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??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1

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1??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Empty ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 on 14/06/18, 11:38 pm

Ja'Ro

Ja'Ro
D-Tier
D-Tier
??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 E700673d74fe99d9abf92a019fb3cb02ba020130_hq
Float
Tier: D
Class: Warrior
Type: Defensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: vision must not be obscured or hindered.
Scaling: Hits
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10
Description:

    Helping to learn their fighting style and movements, Ja'Ro watches his opponent. Seemingly letting his guard down. As they attack he quickly dodge every would be attack. More strikes can be dodged when scaling it involved. A single D tier amount of damage can be evaded, unless scaling is involved.



Last edited by Ja'Ro on 30/06/18, 11:54 pm; edited 3 times in total


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2??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Empty Re: ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 on 17/06/18, 03:40 am

Ja'Ro

Ja'Ro
D-Tier
D-Tier
??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Original
Bouncing Whirlwind
Tier: D
Class: Warrior
Type: Offensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Must be used after dodge, the setting, and the handstand.
Scaling: Adds 1 Tier of Damage
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10
Description:

    Ja'Ro dodges his opponents attack by quickly backing away. Using the momentum he has gained, he sets, and does a handstand. Ja'Ro combines these factors to kick his opponent one time. This attack also works well against groups. This attack deals a single tier of damage.



Last edited by Ja'Ro on 22/03/19, 06:21 am; edited 6 times in total


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3??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Empty Re: ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 on 19/06/18, 01:58 am

Ja'Ro

Ja'Ro
D-Tier
D-Tier
??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 AGjJV7h

Eye of the Storm
Tier: D
Class: Warrior
Type: Supplementary
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Can only be used after opponents initial attack
Scaling: Hits
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10
Description:

    Deflecting his opponents attacks. Ja'Ro then uses their momentum against them or whatever part of them he links to. He presses a single pressure point, which makes the limb useless for a single post. Only affects the person’s movement speed if they are a Fanalis or someone with the Speed Trait. Anyone who doesn’t have a speed trait would be unaffected.



Last edited by Ja'Ro on 22/03/19, 06:27 am; edited 3 times in total


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4??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Empty Re: ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 on 20/06/18, 11:22 pm

Just like the sword techniques, first thing I'm noticing is that D-Tier skills can't be dual types. They can only be offensive, defensive, or supplementary because if they are two types, the damage they are dealing, effect they are causing, or damage they are blocking is halved.

All offensive skills are missing the damage being dealt.

All skills are missing a set range in the description. Here's a few basic examples:


  • The enemy must be 5 meters away.
  • Player A deals D-Tier damage to anyone within 10 meters of himself.


Also, speed does not exist as it did before. In fact speed doesn't really exist in terms of abilities (save for light or lightning magic possible being instantaneous). So, for Eye of the Storm, the only speed you'd probably be decreasing is someone's movement speed, which is not their ability speed. Furthermore, the only race to have tiered speeds are Fanalis or Magicians (if they were flying). Also, for Eye of the Storm, you would only be able to hit a single pressure point as that is how many hits a D-Tier attack can have. You should probably make the scaling be hits instead of AoE (which doesn't make sense for a close quarters skill anyway).

TLDR Version

Change the following:


  • D-Tier skills can only be one Type
  • You are missing a set range in your description
  • You are missing the damage dealt, damage blocked, or supplementary effect tier in your description
  • You have 6 abilities up for grading (three here and three in Sword Technique Lvl 1. You are only allowed 5 free abilities when making a new character: 4 D-Tier and 1 C-Tier. You are free to make any of them C-Tier, but one of the six skills you must train.


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??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 3oCk1sb

??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 7kZv0Du
??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 AmCJaPN ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Ltg0RVb ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 VjD0Py3

Trait Points: 4/11 | SoS: 1
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5??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Empty Re: ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 on 25/06/18, 04:35 pm

Ja'Ro

Ja'Ro
D-Tier
D-Tier
edited


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6??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Empty Re: ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 on 29/06/18, 01:48 pm


Float
Requirement/Drawback: A better requirement/drawback would be that vision must not be obscured or hindered.
Description: Include that you only dodge a single instance of D-Tier damage unless you scale. The important part to note is the total damage you are able to dodge.


