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Red Belt of Yunyuan

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1Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Red Belt of Yunyuan 02/11/14, 01:26 pm

Jian

Jian
β-Tier
β-Tier

Name: Liuxingyu [Meteor Shower]
Tier: C
Cost: 20 Stamina
Weapon Type: -
Class: Offensive
Range: 5 meters
Duration: Instant
Cool-Down: 3 posts
Description: Pulling a series of throwing knives from his inner pocket, Jian spins rapidly on his heel, before loosing ten knives at 20 m/s, doing D rank damage to anyone caught inside a five meter radius. 



Last edited by Jian on 03/11/14, 03:01 pm; edited 4 times in total


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2Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 02/11/14, 03:36 pm

Vardreth

Vardreth
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

Liuxingyu [Meteor Shower]:
I've approved this ability as-is, but you are aware that the maximum range on it is 15 meters, right? You currently have it at 5, which can be approved, but that's a self-nerf you're putting on your ability. This would essentially mean that your knives could only deal the damage in a radius directly beneath you, since you jump 5 meters into the air.
-Ariella, I need you to make a judgement call on this ability. While I note that abilities with smoke screens and whatnot have been approved without having a subsequent weapon, will knives and the like be approved as well without having a corresponding weapon?


Jiefang [The Liberation]:
This ability isn't defensive. Defensive abilities are either Parry abilities or blocking abilities if you are using a Shield-type item or are creating some sort of shield-like environmental object (such as stomping ground for Fanalis in order to create earth shields). With your dodging, of course it would go by Reaction Timing/Speed rules. Since you aren't bursting speed here for your dodge (you can only attack that burst of speed to 1 action in an ability), I am assuming that this is a situational ability and you must dodge an attack first to use it (As your dodge of the attack is part of the ability explanation). The supplementary action, I see, is disarming an opponent, which has the burst speed associated with it. It's using range for scale for some reason, so I'll switch that in the below doctoring of the ability. The only thing left is to determine whether you want it to be an unarmed action or an action associated with a weapon. You cannot have both, as each ability must be chosen to go alongside 1 weapon type, whether that be Body, Sword, Cutting Weapon (As you have), Polearm (Spears, Glaives, Bo) etc. etc.

The rules for defensive abilities and reaction timings are found here:
Defensive abilities
Reaction Timing


Code:
[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Jiefang [The Liberation]
[b]Tier: [/b]C
[b]Cost: [/b]20 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: [/b]Body
[b]Class: [/b]Supplementary
[b]Range: -[/b]
[b]Duration: [/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]3 posts
[b]Description: [/b]At a moment where an opponent attacks Jian with a lower technique, Jian simply dodges it and, if using a weapon or magical staff, delivers a strong enough blow to the tool that causes it to go flying away off up to 5 meters, disarming them at 20 m/s.[/size]


Huoshan kou [The Crater]
The impact area must be written by scale. If you would like it to deal large-area impact that harms multiple bones, please edit what I've edited in the approved area. Otherwise, the scale is assumed to be the size of your hand, not the number of bones you break.


Hainen Dao:
I put the duration of the effects of flames in the description. Duration in the ability template refers solely to how many posts it lasts or whether or not you can split the actions up/sustain the action throughout an entire post, or whether the action is a 1 time instantaneous thing.


Approved:

Tufu [The Butcher], Liuxingyu [Meteor Shower], Huoshan kou [The Crater], Hainen Dao.

Code:

[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Tufu [The Butcher]
[b]Tier: [/b]C
[b]Cost: [/b]20 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: [/b]Cutting Weapon
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive
[b]Range: [/b]Close
[b]Duration: [/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]3 posts
[b]Description: [/b]The user's attack moves at 20 m/s, through the use of their blade. If the strike lands, it deals C-tier damage to the opponent.[/size]


[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Liuxingyu [Meteor Shower]
[b]Tier: [/b]C
[b]Cost: [/b]20 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: -[/b]
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive/Supplementary
[b]Range: [/b]5 meters
[b]Duration: [/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]3 posts
[b]Description: [/b]Pulling a series of throwing knives from his inner pocket, Jian jumps 5 meters into the air before loosing his handfuls of knives at 20 m/s, doing D rank damage to anyone caught inside a five meter radius. [/size]


