crown flying backwards to land 5 meters behind him.[/list] [center][b]Blinding Shot[/b][/center] [b]Tier:[/b] D [b]Class:[/b] Ranger [b]Type:[/b] Supplementary [b]Range:[/b] Medium [b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] The user must grab an arrow and nock it on the bow and attaching the light bomb to the arrow [b]Scaling:[/b] Time enemy is blinding increases by 1 post per 10 stamina spent [b]Sustain:[/b] 0 [b]Cool Down:[/b] 1 [b]Cost:[/b] 10 stamina | 5 sustain [b]Description:[/b] [list] Atlas attaches a light bomb to his arrow and aims and releases it towards the target spot up to 10 m away. When the arrow lands it will send out a blinding light to blind all targets within 5 meters of it for a total of 1 post[/list]

Code:: [center][b]Double Shot[/b][/center] [b]Tier:[/b] C [b]Class:[/b] Ranger [b]Type:[/b] Offensive [b]Range:[/b] Medium [b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] The user must grab 2 arrows and nock them on the bow [b]Scaling:[/b] Adds one extra shot per 10 stamina spent [b]Sustain:[/b] 0 [b]Cool Down:[/b] 2 [b]Cost:[/b] 20 stamina | 10 sustain [b]Description:[/b] [list] Atlas nocks one arrow at a time and releases them in quick succession after each other. Each arrow does D-rank damage and can fly up to 15m. Atlas must fire at least 2 arrows and this shot can only be fired at one target. [/list]

Update: When you've replaced Knife Cut, bump this thread and I'll grade it.