Bouncing Whirlwind
Range: The range can only be Close.
Description: Please change “Ja'Ro combines these factors to kick his opponent several times.” to read “Ja'Ro combines these factors to kick his opponent one time.” and delete “At this Tier there is only a single kick.” It’s contradictory to say you perform several kicks when you can only perform a single kick at this tier. Furthermore, include the damage dealt to the opponent upon a successful hit.


Just to be clear, the dodging of an attack is a requirement for the ability, but does not guarantee the dodge will be successful. This ability is offensive, not defensive, making the entire requirement to use this ability the dodge, the setting, and the handstand.


Eye of the Storm
Range: This can only be Close
Description: Please change “He then proceeds to tag several pressure points lowering their speed by a single tier.” to read “He tags a single pressure point, which makes the limb useless for a single post.” Something to mention here is that if this ability decreases someone’s speed, it would only affect the person’s movement speed if they were a Fanalis or someone with the Speed Trait. Anyone who doesn’t have a speed trait would be unaffected.

Also, just like Bouncing Whirlwind, the deflecting of the attack is a requirement for the ability, but does not guarantee the deflect will be successful. This ability is supplementary, not defensive, making the requirement to use this ability to deflect the opponent’s attack.


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??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 3oCk1sb

??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 7kZv0Du
??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 AmCJaPN ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Ltg0RVb ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 VjD0Py3

Trait Points: 4/11 | SoS: 1
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7??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Empty Re: ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 on 22/03/19, 06:28 am

Ja'Ro

Ja'Ro
D-Tier
D-Tier
Edits made


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8??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Empty Re: ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 on 23/03/19, 01:56 pm

Float - This ability can't be approved because its wording suggests its an auto-dodge that works like a passive when activated. Abilities are specific actions, not vague passives or video game skills that work just because thats the way the systems programmed.

Float can be a sway or a step intended to help dodge incoming attacks, but using it does not successfully dodge every incoming attack so such wording needs removed/changing.

Bouncing Whirlwind - This is still two abilities in one. It has a dodge and an attack. If the dodge isn't part of the ability but just the requirement it should be more clear in the description that dodging isn't the ability itself.

Eye of the Storm
- Two abilities in one again. A deflection is a parry and that is defensive. Pressure point striking is supplementary. The supplementary side has two effects too. Making a limb useless and debuffing speed.

The defensive aspect is bad because it assumes the system will auto parry anything. He needs to explain what sort of movement he is making to parry. Is it a sweep of his arm? Is he thrusting towards an attack and then batting it aside the moment he connects?

You can't just say, "Character dodges" or "Character parries", that assumes the system is going to make your action successful no matter the circumstances. But this just isn't the case. You execute a very specific action with the intended purpose of dodging/parrying, but if your parry is a horizontal sweep, it isn't going to be effective against horizontal slashes or an attack that comes from below your feet.


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??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 3oCk1sb

??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 7kZv0Du
??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 AmCJaPN ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Ltg0RVb ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 VjD0Py3

Trait Points: 4/11 | SoS: 1
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9??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Empty Re: ??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 on 27/03/19, 01:13 pm

Zion

Zion
β-Tier
β-Tier
For future apps, please consolidate all of your abilities into one post. It is very tedious for staff to pull the code if they are in separate posts. Even adding code boxes into separately posted abilities still creates extra effort staff have to make. It's also extra effort on your part to send three separate posts. So it would save us all a little trouble in the long run.

As for your abilities, a lot of the key issues haven't been addressed so I'm going to edit them for you and give you examples of how to refine them. You can just use these edits as examples and make your own, or if you like them just let me know and they can be considered approved.

??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 E700673d74fe99d9abf92a019fb3cb02ba020130_hq
Float
Tier: D
Class: Warrior
Type: Defensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Vision must not be obscured or hindered. Footing must be sound
Scaling: Hits
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10
Description:

    Ja'Ro watches his opponent as he remains light on his feet. Seemingly letting his guard down. As they attack, he performs a single powerful step and then focuses all of its energy to quickly sway in any direction to avoid a blow. The step can be controlled to only shift Ja'ro's body while staying in place or to carry him up to 2m away. The swaying dodge is executed in swift succession when scaled.

