Draconis Exal / El Drago [A Rank-Legend]

Name: Draconis Exal/ El Dragon
Tier: A Rank
Type: Brute
Magic Type: Lightning
Species: Dragon
Speed: 12 M/S
Appearance: El Drago's body is dark gray, with the scale plating on the front sides of its body being a sandy brown color. He has a long tail and a set of wings, the wings being a dark purple on the inside. The scales on its body are hard, and makes it easy for El Drago to parry. On his tail, El Drago contains a few silver-colored spikes which are lined up near the end. His claws, which are upon both his hands and feet, are silver-colored as well. El Drago is 10 meters tall.
Passive Traits:

• Hard Scale- El Drago’s hard scales are resilient and protects him from damage. This beast can withstand an additional tier of damage equal to its tier.
  
• High Intelligence- El Drago has lived for a long time, and its intelligence is massive, a legacy from the ancient dragons before our time.
  
• Gale Velocity- El Drago's flight speed is 25 m/s.
  
• Speech- El Drago is able speak.
  
• Sonic Velocity-  El Drago's movement speed is 25 m/s.
  

Active Traits:

• Flick: [D-Tier] [5 Stamina] [1 Post] [Cooldown 5] El Drago flicks his finger at the speed of 10 m/s to inflict D-Tier damage.
  
  
• Claw Swipe: [B-Tier] [15 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain] El Drago swipes out with the claws on either his hands or feet in a direction of his choice at 20 m/s, dealing B-Tier damage. This ability may be sustained to deal damage again on a subsequent post.
  
  
• Treason discharge: [A-Tier] [20 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain] El Drago punches a target and on contact delivers a discharge of bio-electricity at 25 m/s. The discharge extends away from El Drago and can be between fifteen and twenty meters in scale, dealing A-Tier damage to anyone within range.
  
  
• Drago Palm: [A-Tier] [20 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain] El Drago hits a target with an open palm attack at 25 m/s. This attack does A rank damage of crushing both limbs and bones and can be used by either palm of el drago.  If sustained, El drago can attack again
  

Since your beast is the first Legend beast, staff has been discussing any balance issues we see with what could possibly be done.

One of the things that came up in the discussion was whether or not Magic Type should be a passive for the beast, as there is no template that suggests that they automatically receive it. We decided that they will automatically receive it, and you do not need to make a passive for the magic type.

That brought us to the next question, however. Magoi Manipulation is not going to be allowed on beasts for a variety of balance reasons. Please change your passive appropriately.

Second thing: Since beasts cannot reach Omega Tier, we have changed it so that you get another A-Tier passive and Active instead. Feel free to fill those out.

done

Eh, close enough, I'll fix the errors and make sure it looks right. Btw, with Active Traits we aren't going to have sustain costs halve twice. It will remain the same cost each time you use it, since it is already halved from the original costs.


Mind you, Ariella will also have to look over the changes and make sure that they're acceptable before we fully approve it. I just need a second set of eyes on something like a Legendary Beast.


Some of the changes I made: It looks like you copy-pasted your last 2 A-Rank abilities. I'm assuming you wanted one to do paralysis and the other to deal damage, so I made the appropriate changes.

Code:

