With the war approaching Reim, Ayero began to feel a sense of unease in more than one way. War was such a foreign feeling to the woman who had always tried to keep out of danger, preferring to occupy herself with her own goals rather than the affairs of whichever country she happened to be in. She didn’t know if finding Neem in Heliohapt had changed her way of thinking—especially considering that the damned man had run off in the chaos to god knows where—but she had gradually begun to let her walls down. Trying to remain impartial to others became more difficult when she had no clear goal to distract her, nothing to reign her in and remind her of her original purpose when she became too invested in something else.
Whenever Ayero thought about the string of events the lead her to where she was now she would lose herself in a tangle of emotions, ending up confused and unsure. Tired of feeling this way, she sought to remedy her mind by going back to something more familiar—solitude. After giving notice to Octavius that she was going on a short trip to visit family, the Fanalis woman headed toward the mountains where she had grown up.
After spending much of her time in the city, Ayero found the lone journey to the north pleasing. Though she had learned to be adaptive, she’d spent nearly five years traveling on her own and found being on her own comforting. At last she felt as if she could think freely without the threat of Kou hanging over her head, stifling her thoughts as it did in the city. Drawing in a deep breath of cold air, Ayero exhaled slowly in an attempt to settle her mind. She wanted her thoughts to flow naturally as forcing them would only leave her more insecure.
Ayero had not lied when she told Octavius that she was going to the northern mountains to visit her family—she intended to do exactly that. If nothing else, she wanted to see her family’s graves before the war got into full swing. She didn’t know how bad things would get or what would happen during it, but knowing that she visited with her family one last time would give her peace of mind. As she made her way towards the village where she was born, Ayero’s heart flutters in anticipation as if she would find something new there. But as she reached the clearing, everything had remained the same from what she had remembered during her last visit. A few of the charred houses had collapsed under the weight of the snow and any evidence of carnage was hidden under several coats of powder. Ayero frowned, she almost felt as if it was unfair. This had once been a quaint little village and now it looked as if there had never been life here at all. But there was nothing she could do about it now, so she moved on towards the clearing where the makeshift graveyard for her family had been made.
Seeing the white covered mounds of dirt was not easy, but Ayero was determined to leave here with peace of mind. As she settled in front of the small alter she had made her heart began to ache. Drawing in a deep breath, Ayero closed her eyes and tried to embrace the pain rather than fight it. She did not think it would be possible to get over their death, nor did she want to. But she did want her thoughts to be peaceful when she thought of her family. After sitting in silence for several long minutes, Ayero finally feels stable enough to open her eyes. Reaching into the pack behind her, she rummages around and retrieves a small wax candle along with a pair of flint rocks. After lighting the candle, she places it gingerly in the makeshift altar she had constructed from the intact wood of one of the collapsed houses. Looking out among the graves decorated with stones she had fished from the bank of a nearby stream, Ayero slowly recalled who was buried where. She was surprised that she had still remembered when Vin pointed out where each sibling and parent lay, but supposed that the information stuck due to its importance in her mind.
”I-I really miss you all.” Ayero’s voice cracked as soon as she started to speak and she inwardly cursed. But there was no one around to see, so she continued unhindered by her usual stubbornness.
”I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for leaving and breaking mom’s heart. I only wanted to find Neem, I only wanted to…” She pauses and takes in a staggered breath. ”…Escape. I had to leave. I couldn’t stay in a place like this forever, isolated from the rest of the world! The world is too vast to be ignored. I’ve learned so much and met many different people, some of whom are very dear to me.”
She pauses after the burst of emotion, somehow not feeling any lighter after her confession. She had left home at 13 with the intention of searching for her brother, to bring him home. But that was a lie. Not a complete lie, but more of an excuse. In the wake of a tragedy she had seen an opportunity to leave and took it, leaving the only home she had ever known without so much as a parting word to her family. She joined a caravan that traveled between Reim and Balbadd and occasionally Heliohapt, ferrying and selling goods from place to place. She told herself the entire time that she was here to seek out her brother, to rescue him from slavery. But in the back of her mind she wanted her freedom more than anything and struggled between enjoying the experiences of her new life and dealing with the guilt of being selfish.
”What…what I did was selfish. I’m a selfish person. But I don’t regret leaving home. It was hard at first and I almost turned back a few times, but it was worth it. I’ve seen the republic of Balbadd, the desert country of Heliohapt and the great city of Remano. I’ve fought bandits and thieves, strange animals and talented fighters in the coliseum. I’ve become a skilled swordswoman and a beast tamer, and even managed to defeat Decimus the Immortal in the coliseum. He’s the strongest, you know. At least that’s what they said. It was the hardest fight of my life, but in the end I won…” She trails, her tone gradually become more casual as if she were talking to her still living family and they were listening.
”I’ve made some friends as well. Diego is a fanalis like me—like us—and is a skilled beast tamer even though he’s only 13. Yakuroro is a wise magician from Imuchakk with a beast companion of his own. Ariella is a magician from Magnostadt—I bet you would all like her. Azix…is a magician as well, one I’ve fought alongside in the coliseum several times. Oh, you would all like Jahangir too. He’s a halfling but has the energy of a pureblood. And then there’s Lagi, Bahir, Minerva, Merrze and Liber…” The last name causes her to give pause and she smiles at the memory of those she’s grown close to.
