You bumped the wrong thing, but that's fine.
After some very in-depth conversation, I and the other staff members have concluded that we do not feel as if we can approve this training as it is.
The reason for this is that you haven't shown Lestica growing during the duration of the thread. You have talked about love and life to an extent, but it isn't enough.
Furthermore, the bulk of the training thread requires to consist of actual improvement and growing. While this is a beautiful piece of writing -one of your best, may I add- it cannot be approved. You spent about 194 words telling us how Lestica had grown as a Magician, but you didn't actually show us.
In order for this to be approved, my suggestion is that you take these two paragraphs and expand on them:
"The week of training was arduous and waking up in the wee hours of the morning to meditate was a test of mental fortitude. Mornings weren't always her thing but if it meant learning something she couldn't before then she'd do whatever it took. Between the gardening and Meditating, Lestacia could feel her competency for Magic growing intensely. During this week she was able to focus on creating two different types of magic combination. It was the first time in a long time she had been focused on her studies like always.
The Magoi that was saturated into this place made it easier to cast spells, and such spells were released. She casted and created. Theorized and hypothesized, until finally the fruits of her training produced something sweeter than any honey. She took advantage of the fact that lightning is a product of heat and used it to her advantage. She set weeds ablaze, and choked the life out of harmful thigns to the garden, she meditated amongst the lillies and became one with Nature. She'd cast more and more magic Cleansing the garden of it's impurities and imperfections everyday for the next week."
Go into detail about Lest's meditation. Show her initial struggle to wake up and to stay concentrated on meditation. But then progress into Lest waking up easier and easier and finding more peace and quiet whenever she meditates.
Then show her getting up to study magic. Have Lest discover those two new types of Magic. Don't tell but show us how Lest is pouring over her studies - show us her trying to understand how these magics work together. Show us her struggling to come up with theories and ideas for her magic. Then, finally, give us a mental picture of Lest finally figuring it out. Show us her discovering something - connecting the dots. End with Lestica making new spells and magic combinations.
I also recommend that you include the Gardener. I enjoy her character and she seems like a very good mentor. Give the reader more of this woman and show her nudging Lestica along.
While it's not required that you do what I suggested, it may be of some use to you. More importantly, I am certain that you'll be able to come up with even more of this beautiful piece. I want to read Lestica's struggles and empathize with her. I'll be eagerly waiting on the edits to your specialization. You're almost there!
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