[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Huoshan kou [The Crater]
[b]Tier: [/b]B
[b]Cost: [/b]30 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: [/b]Body
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive
[b]Range: [/b]20 meters
[b]Duration: [/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]5 posts
[b]Description: [/b]Jian strikes with the bare of his palm at 25 m/s, delivering a very strong blow to his victim. Dealing B-Tier damage, it will shatter the bone that it hits.[/size]


[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Hainen Dao
[b]Tier: [/b]B
[b]Cost: [/b]30 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: -[/b]
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive
[b]Range: [/b]20 meters
[b]Duration:[/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]5 posts
[b]Description: [/b]Throwing a vial of highly flammable liquid at an opponent at 25 m/s, Jian ignites a victim in bright blue flames that burn off any non-armour clothes and delivers B-Tier damage through second degree burns. As the flames ignite on the victim, they will set fire to anything around them, delivering searing pain but no real damage as the lack of the original contact material means the flame will quickly subside after two posts.[/size]


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3Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 02/11/14, 03:50 pm

Jian

Jian
β-Tier
β-Tier

Uhh.... what?

Okay, I just don't understand what you're saying at all. 

1 - Liuxingyu | are you asking me to list the range as 5 meter diameter? I'm not allowed to list range as 15 m cos that's in one direction, not in every direction. In C rank scale, it says AOE attacks are supposed to be 5 meters in radius and yet you're telling me that it's wrong. 

2 -why in the name of god did you list something's quote you say you didn't approve.

3 - "Huoshan kou [The Crater]
The impact area must be written by scale. If you would like it to deal large-area impact that harms multiple bones, please edit what I've edited in the approved area. Otherwise, the scale is assumed to be the size of your hand, not the number of bones you break."

The hell am I supposed to edit in? If the entire human body is around 6 foot tall, the usual AOE would permanently cripple almost every part of it at B rank. What am I supposed to compare it to?



4 - You have said the EXACT OPPOSITE of what Yaku has said when it comes to duration. He said that it's how long the character's action lasts (i.e. he throws the liquid in one post then does nothing else, it's instant) but you say that it's how long the effect of what you do lasts. Which one is right? 


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4Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 02/11/14, 04:09 pm

Vardreth

Vardreth
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

1 - Liuxingyu | are you asking me to list the range as 5 meter diameter? I'm not allowed to list range as 15 m cos that's in one direction, not in every direction. In C rank scale, it says AOE attacks are supposed to be 5 meters in radius and yet you're telling me that it's wrong. 

Range is a descriptor used for saying how far your ability may travel. Scale is a descriptor for the area your attack works in. If you throw a circle of knives that effect a 5 meter area, they can still travel the 15 meters to land at the area you want to strike. If you want to have your ability's maximum distance traveled be 5 meters, that's fine, but you're choosing to make yourself weaker.


2 -why in the name of god did you list something's quote you say you didn't approve.

I made edits to Jiefeng, which is the ability I'm assuming you're talking about. The reason I did so was because there were minor things in it that I could edit in to save you some trouble. While I don't *have* to save you trouble, and I could just tell you what's wrong and have you fix every little mistake, I generally like to make it easier for people. If you dislike this, I will put your name on a list of people I do not do this for. That is up to you, though. The code is there so that you can copy that and post a reply after editing what I edited. It's simply to make it easier for you, and nothing else.


3 - "Huoshan kou [The Crater]
The impact area must be written by scale. If you would like it to deal large-area impact that harms multiple bones, please edit what I've edited in the approved area. Otherwise, the scale is assumed to be the size of your hand, not the number of bones you break."

The hell am I supposed to edit in? If the entire human body is around 6 foot tall, the usual AOE would permanently cripple almost every part of it at B rank. What am I supposed to compare it to?

