Gusion Weapon Equip/Abilities

Djinn: Gusion
Type: Bow
Theme: Storm
Chant: “He who causes destruction, surge through my hands, so I may shoot down my enemies, Gusion.”
Cost: 10 on cast, 5 per post
Cool-Down: 5 posts
Appearance: Gusion’s Metal Vessel takes on the form of what looks like an angelic crystallize bow. The bow is white on most of the part of the bow, but with the exception of two blue crystallizes parts to it. The edges of the bow look to be stiff feathers, and actually feels like feathers. It is 50 inches long and has a width of 3 inches. The string can barely be seen, and doesn’t need to be use, but can be pulled to use techniques.

Name: Gusion’s Tornado
Tier: B
Djinn: Gusion
Cost: 30
Type: Storm
Class: Offensive
Range: 40 Meters
Duration: 3 Posts
Cool-Down: 5 Posts
Description: The user is able to manipulate the power of their Dijinn as they pulled the string of the bow back creating an arrow. This arrow is surging with the power of wind and lightning, and anybody who sees the arrow can see the wind rotating around the arrow and the lightning surging through it. The energy of the arrow is compressed for a nasty effect. When the arrow is shot it goes to their target at a speed of 20 meters per second, and goes as far as 40 meters. When the arrow hits their target the arrow will change to that of a tornado with electrical current moving around it. The arrow itself doesn't do any damage. The tornado is 15 meters in scale in height, and width. It will move around the area within a 40 meter radius, and move at 20 meters per second. Anybody who gets caught in this will suffer constant B tier damage, being sliced up by the wind of the tornado, going straight to the bone and nicking it. They will also be shocked from the lightning surging through the tornado causing their body to be paralyze for 3 post.

Name: Gusion’s Shocking Truth
Tier: B
Djinn: Gusion
Cost: 30
Type: Storm
Class: Offensive
Range: 40 Meters
Duration: Instant
Cool-Down: 5 Posts
Description: The user is able to manipulate the power of their Dijinn as they pulled the string of the bow back creating an arrow. The user creates an arrow surging in lightning. When the arrow is shot it goes to their target at a speed of 20 meters per second, and goes as far as 40 meters. When the target is hit, the impact of the arrow will pierce their target, and break their bone on impact.. They will feel the shock of the arrow, and a blast wave of lightning will occur. The target(s) who gets hit by the blast will suffer paralysis around their whole body for 3 posts. Anybody within a 15 meter radius will be caught by the blast and suffer damage as well as 2nd degree burns.

Gusion’s Tornado: You've written this as if it's two separate abilities. You cannot deal B-tier damage, B-tier lightning effects, and constant C-tier damage all in a single B-tier attack. I recommend removing the B-tier damage from the arrow itself and just turning it into the tornado to deal consistent B-tier damage with B-tier lightning effects. Regardless, don't just state the tier of the damage dealt and explain what kind of B-tier damage is being dealt instead.

Gusion’s Shocking Truth: You don't have a way to create flames so remove that portion. Same with the above technique too. Don't just say "B-tier damage" you need to explain what type of damage, B-tier just gives a generalization for the degree of damage. Does it only break bones like a blunt attack? Does it cut into flesh like a blade? etc etc

If these are Djinn abilities then they don't get the speed/range boost from your Dex spec. That only applies to your Dex abilities. If I'm wrong about this, and admin can come in and correct me.

edit

For both of these you are still treating them like dex abilities(60m of range) and you are still treating them as two separate attacks. This exceeds what is allowed in the ability guidelines for B-tier.

I don't think you understand that these Djinn abilities are magic spells, they are NOT Dexterity techniques. You can still use dex abilities with your bow, but these djinn abilities do not receive dex bonuses. There shouldn't be a real physical arrow impacting the target unless it's made from wind/lightning and that IS the attack itself. Remove the portions where you mention these as being two attacks(first the arrow impact, then the effect of the spell.)

In addition, please proof read your first spell as it is full of grammar errors which make it quite the confusing read.

i edited Yaku

Approved and moved~