[center][img]http://i.imgur.com/j6PaHbx.png?1[/img][/center]
[b]Name:[/b] Draconis Exal/ El Dragon
[b]Tier:[/b] A Rank
[b]Type:[/b] Brute
[b]Magic Type:[/b] Lightning
[b]Species:[/b] Dragon
[b]Speed:[/b] 12 M/S
[b]Appearance:[/b] El Drago's body is dark gray, with the scale plating on the front sides of its body being a sandy brown color. He has a long tail and a set of wings, the wings being a dark purple on the inside. The scales on its body are hard, and makes it easy for El Drago to parry. On his tail, El Drago contains a few silver-colored spikes which are lined up near the end. His claws, which are upon both his hands and feet, are silver-colored as well. El Drago is 10 meters tall.
[b]Passive Traits:[/b]
[list]
[*][b]Hard Scale-[/b] El Drago’s hard scales are resilient and protects him from damage. This beast can withstand an additional tier of damage equal to its tier.
[*][b]High Intelligence-[/b] El Drago has lived for a long time, and its intelligence is massive, a legacy from the ancient dragons before our time.
[*][b]Gale Velocity-[/b] El Drago's flight speed is 25 m/s.
[*][b]Speech-[/b] El Drago is able speak.
[*][b]Electroreception-[/b] Using his access to lightning as a medium, El Drago can use electroreception to locate objects around it. Electroreception perceives natural electrical stimuli. El Drago senses the weak bioelectric fields generated by living beings and uses it to locate them. These electric fields are generated by everything living due to the activity of their nerves and muscles.
[/list]
[b]Active Traits:[/b]
[list]
[*][b]Zap: D Tier: 5 Energy: 1 Post Duration: 5 Post Cooldown: [/b]El Drago  sends out a small blast of Lightning magic that's 5 meters in scale and moves at the speed of 10 m/s. The attack travels as far as 10 meters and and inflicts a numbness upon 1 limb of those caught in the blast for 2 posts, reducing movement speed by 5m/s.
[*][b]Shockwave Restriction:  B Tier: 15 Energy Sustained: Sustained Duration+ 5 Post Cooldown: [/b]El Drago can send out a lightning pulse wave in any direction of its choice at 20 m/s  in the form of a cube. The cone is 15 meters in scale and travels as far as 30 meters. Those caught in the cone suffer paralysis of 2 limbs for 3 Posts, with a movement speed reduction of 10 m/s.
[*][b]EL Avalon:  A Tier: 20 Energy: Sustained Duration: Sustained Duration +7 Post Cooldown:[/b] El Drago can fire out two small 1 meter cubes of Lightning magic that's formed and fired at 25 m/s, and travels as far as 40 meters. The cubes explode, firing of electricity in a 12.5 meter diameter sphere at 25 m/s when it makes contact with a target or at will. Each sphere does B-Tier burn damage. When sustained, El Drago can fire two more of these destructive blasts.
[*][b]Drago Estique:  A Tier: 20 Energy: Sustained Duration: Sustained Duration +7 Post Cooldown:[/b] El El Drago can fire out two small 1 meter cubes of Lightning magic that's formed and fired at 25 m/s, and travels as far as 40 meters. The cubes explode, firing of electricity in a 12.5 meter diameter sphere at 25 m/s when it makes contact with a target or at will. Those struck will experience full body paralysis for 4 posts and reduce movement speed to 0 m/s.
[/list]

Edited and fineto!

Approved and added to vault~

Code:

[center][img]http://i.imgur.com/j6PaHbx.png?1[/img][/center]
[b]Name:[/b] Draconis Exal/ El Dragon
[b]Tier:[/b] A Rank
[b]Type:[/b] Brute
[b]Magic Type:[/b] Lightning
[b]Species:[/b] Dragon
[b]Speed:[/b] 12 M/S
[b]Appearance:[/b] El Drago's body is dark gray, with the scale plating on the front sides of its body being a sandy brown color. He has a long tail and a set of wings, the wings being a dark purple on the inside. The scales on its body are hard, and makes it easy for El Drago to parry. On his tail, El Drago contains a few silver-colored spikes which are lined up near the end. His claws, which are upon both his hands and feet, are silver-colored as well. El Drago is 10 meters tall.
[b]Passive Traits:[/b]
[list]
[*][b]Hard Scale-[/b] El Drago’s hard scales are resilient and protects him from damage. This beast can withstand an additional tier of damage equal to its tier.
[*][b]High Intelligence-[/b] El Drago has lived for a long time, and its intelligence is massive, a legacy from the ancient dragons before our time.
[*][b]Gale Velocity-[/b] El Drago's flight speed is 25 m/s.
[*][b]Speech-[/b] El Drago is able speak.
[*][b]Resist Lightning-[/b]  Lightning damage done to El Drago is reduced by a single tier
[/list]
[b]Active Traits:[/b]
[list]
[*][b]Zap: D Tier: 5 Energy: 1 Post Duration: 5 Post Cooldown: [/b]El Drago  sends out a small blast of Lightning magic that's 5 meters in scale and moves at the speed of 10 m/s. The attack travels as far as 10 meters, inflicting numbness upon 1 limb of those caught in the blast for 2 posts, reducing movement speed by 5m/s.
[*][b]Shockwave Restriction:  B Tier: 15 Energy Sustained: Sustained Duration+ 5 Post Cooldown: [/b]El Drago can send out a lightning pulse wave in any direction of its choice at 20 m/s  in the form of a cube. The cone is 15 meters in scale and travels as far as 30 meters. Those caught in the cone suffer paralysis of 2 limbs for 3 Posts, with a movement speed reduction of 10 m/s.
[*][b]EL Avalon:  A Tier: 20 Energy: Sustained Duration: Sustained Duration +7 Post Cooldown:[/b] El Drago can fire out two small 1 meter cubes of Lightning magic that's formed and fired at 25 m/s, and travels as far as 40 meters. The cubes explode, firing off electricity in a 12.5 meter diameter sphere at 25 m/s when it makes contact with a target or at will. Each sphere does B-Tier burn damage. When sustained, El Drago can fire two more of these destructive blasts.
[*][b]Drago Estique:  A Tier: 20 Energy: Sustained Duration: Sustained Duration +7 Post Cooldown:[/b] El Drago can fire out two small 1 meter cubes of Lightning magic that's formed and fired at 25 m/s, and travels as far as 40 meters. The cubes explode, firing off electricity in a 12.5 meter diameter sphere at 25 m/s when it makes contact with a target or at will. Those struck will experience full body paralysis for 4 posts and reduce movement speed to 0 m/s.
[/list]