And? If it destroys their entire body, then it destroys their entire body. Use the metric scale to determine the area of impact if you want to limit how much destruction it does, or say 5 meters or something like that. If the destruction is within the scale for the tier, then its good to go. You don't have to, though. You can leave it as is, and assume it just deals damage to the area of impact. It's what I do for all of my physical attacks, since I personally think it would be strange for a human's physical attack to cripple the entire body of an opponent. But if it fits the ability guidelines, it fits the ability guidelines.


4 - You have said the EXACT OPPOSITE of what Yaku has said when it comes to duration. He said that it's how long the character's action lasts (i.e. he throws the liquid in one post then does nothing else, it's instant) but you say that it's how long the effect of what you do lasts. Which one is right?

Yakuroro was confused on that matter. I spoke to Ariella and confirmed, which you can find in the post below this, that Duration is how long the ability lasts, and that the effect is separate. My apologies, but everyone makes mistakes. Any mistakes found to have been made in the future on any gradings can be fixed retroactively, which the staff will do since they have access to the vaults. If you ever see discrepancies, feel free to raise your concerns. We will be happy to work them out and figure out what the correct way is. Pm me any edits you believe need to be made to your prior spells, and I will work with them in order to make sure that this is reflected in your ability.

(Check for the ruling on his spell, Flood Fill, here: https://magiworld.forumotion.com/t2436-yaku-s-painful-spell-revamp#11657)


*Edit: I did not say it's how long the effect lasts. I said it's how long you are performing the action that inflicts the effect. For example, a 2 punch ability could either A) be instant, in which case the 2 punches happen at either the same time or one after the other, or it is B) 1 post, in which case you can start at the beginning of your post with 1 punch but have stuff between before you do your 2nd punch or lastly C) Sustained, in which case you can do the attack again in subsequent posts. Any abilities that impart a Status Effect has the duration of the status effect within the Description of the ability. Otherwise, every attack that deals damage would have that damage go away after the duration is up. Duration does not cover the length of time a the results of the ability cause.



Last edited by Garret on 02/11/14, 04:16 pm; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Clarification on the last point)


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5Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 02/11/14, 04:20 pm

Jian

Jian
β-Tier
β-Tier

Okay, thanks, that makes a lot more sense.

Also, edited Meteor Shower. If Ari says I can't use throwing knives for it, I'll simply find another way to do it.


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6Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 02/11/14, 04:36 pm

Vardreth

Vardreth
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

Jiefang [The Liberation] still needs a decision made on your part. Do you want it to be with a weapon, or with your bare hands?

Huoshan kou [The Crater] still explains that it will break 7 ribs. Please put in a scale of how big the area of damage is on the attack. An 8 cm radius of damage would probably be about the right level for what you are looking for.


I just realized Hainen Dao was lacking a scale as well. (Depending on what Ari thinks about fire bombs and dealing damage, I think this will be changed back to the supplementary you had it on as was your initial thing. I figured if smoke bombs were okay, firebombs would be okay to deal damage. I might be wrong though.)

Code:
[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Hainen Dao
[b]Tier: [/b]B
[b]Cost: [/b]30 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: -[/b]
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive
[b]Range: [/b]20 meters
[b]Duration:[/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]5 posts
[b]Description: [/b]Throwing a vial of highly flammable liquid at an opponent at 25 m/s, Jian ignites a victim in bright blue flames that burn off any non-armour clothes and delivers B-Tier damage through second degree burns. As the flames ignite on the victim, they will set fire to anything around them, delivering searing pain but no real damage as the lack of the original contact material means the flame will quickly subside after two posts.[/size]


Some imagery just to make sure you're squared away by the differences of Range/Scale:

My Masterpieces:


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7Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 02/11/14, 05:13 pm

Vardreth

Vardreth
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

Alrighty, so this is the final on the abilities. I will have 2 sections: Limbo (Needs Ari's look-over because I'm not too sure on the rulings for it), and Approved. Yakuroro has explained to me that scale isn't allowed for destruction of body parts, and it just goes by the scale of the weapon and where the weapon strikes. So it would be a case-by-case basis and a judgement call once the stricken area is revealed (like mentioned earlier in CBox, it's about 8 cm. anyways).