Code:
[center][img]https://pa1.narvii.com/5903/e700673d74fe99d9abf92a019fb3cb02ba020130_hq.gif[/img][/center]
[center][b]Float[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] D
[b]Class:[/b] Warrior
[b]Type:[/b] Defensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] Vision must not be obscured or hindered. Footing must be sound
[b]Scaling:[/b] Hits
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool Down:[/b] 1
[b]Cost:[/b] 10
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]
Ja'Ro watches his opponent as he remains light on his feet. Seemingly letting his guard down. As they attack, he performs a single powerful step and then focuses all of its energy to quickly sway in any direction to avoid a blow. The step can be controlled to only shift Ja'ro's body while staying in place or to carry him up to 2m away. The swaying dodge is executed in swift succession when scaled.[/list]

So here I added a requirement for solid footing so that there would be unfavorable conditions for this type of movement like standing on slippery wet ice for example,  but opening a pitfall at your feet would also work to seal this ability. Its important that requirements be exploitable by other players and possess clear weaknesses beyond the obvious such as being seen.

I also made the ability less a vague "dodge" and into a specific type of controlled dodge. The step can be scaled to be more like the gif but also into more of a distance making granting it more versatility as a result. The obvious downside is that your need to step becomes a predictable action. But this should apply to everyone else as well and dancing around how to exploit that on each other is supposed to be a big part of the post update combat system here.

The last change I made is mention of what tier this can dodge. One advantage to the changes is that a D-tier ability can dodge an A-tier abilitiy if the conditions are right.




??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 Original
Bouncing Whirlwind
Tier: D
Class: Warrior
Type: Offensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Must be used after dodge, the setting, and the handstand.
Scaling: Adds 1 Tier of Damage
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10
Description:

    Ja'Ro uses his momentum to perform a handstand kick that cuts 1.5m arc in a sweeping motion aimed for the target's head. After completing the kick, Ja'ro lands in a crouched position. This attack deals a single D-tier of damage.

Code:
[center][img]https://data.whicdn.com/images/97307477/original.gif[/img][/center]
[center][b]Bouncing Whirlwind[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] D
[b]Class:[/b] Warrior
[b]Type:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] Must be used after dodge, the setting, and the handstand.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Adds 1 Tier of Damage
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool Down:[/b] 1
[b]Cost:[/b] 10
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]
Ja'Ro uses his momentum to perform a handstand kick that cuts 1.5m arc in a sweeping motion aimed for the target's head. After completing the kick, Ja'ro lands in a crouched position. This attack deals a single D-tier of damage.[/list]

Just needed to separate the requirement actions from the ability description and add the "D" in D-tier damage.




??'?? Fightning Style Lvl 1 AGjJV7h

Eye of the Storm
Tier: D
Class: Warrior
Type: Supplementary
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Can only be used after successfully deflecting an enemy attack
Scaling: Hits
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 1
Cost: 10
Description:

    Ja'Ro capitalizes on an opening created in the opponent's stance and uses their momentum against them to strike at whichever body part he recently deflected. He forms a point with two fingers and his thumb and targets a pressure point, which makes the limb seize up for an instant before feeling numb for a single post.

Code:
[center][b]Eye of the Storm[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] D
[b]Class:[/b] Warrior
[b]Type:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] Can only be used after successfully deflecting an enemy attack
[b]Scaling:[/b] Hits
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool Down:[/b] 1
[b]Cost:[/b] 10
[b]Description:[/b]
[list]
Ja'Ro capitalizes on an opening created in the opponent's stance and uses their momentum against them to strike at whichever body part he recently deflected. He forms a point with two fingers and his thumb and targets a pressure point, which makes the limb seize up for an instant before feeling numb for a single post. [/list]

Made this more clear the deflection isn't part of the ability action and changed the nature of the effect to be a bit more practical. You can't blanket debuff someones movement speed by tapping their fore arm and speeds are nerfed to not really matter much in this system so debuffing it isn't very helpful in the first place.




I know a lot of this stuff might seem simple or obvious to you but for the sake of clarity, wording is important. And for the system to work as it was intended, abilities need to be specific to a degree that might even seem silly at times.


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