REvamped....

There were a few mistakes so I made some revisions. Note, scale is the size of the weapon (El Drago) which would be limited by the body part he uses.

Flick: D Tier: 5 Energy: 1 Post Duration: 5 Post Cooldown: El Drago  sends out a small finger flick that's 10 meters in scale and moves at the speed of 10 m/s. The attack travels as far as 5 meters and and inflicts d rank damage

Flick: [D-Tier] [5 Stamina] [1 Post] [Cooldown 5] El Drago flicks his finger at the speed of 10 m/s to inflict D-Tier damage.

Code:

[b]Flick:[/b] [i][D-Tier] [5 Stamina] [1 Post] [Cooldown 5][/i] El Drago flicks his finger at the speed of 10 m/s to inflict D-Tier damage.

Claw Swipe:  B Tier: 15 Energy Sustained: Sustained Duration+ 5 Post Cooldown: El Drago can send out a claw attack between its hands or feet in direction of its choice at 20 m/s. The attack is 10 meters in scale and travels as far as 15 meters. The attack deals B rank Damage and can be sustained.

Claw Swipe: [B-Tier] [15 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain] El Drago swipes out with the claws on either his hands or feet in a direction of his choice at 20 m/s, dealing D-Tier damage. This ability may be sustained to deal damage again on a subsequent post.

Code:

[b]Claw Swipe:[/b] [i][B-Tier] [15 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain][/i] El Drago swipes out with the claws on either his hands or feet in a direction of his choice at 20 m/s, dealing D-Tier damage. This ability may be sustained to deal damage again on a subsequent post.

Treason discharge:  A Tier: 20 Energy: Sustained Duration: Sustained Duration +7 Post Cooldown: El Drago can fire out a cone of bio electricity in any direction of its choice that's 10 to 25 meters in size and fired at 25 m/s, and travels as far as 20 meters. The cone does damage of A rank 3rd degree burns. When sustained, El Drago can fire one more of this destructive blasts.

As El Drago is a brute beast, he would not be able to directly fire a projectile. Discharging bio-electricity would require the effect taking place on contact. I.E., El Drago slamming his fist into the ground, discharging the electricity into a shockwave around him. The effect of the discharge would be up to you, but without a point-of-impact it wouldn't be able to discharge it. Keeping this in mind, I tweaked this ability a bit.

Treason discharge: [A-Tier] [20 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain] El Drago punches a target, delivering a discharge of bio-electricity at 25 m/s. The discharge extends away from El Drago and can be between fifteen and twenty meters in scale, dealing A-Tier damage to anyone within range.