The fan of knives is in limbo for 2 reasons; 1) I'm not sure if you can even use knives without an actual weapon and 2) You throw multiple knives in order to make it an 'aoe', but when you have multiple separate items they are normally supposed to follow the Amount rules for damage diffusion.

Firebomb is in limbo because I'm not sure if you can have an offensive fire tech. It might be limited to the supplementary effect you had on it earlier XD. Or it might be denied regardless. Not too sure yet.


Limbo:

Code:

[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Liuxingyu [Meteor Shower]
[b]Tier: [/b]C
[b]Cost: [/b]20 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: -[/b]
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive/Supplementary
[b]Range: [/b]5 meters
[b]Duration: [/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]3 posts
[b]Description: [/b]Pulling a series of throwing knives from his inner pocket, Jian jumps 5 meters into the air before loosing his handfuls of knives at 20 m/s, doing D rank damage to anyone caught inside a five meter radius. [/size]


[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Hainen Dao
[b]Tier: [/b]B
[b]Cost: [/b]30 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: -[/b]
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive
[b]Range: [/b]20 meters
[b]Duration:[/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]5 posts
[b]Description: [/b]Throwing a vial of highly flammable liquid at an opponent at 25 m/s, Jian ignites a victim in bright blue flames that burn off any non-armour clothes and delivers B-Tier damage through second degree burns. As the flames ignite on the victim, they will set fire to anything around them, delivering searing pain but no real damage as the lack of the original contact material means the flame will quickly subside after two posts.[/size]


Approved for training:
Code:

[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Tufu [The Butcher]
[b]Tier: [/b]C
[b]Cost: [/b]20 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: [/b]Cutting Weapon
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive
[b]Range: [/b]Close
[b]Duration: [/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]3 posts
[b]Description: [/b]The user's attack moves at 20 m/s, through the use of their blade. If the strike lands, it deals C-tier damage to the opponent.[/size]


[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Huoshan kou [The Crater]
[b]Tier: [/b]B
[b]Cost: [/b]30 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: [/b]Body
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive
[b]Range: [/b]20 meters
[b]Duration: [/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]5 posts
[b]Description: [/b]Jian strikes with the bare of his palm at 25 m/s, delivering a very strong blow to his victim. Dealing B-Tier damage, it will shatter the bone that it hits.[/size]


[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Jiefang [The Liberation]
[b]Tier: [/b]C
[b]Cost: [/b]20 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: [/b]Body
[b]Class: [/b]Supplementary
[b]Range: [/b]Close
[b]Duration: [/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]3 posts
[b]Description: [/b]At a moment where an opponent attacks Jian with a technique, Jian simply dodges it and delivers a strong enough blow at 20 m/s to the tool that causes it to go flying away by 5 meters, disarming them.[/size]


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8Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 02/11/14, 08:15 pm

Jian

Jian
β-Tier
β-Tier


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9Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 02/11/14, 08:39 pm

Vardreth

Vardreth
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

Jeifang approved. Adding it to your Vault.


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10Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 02/11/14, 08:51 pm

Ariella Negri

Ariella Negri
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

Liuxingyu [Meteor Shower] - you would need to purchase throwing daggers

Hainen Dao - how are you igniting this? if you intending to do burn DAMAGE, that is fine, it would not, however, have the fire EFFECT without it being supplementary as well.


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Red Belt of Yunyuan  Ari%20Sigs_zpsn7c2bhju

11Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 03/11/14, 12:20 pm

Jian

Jian
β-Tier
β-Tier

Bumped.

Incidentally, for the firebomb one, I was intending the liquid to be one of those chemicals so heavily potent that sets alight the moment it has fuel (i.e. the oxygen in air). Sort of like liquid lithium, except... you know, working off of oxygen and not water.


