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Jahan's warrior set III

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1 Jahan's warrior set III on 01/10/17, 05:52 pm

RUNUPONME!

Tier: D
Class: Warrior
Type: Offensive
Range: Short
Requirements/Drawbacks: Jahan must get into a starting position, placing one foot behind the other. This will only allow Jahan to travel in a single line without turns.
Scaling: Hits | 10
Sustain: 0
Cool Down:1
Cost: 10 | 5 stamina
Description: Jahan places one foot behind the other in a starting position before charging forward a total of 3 meters with elite speeds turning his body into a Fanalis bullet. He deals D tier damage to a target struck by this tackle. This ability may use scaling to increase the amount of targets hit.[/list]

BLACK LION HUNT
Tier: A
Class: Warrior
Type: Offensive
Range: Long
Requirements/Drawbacks: Jahan must get into a starting position, placing one foot behind the other and focus magoi to coat his upper body. He may not preform advanced movements with his upper body while in this ability. This will only allow Jahan to travel in a single line without turns.
Scaling: Hits | 10
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 4
Cost: 40 l 20 magoi
Description: Jahan places one foot behind the other in a starting position, coating his upper body in magoi before charging forward a total of 20 meters in a straight line with elite speeds turning his body into a Fanalis cannon. He deals A tier damage, causing paralysis to body parts hit for 4 posts to a target struck by this tackle. This ability may use scaling to increase the amount of targets hit. It will additionally apply the effects of magoi manipulation.

Lightning | Thunder
Tier: B
Class: Warrior
Type: Offensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Jahan must lift his leg up and be able reach the diaphragm of the target.
Scaling: Hits | 10
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 3
Cost: 30| 15 stamina
Description: Jahan anticipates the moment and spacing of his opponent and attacks with his long legs. The attack has two hits: First, Jahan lifts his leg up to preform a side kick aimed at the targets chest in order to cause breathlessness for 2 posts by applying sudden force which causes their diaphragm to spasm. In a fluid transition after the initial kick, Jahan will execute a 360 degree back kick that deals C tier damage upon impact.

Take.a.Step.Back
Tier: B
Class: Warrior
Type: Offensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: The target must be in a dash or evade that uses their legs. Jahan must step back with his lead foot and rotate around his opponent.
Scaling: Hits
Sustain: 0
Cool Down: 3
Cost: 30 l 15 stamina
Description: Jahan anticipates the movement of his opponent. He will step back with his lead foot changing stances in order to rotate around his opponent and attack their back with a kick dealing B tier damage.



Last edited by Emperor JaJa on 12/01/18, 05:35 pm; edited 9 times in total


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2 Re: Jahan's warrior set III on 27/12/17, 11:14 pm

Bump


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3 Re: Jahan's warrior set III on 29/12/17, 01:18 am

Ensure all numerical range is placed within the description of the ability. In the Range section, it should specify Close, Short, Medium, Long.

The costs on B Tier abilities are 30 | 15 not 30 | 10.

BLACK LION HUNT would not be able to deal A Tier damage AND knockback. However, you could have it deal B Tier damage and increase knockback to 10 to 15 meters.

In Lightning | Thunder, how many kicks are you preforming? If two, you need to specify that they would deal C Tier damage in order to split the damage between the kicks. If more than that, it needs to be split accordingly.

Other than that, these seem rather okay. You might want to add a simple movement requirement in these for yourself if they don't have one for standard purposes. I would recommend switching from damage scaling to hits scaling on the last two abilities since you won't ever need it being a Fanalis.


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4 Re: Jahan's warrior set III on 30/12/17, 07:52 pm

bump


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5 Re: Jahan's warrior set III on 31/12/17, 10:40 pm

For BLACKLIONHUNT, you wouldn't be able to have an A Tier paralysis. It would have to be B Tier minimum. However, since there are no tiers for paralysis, you need to specify how it paralyzes. Keep in mind that this wouldn't provide the same sort of paralysis that magic would. Does it knock the air out of them, cause extreme pain, etc.


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6 Re: Jahan's warrior set III on 11/01/18, 11:16 pm

bump


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7 Re: Jahan's warrior set III on 12/01/18, 05:25 pm

I'm bein' kind and fixing these up for you. I'll list the changes I made below so you can learn from it as best as you can.

