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Sirius Star's Starter Abilities

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1Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 17/04/19, 08:12 am

Swift Chamber
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Defensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must be able to step to the outside of his opponent and make contact with the arm closest to him.
Scaling: Damage
Sustain:0
Cool Down:1
Cost:10 Stamina
Description:
 
Sirius must step to the outside of his opponent as they attack, pushing their arm to the inside with his hand and move to grab the back of their neck area with his other arm. Simultaneously he'll step around at 180 degree's, to face the other side. During this motion he uses momentum to bring his opponent with him, causing them to stumble forward off balance. As the opponent comes close to his chest, his other hand slides up to the base of the throat and turns down as he lowers the base of his body with his opponent slamming to the ground.

Kick Start
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Defensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius can only use this attack against a punch or kick. He must first make contact with the limb and pull them off balance simultaneously.
Scaling: Damage
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:
 
Sirius delivers a strong side kick to his opponents midsection after parrying a punch or a kick.

Shooting Star
Tier: D-tier
Type: Offensive
Range: Close - Mid
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must get no less than a 3 meter running start. This ability can also be used be launching himself from a wall or pillar.
Scaling:Damage
Sustain:0
Cool Down:1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:
 
A driving jump kick to the midsection that devastates opponents with high speed.

Starfall
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Offensive
Range: Close - Mid
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must be airborne to perform this attack.
Scaling:Damage
Sustain:0
Cool Down:1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:
 
Sirius focuses on his opponent from mid air before driving down with both feet.

Meteor Strike
Tier:D-Tier
Type: Supplemental
Range:Close
Requirements:Sirius must strike the ground with his fist.
Scaling: Range
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 2
Cost:10 Stamina
Description:
 
Sirius slam his fist into the ground creating a small shockwave that knocks his opponents away. Can cause minor damage from flying debris.



Last edited by SiriusStar on 25/04/19, 09:38 pm; edited 13 times in total

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2Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 17/04/19, 04:26 pm

Zion

Zion
β-Tier
β-Tier
This app has been tagged for a training grading from our new mod and will be reviewed in staff chat. Please be patient and expect an official grading some time tomorrow.


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3Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 17/04/19, 04:51 pm

Ok, thanks for the update.

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4Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 18/04/19, 09:06 pm

Trently

Trently
A-Tier
A-Tier
Hey Sirius, I will doing my best here to grade your abilities, let us begin.

Lion Strike Rush

What is put for the Requirement and Drawback does not work. Range dictates how far your ability can hit, not the Requirement and Drawbacks, at least in your case. Please choose a new Requirement/Drawback. I suggest a Requirement/Drawback that needs the user of the ability to first cock back their fist or leg.

Usually combos are not submitted for D-Tier abilities. I would advise changing this ability to either a kick to the stomach that launches a person upward a specified distance. If you want a combo like ability then what I would suggest at your rank is to replace damage with hits.

Hits Scaling allows you to scale how many hits you do with the ability relative to per 10 Stamina paid. For each 10 Stamina paid, the number of hits double if I recall correctly.

Please specify the damage that your ability does to the target and change the Cost on the ability from 10s to 10 Stamina to clarify you are using Stamina.

Lion Strike Rush (2)

What I said about Requirements/Drawback in the ability above applies to this ability as well.

What I said about Stamina and Combos in the ability above applies to this ability as well. Specify the damage that your ability does. The rank this ability is currently does not allow for it to perform more than a single instance of D-Tier damage unless you apply Hits Scaling to it. Keep in mind that D-Tier is the lowest rank and that it is not capable of being split up into smaller tiers of damage. Let us say for example if you had a C-Tier ability you would be able to split it into two instances of D-Tier damage. I hope that clears it up for you.

Shooting Star

This ability should have the Stamina specified to be 10 Stamina. As well with that, please specify the damage your kick does to the target.

Meteor Strike

This ability Requirement/Drawback is better off being "user must punch the ground with their fist". Cost should be 10 Stamina and only that for a D-Tier ability. Please specify the damage this ability is inflicting upon the target. You will need to as well remove the word "supernova" and perhaps replace it with shockwave.

Fanalis Roar

This ability simply is not needed to be submitted, all fanalis have this inherently and it may be added to their vault in the form it is found within the Race System.


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5Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 19/04/19, 07:59 pm

Edits made and I added one. Please advise

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6Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 22/04/19, 12:05 am

Trently

Trently
A-Tier
A-Tier
Okay, for any "combo" abilities, let me try to explain how they would work at D-Tier.