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12Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 03/11/14, 02:41 pm

Ariella Negri

Ariella Negri
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

Name: Liuxingyu [Meteor Shower] - you would need to list the amount of throwing knives used, and make sure to follow he amount guidelines.


approved for training:
Code:

[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Hainen Dao
[b]Tier: [/b]B
[b]Cost: [/b]30 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: -[/b]
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive
[b]Range: [/b]20 meters
[b]Duration:[/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]5 posts
[b]Description: [/b]Throwing a vial of highly flammable liquid at an opponent at 25 m/s, Jian ignites a victim in bright blue flames that burn off any non-armour clothes and delivers B-Tier damage through second degree burns. As the flames ignite on the victim, they will set fire to anything around them, delivering searing pain but no real damage as the lack of the original contact material means the flame will quickly subside after two posts.[/size]


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Red Belt of Yunyuan  Ari%20Sigs_zpsn7c2bhju

13Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 03/11/14, 03:12 pm

Jian

Jian
β-Tier
β-Tier

Bump


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14Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 03/11/14, 03:28 pm

Ariella Negri

Ariella Negri
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

reworded this slightly, see if you approve of the changes

Code:

[size=12][b]Name: [/b][/size]Liuxingyu [Meteor Shower]
[size=12][b]Tier: [/b]C[/size]
[size=12][b]Cost: [/b]20 Stamina[/size]
[size=12][b]Weapon Type: -[/b][/size]
[size=12][b]Class: [/b]Offensive[/size]
[size=12][b]Range: [/b]5 meters[/size]
[size=12][b]Duration: [/b]Instant[/size]
[size=12][b]Cool-Down: [/b]3 posts[/size]
[size=12][b]Description: [/b]Pulling a series of throwing knives from his inner pocket, Jian spins rapidly on his heel, before loosing ten knives at 20 m/s, doing D rank damage to anyone caught inside a five meter radius of himself. [/size]


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Red Belt of Yunyuan  Ari%20Sigs_zpsn7c2bhju

15Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 03/11/14, 03:33 pm

Jian

Jian
β-Tier
β-Tier

sure. y not?


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16Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 03/11/14, 10:40 pm

Jian

Jian
β-Tier
β-Tier


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17Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 04/11/14, 02:16 am

Vardreth

Vardreth
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

The following are approved:


Code:

[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Tufu [The Butcher]
[b]Tier: [/b]C
[b]Cost: [/b]20 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: [/b]Cutting Weapon
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive
[b]Range: [/b]Close
[b]Duration: [/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]3 posts
[b]Description: [/b]The user's attack moves at 20 m/s, through the use of their blade. If the strike lands, it deals C-tier damage to the opponent.[/size]


[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Liuxingyu [Meteor Shower]
[b]Tier: [/b]C
[b]Cost: [/b]20 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: -[/b]
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive
[b]Range: [/b]5 meters
[b]Duration: [/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]3 posts
[b]Description: [/b]Pulling a series of throwing knives from his inner pocket, Jian spins rapidly on his heel, before loosing ten knives at 20 m/s, doing D rank damage to anyone caught inside a five meter radius of himself. [/size]


[size=12][b]Name: [/b]Hainen Dao
[b]Tier: [/b]B
[b]Cost: [/b]30 Stamina
[b]Weapon Type: -[/b]
[b]Class: [/b]Offensive
[b]Range: [/b]20 meters
[b]Duration:[/b]Instant
[b]Cool-Down: [/b]5 posts
[b]Description: [/b]Throwing a vial of highly flammable liquid at an opponent at 25 m/s, Jian ignites a victim in bright blue flames that burn off any non-armour clothes and delivers B-Tier damage through second degree burns. As the flames ignite on the victim, they will set fire to anything around them, delivering searing pain but no real damage as the lack of the original contact material means the flame will quickly subside after two posts.[/size]


Missing 8 words in your last post for Huoshan Kou.


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18Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 04/11/14, 09:36 am

Jian

Jian
β-Tier
β-Tier

not sure how, but oh well - added around 15, so bump.


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19Red Belt of Yunyuan  Empty Re: Red Belt of Yunyuan 04/11/14, 10:09 am

Vardreth

Vardreth
Ω-Tier
Ω-Tier

All have been approved~


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