Code:
[center][b]RUNUPONME![/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] D
[b]Class:[/b] Warrior
[b]Type:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Short
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] Jahan must get into a starting position, placing one foot behind the other. This will only allow Jahan to travel in a single line without turns.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Hits | 10
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool Down:[/b]1
[b]Cost:[/b] 10 | 5 stamina
[b]Description:[/b] Jahan places one foot behind the other in a starting position before charging forward a total of 3 meters with elite speeds turning his body into a Fanalis bullet. He deals D tier damage to a target struck by this tackle. This ability may use scaling to increase the amount of targets hit.[/list]

[center][b]BLACK LION HUNT[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] A
[b]Class:[/b] Warrior
[b]Type:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Long
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] Jahan must get into a starting position, placing one foot behind the other and focus magoi to coat his upper body. He may not preform advanced movements with his upper body while in this ability. This will only allow Jahan to travel in a single line without turns.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Hits | 10
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool Down:[/b] 4
[b]Cost:[/b] 40 l 20 magoi
[b]Description:[/b] Jahan places one foot behind the other in a starting position, coating his upper body in magoi before charging forward a total of 20 meters in a straight line with elite speeds turning his body into a Fanalis cannon. He deals A tier damage, causing paralysis to body parts hit for 4 posts to a target struck by this tackle. This ability may use scaling to increase the amount of targets hit. It will additionally apply the effects of magoi manipulation.

[center][b]Lightning | Thunder [/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] B
[b]Class:[/b] Warrior
[b]Type:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] Jahan must lift his leg up and be able reach the diaphragm of the target.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Hits | 10
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool Down:[/b] 3
[b]Cost:[/b] 30| 15 stamina
[b]Description:[/b] Jahan anticipates the moment and spacing of his opponent and attacks with his long legs. The attack has two hits: First, Jahan lifts his leg up to preform a side kick aimed at the targets chest in order to cause breathlessness for 2 posts by applying sudden force which causes their diaphragm to spasm. In a fluid transition after the initial kick, Jahan will execute a 360 degree back kick that deals C tier damage upon impact.

[center][b]Take.a.Step.Back[/b][/center]
[b]Tier:[/b] B
[b]Class:[/b] Warrior
[b]Type:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Requirements/Drawbacks:[/b] The target must be in a dash or evade that uses their legs. Jahan must step back with his lead foot and rotate around his opponent.
[b]Scaling:[/b] Hits
[b]Sustain:[/b] 0
[b]Cool Down:[/b] 3
[b]Cost:[/b] 30 l 15 stamina
[b]Description:[/b] Jahan anticipates the movement of his opponent. He will step back with his lead foot changing stances in order to rotate around his opponent and attack their back with a kick dealing B tier damage.

Range

If it was applicable, I've replaced all numerical values with their worded counterparts. All numerical values were placed into the description of the ability. (ex. Close, Short, Medium, Long)

Requirements | Drawbacks

If it was applicable, I've added movement based requirements. I do not recall changing many drawbacks as the requirements are key.

Description

If it was applicable, I've added more specific movements in your descriptions to match with the requirements / drawbacks.

If it was applicable, I've removed the racial trait information added since it wouldn't particularly be needed as it's already a mechanic people should be mindful of. However, I could readd it if you wish, it's rather harmless.

As stated above, if it was applicable, I've added the range for your abilities into the description.

For BLACKLIONHUNT, I've specified that it was a magoi manipulation ability and changed the effect from disorientation to paralysis. The range was buffed as well from 15 to 20 meters seeing that this was an A tier ability.

For Lightning | Thunder, I've added an effect to the first kick and damage to the second kick since that was how it seemed to be worded.

For Take.a.Step.Back, I've specified that you were attacking with a kick.


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8 Re: Jahan's warrior set III on 12/01/18, 05:35 pm

bump


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9 Re: Jahan's warrior set III on 13/01/18, 01:13 am

Approved for training.


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View user profile http://www.porsef.tumblr.com/

10 Re: Jahan's warrior set III on 25/02/18, 10:28 pm


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11 Re: Jahan's warrior set III on 25/02/18, 10:41 pm

have fun boi.


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