When a combo ability is made, it usually is done so by splitting the damage of the ability into smaller instances. D-Tier damage cannot be split up because there is no tier lower than it but C-Tier abilities can be split up into two D-Tiers. I hope that is clear and makes sense. So you can only have one attack in your ability at D-Tier, not multiple. However, you can perform the same hit in your ability more than once by hit scaling. As well as take out all instances where you say the ability breaks bones because D-Tier cannot do that, only if it is C-Tier it can.

Please specify the tier of damage your abilities do by the way (Ex; D-Tier damage).

For Meteor Strike, replace Large AOE in Scaling with Range.


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7Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 23/04/19, 08:43 am

Understood. I was a bit mislead by the Fanalis tier damage description. Edited once more. Please advise.

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8Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 25/04/19, 09:22 pm

Trently

Trently
A-Tier
A-Tier
I apologise but some of the edits said to be made have not been made.

Let me do my best to clarify certain things.

Specify the tier of damage you do in your ability.

For example, you should directly say D-Tier danage.

Then moving forward, I told you that a flurry of kicks and an axe kick all in one ability is not approvable for D-Tier. It should be more of one motion and one attack, not multiple like a flurry of kicks then an axe kick. So please remove all multiple attack abilities. The closest you can get to that are Hits Scaling where you perform the same attack of the ability again, see the Hits Scaling section in the Ability System for more information iirrc.

Please keep in mind D-Tier abilities should not be complex like your first listed ability is, but instead much simpler like your other abilities.


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9Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 25/04/19, 10:09 pm

Apologies, I've been using this app when not at my laptop and some edits aren't saving. Checked and double, DOUBLE checked. Please advise. Tier damage specified and single action techniques made.

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10Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 26/04/19, 12:43 pm

Zion

Zion
β-Tier
β-Tier
Hey there, sorry for the delay on the final grading of these abilities. There seemed to be some misunderstandings despite Trently's best efforts to communicate the edits needed. I will go ahead and do some example edits with brief notes about what was important in the changes. The examples can be used if you like them, but feel free to just use them as guides to make your own reworks since I'll be taking some liberties with my edits to help them better fit the systems.

Swift Chamber/Lion Strike Rush
-Regarding Swift Chamber, I understand that this might be viewed as a "defensive" technique irl, under this systems it would fall under offensive. The other issue is that a grapple like this should really be more C-tier or B-tier as the technique required goes beyond the beginner levels of D-tier abilities. Those two things said, it's a great ability and I encourage you to use it as you develop your character.
-Unfortunately I can't copy the original code for Lion Strike Rush, but I've chosen to use it in place it Swift Chamber as its better suited to converting into a D-tier ability.

Updated to Lion Strike:

Lion Strike
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Offensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must enter his stance and draw back his arm before punching again with the same arm.
Scaling: Hits
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:

    Sirius pulls both arms close to his chest with fists raised pointing outwards with knuckles extended slightly resembling a lion's paw. Once his arms are in position, Sirius executes a swift straight jab dealing D-tier damage. Scaling allows Sirius to alternate punching arms, continue with one arm, or mix them up freely.






-This is a pretty simple and straightforward ability with some flavor added in. Feel free to ditch the lion paw motif if it doesn't suit you. It can still be a rush of punches but to make it a "combo" you should follow it up with another ability such as one for the roundhouse kick that was in the original version.

Code:
[center][b]Lion Strike[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] D-Tier
[b]Type:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks: [/b] Sirius must enter his stance and draw back his arm before punching again with the same arm.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Hits
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool Down:[/b] 1
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 Stamina
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]Sirius pulls both arms close to his chest with fists raised pointing outwards with knuckles extended slightly resembling a lion's paw. Once his arms are in position, Sirius executes a swift straight jab dealing D-tier damage. Scaling allows Sirius to alternate punching arms, continue with one arm, or mix them up freely.[/list]

Kick Start
Original:
Kick Start
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Defensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius can only use this attack against a punch or kick. He must first make contact with the limb and pull them off balance simultaneously.
Scaling: Damage
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:
 
Sirius delivers a strong side kick to his opponents midsection after parrying a punch or a kick.

-You have two actions here with a defensive parry and an offensive kick. If it were a C-tier ability you could split the potency into to D-tier effects to make an ability like this. But since it is D-tier, you must pick one of the two. Since you lack a parry I will make one for you now.