Code:

[b]Treason discharge:[/b] [i][A-Tier] [20 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain][/i] El Drago punches a target, delivering a discharge of bio-electricity at 25 m/s. The discharge extends away from El Drago and can be between fifteen and twenty meters in scale, dealing A-Tier damage to anyone within range.

Drago Palm:  A Tier: 20 Energy: Sustained Duration: Sustained Duration +7 Post Cooldown: El Drago can fire a 10 meter open palm attack at 25 m/s, that travels as far as 20 meters. This attack does A rank damage of crushing both limbs and bones and can be used by ether palm of el drago.  If sustained, El drago can attack again

Drago Palm: [A-Tier] [20 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain] El Drago hits a target with an open palm attack at 25 m/s. This attack does A rank damage of crushing both limbs and bones and can be used by either palm of el drago.  If sustained, El drago can attack again.

Code:

[b]Drago Palm:[/b] [i][A-Tier] [20 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain][/i] El Drago hits a target with an open palm attack at 25 m/s. This attack does A rank damage of crushing both limbs and bones and can be used by either palm of el drago.  If sustained, El drago can attack again.

If these look good, let me know.

What is your reasoning behind claw swipe. its a b rank move doing D rank damage

I believe it was simply a mistype, fixed below:

Code:

[b]Claw Swipe:[/b] [i][B-Tier] [15 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain][/i] El Drago swipes out with the claws on either his hands or feet in a direction of his choice at 20 m/s, dealing B-Tier damage. This ability may be sustained to deal damage again on a subsequent post.

the edits were put in

Approved and added to vault~

Code:

[center][img]http://i.imgur.com/j6PaHbx.png?1[/img][/center]
[b]Name:[/b] Draconis Exal/ El Dragon
[b]Tier:[/b] A Rank
[b]Type:[/b] Brute
[b]Magic Type:[/b] Lightning
[b]Species:[/b] Dragon
[b]Speed:[/b] 12 M/S
[b]Appearance:[/b] El Drago's body is dark gray, with the scale plating on the front sides of its body being a sandy brown color. He has a long tail and a set of wings, the wings being a dark purple on the inside. The scales on its body are hard, and makes it easy for El Drago to parry. On his tail, El Drago contains a few silver-colored spikes which are lined up near the end. His claws, which are upon both his hands and feet, are silver-colored as well. El Drago is 10 meters tall.
[b]Passive Traits:[/b]
[list]
[*][b]Hard Scale-[/b] El Drago’s hard scales are resilient and protects him from damage. This beast can withstand an additional tier of damage equal to its tier.
[*][b]High Intelligence-[/b] El Drago has lived for a long time, and its intelligence is massive, a legacy from the ancient dragons before our time.
[*][b]Gale Velocity-[/b] El Drago's flight speed is 25 m/s.
[*][b]Speech-[/b] El Drago is able speak.
[*][b]Sonic Velocity-[/b]  El Drago's movement speed is 25 m/s.
[/list]
[b]Active Traits:[/b]
[list]
[*][b]Flick:[/b] [i][D-Tier] [5 Stamina] [1 Post] [Cooldown 5][/i] El Drago flicks his finger at the speed of 10 m/s to inflict D-Tier damage.

[*][b]Claw Swipe:[/b] [i][B-Tier] [15 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain][/i] El Drago swipes out with the claws on either his hands or feet in a direction of his choice at 20 m/s, dealing B-Tier damage. This ability may be sustained to deal damage again on a subsequent post.

[*][b]Treason discharge:[/b] [i][A-Tier] [20 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain][/i] El Drago punches a target and on contact delivers a discharge of bio-electricity at 25 m/s. The discharge extends away from El Drago and can be between fifteen and twenty meters in scale, dealing A-Tier damage to anyone within range.

[*][b]Drago Palm:[/b] [i][A-Tier] [20 Stamina] [Sustained] [Cooldown 5 + Sustain][/i] El Drago hits a target with an open palm attack at 25 m/s. This attack does A rank damage of crushing both limbs and bones and can be used by either palm of el drago.  If sustained, El drago can attack again
[/list]