Hunting The Bears! [D - Repeatable]

Job Name: Hunting the Bears!
Job Rank: D
Job Location: Reim
Job Rewards: 3,000 Huang + 50 Exp
Job Overview: The fishermen are shocked. It has been going on for a while now that hungry bears are stealing all the fishes! It's time for you to take down those bears so the fishermen can do their work again! You will wander around in Reim before you meet the fishermen. After accepting the Mission make sure you search for the bears at a place that is close to a river before you take them down! You will then notice that the bear isn't a normal one but an unusual huge and dangerous and aggressive one. After you killed him bring his fangs or claws to the fishermen as proof before you can claim your reward.

Enemies:

https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t849-bear-hunting-missionsolo#3728 done!

Approved & Rewarded!

https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t1020-going-huntingsolo-job#4536 finished

Approved & Rewarded

Approved & Rewarded

approved and rewarded~

Your job is approved and rewarded, but there are a few things I fell I should bring up with you.

-You have some fairly bad grammar. Remember to use commas when there would be a pause in your sentences. Otherwise they flow in a weird way and are hard to understand. For example:

Jahan stopped for a moment then pointed at the man fish in the air.

When I first read this line I was very confused as it naturally reads that there is some kind of freak man fish floating in the air. But that would be solved with a simple comma Like so:

Jahan stopped for a moment then pointed at the man, fish in the air.

-The next issue is that you are breaking the fourth wall with this post. Winnie the Pooh doesn't exist in this world, nor does Yogi bear. Your character shouldn't be mentioning them and doing so would just make people look at him like he is insane.

Yakuroro wrote:Your job is approved and rewarded, but there are a few things I fell I should bring up with you.

-You have some fairly bad grammar. Remember to use commas when there would be a pause in your sentences. Otherwise they flow in a weird way and are hard to understand. For example:

Jahan stopped for a moment then pointed at the man fish in the air.

When I first read this line I was very confused as it naturally reads that there is some kind of freak man fish floating in the air. But that would be solved with a simple comma Like so:

Jahan stopped for a moment then pointed at the man, fish in the air.

-The next issue is that you are breaking the fourth wall with this post. Winnie the Pooh doesn't exist in this world, nor does Yogi bear. Your character shouldn't be mentioning them and doing so would just make people look at him like he is insane.

Sorry about that, I should probably stop writing for a moment. I've been at it for a while, and as such, my grammar has taken a toll. Anyway, I see now that I was taking too much creative freedom in effort of comedic relief. So Yea I'll keep that in mind from now on.