Updated to Pouncing Fist:

Pouncing Fist
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Defensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must be able to clearly perceive the incoming attack and have a free arm forming the lion fist. Does not work on intangible or non-physical attacks.
Scaling: Damage
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:

    Upon perceiving an incoming attack, Sirius tenses up an arm and forms a fist with extended knuckles to resemble a lions paw. Sirius swipes with his "paw" horizontally in order to redirect the attack to the left or right. This ability can parry up to D-tier damage.





-Again, a pretty simple move. It's just a side swipe to deflect attacks. It's not super useful against horizontal attacks though so you will need to develop more parrys as you develop your abilities.
-As you can see, the description only mentions D-tier damage, this is because its assumed everyone knows that the damage scaling means it can exceed that.

Code:
[center][b]Pouncing Fist[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] D-Tier
[b]Type: [/b] Defensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] Sirius must be able to clearly perceive the incoming attack and have a free arm forming the lion fist. Does not work on intangible or non-physical attacks.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Damage
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool Down:[/b] 1
[b]Cost: [/b] 10 Stamina
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]Upon perceiving an incoming attack, Sirius tenses up an arm and forms a fist with extended knuckles to resemble a lions paw. Sirius swipes with his "paw" horizontally in order to redirect the attack to the left or right. This ability can parry up to D-tier damage.[/list]

Shooting Star
Original Shooting Star:

Shooting Star
Tier: D-tier
Type: Offensive
Range: Close - Mid
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must crouch deeply against a solid surface prior to launching himself. Alternatively this can be performed after a 3m running start.
Scaling:Damage
Sustain:0
Cool Down:1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:
 
After crouching to fully compress his muscles like a spring, or getting a running start, Sirius launches himself towards an opponent up to 5m away. In the air, Sirius orientates his feet towards the target to deliver a kick with both legs dealing D-tier damage.




Updated Shooting Star:

Shooting Star
Tier: D-tier
Type: Offensive
Range: Close - Mid
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must crouch deeply against a solid surface prior to launching himself. Alternatively this can be performed after a 3m running start.
Scaling:Damage
Sustain:0
Cool Down:1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:

    After crouching to fully compress his muscles like a spring, or getting a running start, Sirius launches himself towards an opponent up to 5m away. In the air, Sirius orientates his feet towards the target to deliver a kick with both legs dealing D-tier damage.


-I added a hard range into the description. I also gave an alternative requirement that makes more sense for performing it off walls or pillars.without having to actually mention them. I was also more specific with the movements taken to perform the attack.

Code:
[center][b]Shooting Star[/b][/center]
[b]Tier: [/b] D-tier
[b]Type: [/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close - Mid
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks: [/b] Sirius must crouch deeply against a solid surface prior to launching himself. Alternatively this can be performed after a 3m running start.
[b]Scaling:[/b]Damage
[b]Sustain:[/b]0
[b]Cool Down:[/b]1
[b]Cost: [/b]10 Stamina
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]After crouching to fully compress his muscles like a spring, or getting a running start, Sirius launches himself towards an opponent up to 5m away. In the air, Sirius orientates his feet towards the target to deliver a kick with both legs dealing D-tier damage.[/list]

Starfall
Original Starfall:
Starfall
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Offensive
Range: Close - Mid
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must be airborne to perform this attack.
Scaling:Damage
Sustain:0
Cool Down:1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:
 
Sirius focuses on his opponent from mid air before driving down with both feet.

-Being airborne was too vague a requirement and the description is a bit too bare bones. But more importantly it seemed like this was intended to work together with shooting star. But since shooting start would likely push the target away before you could follow up with this, I've changed it into something that can follow up Lion Strike.

Updated to Eclipsed Comet:

Eclipsed Comet
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Offensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must have extended his fist or weapon into the opponent's face so as to obscure their vision with a previous attack. Sirius must be able to balance on his off leg and the attacking leg can't be used for abilities until the cooldown is finished.
Scaling:Damage
Sustain:0
Cool Down:1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:
    Sirius first strikes at his targets face with his fist or a weapon. It doesn't matter if this attack lands or not as it is just to obscure the opponent's view. Taking advantage of that instant where its hard to see his movements, Sirius raises his leg straight up with lightning speed and then brings it down for an axe kick dealing D-tier damage.





-I made this to combo off Lion Strike so that at any point in your jab combo, you can aim for the face and trigger the requirements to suddenly drop an axe kick on them.
-If you are wondering why there needs to be an ability lock cool down drawback, it is because the description emphasizes abnormal speed for executing an action so there needed to be something to balance that.