She opens her mouth to continue speaking but can’t seem to find words, her lower lip trembling as she struggles to unload the emotions that have been building up inside her for years. She allows herself to sink into her feelings, tears of both sorrow and relief at releasing her emotions trailing a wet path down her cheeks. ”All I want is for you to forgive me and be proud of what I’ve become. I understand…I know that it might take time, if it ever comes.” Her voice comes out in a low whisper, shaking with conviction.
[1332/3000]
Whenever Ayero thought about the string of events the lead her to where she was now she would lose herself in a tangle of emotions, ending up confused and unsure. Tired of feeling this way, she sought to remedy her mind by going back to something more familiar—solitude. After giving notice to Octavius that she was going on a short trip to visit family, the Fanalis woman headed toward the mountains where she had grown up.
After spending much of her time in the city, Ayero found the lone journey to the north pleasing. Though she had learned to be adaptive, she’d spent nearly five years traveling on her own and found being on her own comforting. At last she felt as if she could think freely without the threat of Kou hanging over her head, stifling her thoughts as it did in the city. Drawing in a deep breath of cold air, Ayero exhaled slowly in an attempt to settle her mind. She wanted her thoughts to flow naturally as forcing them would only leave her more insecure.
Ayero had not lied when she told Octavius that she was going to the northern mountains to visit her family—she intended to do exactly that. If nothing else, she wanted to see her family’s graves before the war got into full swing. She didn’t know how bad things would get or what would happen during it, but knowing that she visited with her family one last time would give her peace of mind. As she made her way towards the village where she was born, Ayero’s heart flutters in anticipation as if she would find something new there. But as she reached the clearing, everything had remained the same from what she had remembered during her last visit. A few of the charred houses had collapsed under the weight of the snow and any evidence of carnage was hidden under several coats of powder. Ayero frowned, she almost felt as if it was unfair. This had once been a quaint little village and now it looked as if there had never been life here at all. But there was nothing she could do about it now, so she moved on towards the clearing where the makeshift graveyard for her family had been made.
Seeing the white covered mounds of dirt was not easy, but Ayero was determined to leave here with peace of mind. As she settled in front of the small alter she had made her heart began to ache. Drawing in a deep breath, Ayero closed her eyes and tried to embrace the pain rather than fight it. She did not think it would be possible to get over their death, nor did she want to. But she did want her thoughts to be peaceful when she thought of her family. After sitting in silence for several long minutes, Ayero finally feels stable enough to open her eyes. Reaching into the pack behind her, she rummages around and retrieves a small wax candle along with a pair of flint rocks. After lighting the candle, she places it gingerly in the makeshift altar she had constructed from the intact wood of one of the collapsed houses. Looking out among the graves decorated with stones she had fished from the bank of a nearby stream, Ayero slowly recalled who was buried where. She was surprised that she had still remembered when Vin pointed out where each sibling and parent lay, but supposed that the information stuck due to its importance in her mind.
”I-I really miss you all.” Ayero’s voice cracked as soon as she started to speak and she inwardly cursed. But there was no one around to see, so she continued unhindered by her usual stubbornness.
”I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for leaving and breaking mom’s heart. I only wanted to find Neem, I only wanted to…” She pauses and takes in a staggered breath. ”…Escape. I had to leave. I couldn’t stay in a place like this forever, isolated from the rest of the world! The world is too vast to be ignored. I’ve learned so much and met many different people, some of whom are very dear to me.”
She pauses after the burst of emotion, somehow not feeling any lighter after her confession. She had left home at 13 with the intention of searching for her brother, to bring him home. But that was a lie. Not a complete lie, but more of an excuse. In the wake of a tragedy she had seen an opportunity to leave and took it, leaving the only home she had ever known without so much as a parting word to her family. She joined a caravan that traveled between Reim and Balbadd and occasionally Heliohapt, ferrying and selling goods from place to place. She told herself the entire time that she was here to seek out her brother, to rescue him from slavery. But in the back of her mind she wanted her freedom more than anything and struggled between enjoying the experiences of her new life and dealing with the guilt of being selfish.
”What…what I did was selfish. I’m a selfish person. But I don’t regret leaving home. It was hard at first and I almost turned back a few times, but it was worth it. I’ve seen the republic of Balbadd, the desert country of Heliohapt and the great city of Remano. I’ve fought bandits and thieves, strange animals and talented fighters in the coliseum. I’ve become a skilled swordswoman and a beast tamer, and even managed to defeat Decimus the Immortal in the coliseum. He’s the strongest, you know. At least that’s what they said. It was the hardest fight of my life, but in the end I won…” She trails, her tone gradually become more casual as if she were talking to her still living family and they were listening.
”I’ve made some friends as well. Diego is a fanalis like me—like us—and is a skilled beast tamer even though he’s only 13. Yakuroro is a wise magician from Imuchakk with a beast companion of his own. Ariella is a magician from Magnostadt—I bet you would all like her. Azix…is a magician as well, one I’ve fought alongside in the coliseum several times. Oh, you would all like Jahangir too. He’s a halfling but has the energy of a pureblood. And then there’s Lagi, Bahir, Minerva, Merrze and Liber…” The last name causes her to give pause and she smiles at the memory of those she’s grown close to.
She opens her mouth to continue speaking but can’t seem to find words, her lower lip trembling as she struggles to unload the emotions that have been building up inside her for years. She allows herself to sink into her feelings, tears of both sorrow and relief at releasing her emotions trailing a wet path down her cheeks. ”All I want is for you to forgive me and be proud of what I’ve become. I understand…I know that it might take time, if it ever comes.” Her voice comes out in a low whisper, shaking with conviction.
[1332/3000]