Code:
[center][b]Eclipsed Comet[/b][/center]
[b]Tier: [/b] D-Tier
[b]Type: [/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks: [/b] Sirius must have extended his fist or weapon into the opponent's face so as to obscure their vision with a previous attack. Sirius must be able to balance on his off leg and the attacking leg can't be used for abilities until the cooldown is finished.
[b]Scaling:[/b]Damage
[b]Sustain:[/b]0
[b]Cool Down:[/b]1
[b]Cost: [/b]10 Stamina
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]Sirius first strikes at his targets face with his fist or a weapon. It doesn't matter if this attack lands or not as it is just to obscure the opponent's view. Taking advantage of that instant where its hard to see his movements, Sirius raises his leg straight up with lightning speed and then brings it down for an axe kick dealing D-tier damage.[/list]


Meteor Strike

I will leave this one up to you as I think the above examples should have helped out. But I do have some suggestions like adding in the distance of how far the shockwave travels and how far it can push things if it hits them. You'll have to drop the damage though as this is a supplemental ability.


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11Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 26/04/19, 02:32 pm

Lion Strike
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Offensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must enter his stance and draw back his arm before punching again with the same arm.
Scaling: Hits
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:

    Sirius pulls both arms close to his chest with fists raised pointing outwards with knuckles extended slightly resembling a lion's paw. Once his arms are in position, Sirius executes a swift straight jab dealing D-tier damage. Scaling allows Sirius to alternate punching arms, continue with one arm, or mix them up freely.


Pouncing Fist
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Defensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must be able to clearly perceive the incoming attack and have a free arm forming the lion fist. Does not work on intangible or non-physical attacks.
Scaling: Damage
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:

    Upon perceiving an incoming attack, Sirius tenses up an arm and forms a fist with extended knuckles to resemble a lions paw. Sirius swipes with his "paw" horizontally in order to redirect the attack to the left or right. This ability can parry up to D-tier damage.


Shooting Star
Tier: D-tier
Type: Offensive
Range: Close - Mid
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must crouch deeply against a solid surface prior to launching himself. Alternatively this can be performed after a 3m running start.
Scaling:Damage
Sustain:0
Cool Down:1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:

    After crouching to fully compress his muscles like a spring, or getting a running start, Sirius launches himself towards an opponent up to 5m away. In the air, Sirius orientates his feet towards the target to deliver a kick with both legs dealing D-tier damage.













Eclipsed Comet
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Offensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must have extended his fist or weapon into the opponent's face so as to obscure their vision with a previous attack. Sirius must be able to balance on his off leg and the attacking leg can't be used for abilities until the cooldown is finished.
Scaling:Damage
Sustain:0
Cool Down:1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:

    Sirius first strikes at his targets face with his fist or a weapon. It doesn't matter if this attack lands or not as it is just to obscure the opponent's view. Taking advantage of that instant where its hard to see his movements, Sirius raises his leg straight up with lightning speed and then brings it down for an axe kick dealing D-tier damage.



Meteor Strike
Tier: D-Tier
Type: Supplement
Range: Medium
Requirements/Drawbacks: Sirius must be able to rear back his arm back as far as he can before striking the ground with his fist. Sirius must drop his whole body into a kneel simultaneously with this punch.
Scaling: Range
Sustain:0
Cool Down:1
Cost: 10 Stamina
Description:

    Sirius clenches a tight fist and tightens the muscles in his arms as he rears back as far as he can before delivering a mighty fist into the ground causing a shock wave. The shock wave spreads to the area around him, 360 from impact point up to 3 meters which can push opponents caught in it away up to 1 meter. This attack also raises debris into the air which he can use as a cover.



Last edited by SiriusStar on 27/04/19, 09:49 am; edited 2 times in total

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12Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 26/04/19, 02:37 pm

I appreciate the patience and extra assistance with the development of all this.

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13Sirius Star's Starter Abilities Empty Re: Sirius Star's Starter Abilities on 27/04/19, 08:37 am

Zion

Zion
β-Tier
β-Tier
No problem, and good job with Meteor Strike. There is just one last edit needed and that is to reduce its range and effect significantly. Remember that D-tier is the lowest and that 10m converts to 30ft. A more reasonable adjustment would be the shockwave travels 3m and inflicts a knock back of 1m. Alternatively, you would swap those for less range but more knockback power. Your scaling will add 5m to the range with when used so power over range might be a bit more optimal.


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