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Gremory

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1Gremory  Empty Gremory on 31/08/17, 12:44 am

Gremory  Giphy
I am the King!
Tier: B
Djinn:Gremory
Theme: Strength Power
Type: Supplementary
Range: Long
Requirements/Drawbacks: The user can not move while this ability is cast.Is half as effective on characters with B tier strength. Characters with A tier strength are immune
Scaling: Range
Sustain: -
Cool Down: 3
Cost:  30
Description:

    Jahan produces a wave of overbearingly and terrifying gravity from his body that travels 10 meters in all directions,   producing B tier gravity, and will reduce the speed and natural strength of an affected target by half. In addition to this, targets with B tier or above strength would be able to overpower the gravity and move normally.While first casting the technique Jahan is completely paralyzed and unable to move.



Gremory  Giphy

P O W E R
Tier:B
Djinn: Gremory
Theme: Strength
Type: offensive
Range: Long
Requirements/Drawbacks:The ability does fierce knockback but little damage. Jahan must charge the attack briefly before swinging his blade to unleash it.
Scaling: Damage
Sustain: -
Cool Down: 3
Cost: 30
Description:

    Jahan charges a wave of gravity within his weapon equip.  He releases the wave with the slash of his weapon equip  launching it forward 20ms like a projectile.. The wave of gravity is 5 meters wide, and 5 meters tall. The wave of gravity sends people and objects flying and creates a powerful sense of vertigo inflicting them C tier vertigo damage from vertigo pain. The wave is able to launch large objects and stone structure 5 meters away.





Whistle.of.Abyss
Tier: B
Djinn: Gremory
Theme: Strength
Type: Supplementary
Range: B
Requirements/Drawbacks: This ability has no effect on things that are not in motion.
Scaling:Range
Sustain: -
Cool Down:3
Cost:30
Description:

    Jahan inhales a deep and long breathe, holding it for a moment as he charges his lungs with magoi. He releases the breath as a wave of gravity. This wave is pure strength magic, it appears as distortion to non magicians. However to magicians it would have an aesthetic similar to that of starry black abyss. Objects that make contact with the wave are bounced back in the direction they approached the wave from. The wave moves as a cone which will start from 1m to 5m wide and able to travel up to 10m away from Jahan. The force is able to knock back objects 10 meters



Last edited by Emperor JaJa on 12/09/17, 10:56 am; edited 19 times in total

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2Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 31/08/17, 01:26 am

Gremory  Giphy
All Might
Tier:B
Djinn: Gremory
Theme: Strength(Gravity)
Type: offensive
Range: Close
Requirements/Drawbacks: Jahans Weapon Equip must be in contact with the target
Scaling:Damage
Sustain:-
Cool Down: 3
Cost: 30
Description:

    Jahan's weapon equip makes contact with any target, while it remains in contact gravity increases several times over dealing B tier damage on opponents.



Last edited by Emperor JaJa on 12/09/17, 10:54 am; edited 4 times in total


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3Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 31/08/17, 07:26 pm

I am the King! - I think this could be worded a bit better. Instead of saying that it paralyzes everyone within a 10-meter radius, how about just saying the gravity in that area is much much heavier (So heavy, that it’s practically impossible to move within it). As for the vertigo part, feel free to keep it in as flavor text (Since I’d imagine being in that kind of gravity, vertigo would be inevitable). Also, it would be helpful if you included how this ability would affect you as well. In djinn-equip, you’d be able to fly over it most likely. However, you’re still capable of getting hit by any damage/effects that you use. Based off of realism, obviously.

Power - I’d get rid of the whole “seven seconds” part, we don’t really use seconds anymore. Other than that, this ability is somewhat fine. I feel like a cleaner explanation of the kinds of objects it can lift would be good though. (Like, how heavy and stuff.)

God Hand - The above applies to this as well. Also, this doesn’t affect people, right? Or does it

Heaven's Gate - (Put this in the primary post if you will <3) There isn’t really a way to judge “C-tier immobilization”, so I’d put like...the targets are slowed by half. Or something along those lines. Also, how long does this effect last? Since it’s B-tier, it should only last for 3-posts.


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Traits Points: 0/8
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4Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 31/08/17, 09:44 pm

Changed Everything up, made the fixes. Renamed "Heavens Gate" to "All might"


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5Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 01/09/17, 08:17 pm

General [Requirements/Drawbacks] - Something that you’ll typically want to put in this, is the sort of motion you’ll be doing with your weapon. So like if you’re going to be raising your weapon in the air, stuff like that.

General [Cooldown] - B-Tier abilities only have a 3 post cooldown, not 4.

General [Weight] - I think it would be better to scale what you can lift up by actual strength tiers, instead of pounds (we use the metric system anyways.). So, let’s just say you’re capable of lifting of “large stone structure” or something along those lines instead. There isn’t really a good way to calculate the amount of weight you’re actually gonna be lifting up. A good example of what I mean, is my Imuchakk alt easily weighs over 300-lbs. XD


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6Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 02/09/17, 02:52 pm

bump


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7Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 03/09/17, 07:23 pm

General [Requirements/Drawbacks] - Oh woops, I think you forgot to edit this part. You still need to explain the action you are taking during this ability, like lifting a sword/turning it, some bs like that.

Power [Description] - The part where you describe lifting up objects+structures is worded really weird, while God Hand is much more understandable.

All Might [Description] - So, just to get a better understanding on this ability. You’re going to be doing a normal slash, but the weight(gravity) is going to increase during it to deal the damage?


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8Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 04/09/17, 12:46 pm

I think i fixed everything, I just removed some of the math in power to make it a simple read. Though if theres any required max AoE for B tiers that id need to specify just lemme know.

To clarify "All Might" does not have to begin as a sword swing, it definitely could but the ability works simply by making contact with the blade on any target. So it could be any touch in theory.


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9Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 04/09/17, 08:02 pm

General - Oh yeah, I completely forgot about something you need to include. Please make sure to add how large any projectiles are, and if you don’t know what I mean, try looking at some previously approved abilities. ^^

I am the King! - I was talking to Diana about this, but I think we’re gonna need to split this a bit. What I mean by that, is I think the strength of said gravity should be split with the fact it causes vertigo. So instead of the gravity making it almost impossible to move in, the effect will be reduced to most likely half their original speed. Then, you also need to explain how strong the vertigo actually is. A simple “it causes the user to be unbalanced and dizzy” or something along those lines would work just fine.

Power - I would put a range on the gravitational pull on this ability. Instead of just saying “it sends people and objects flying”, it has to have a range to the pull. So it would be more like “people and objects within 3-meters of this wave will be pushed back flying 5-meters” or something. As for the damage via vertigo, I think that should be fine.

God Hand - I would actually suggest making this ability a bit different, now that I think about it. Instead of just picking up some random objects around you, maybe copy a bit off of what Trently’s arm does. Where you’re able to pick up heavy objects around you, and are able to freely control their projectory (by pointing with your sword?), dealing B-Tier damage via force of the object.

All Might - I’m gonna try talking this one over with Diana, because I’m not too sure what to do with it. I know what you’re trying to do, but I’m confused on how such an ability can work in the systems. Y’know?


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10Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 05/09/17, 11:28 pm

I Am the King - Axed the Vertigo effect for B tier immobilization

P O W E R -

GodhandSubstituted for Dark Mirror Force


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11Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 06/09/17, 04:22 pm

Amaya

Amaya
β-Tier
β-Tier
Hi jaja

I Am the King!:
There's no description of the actual effect of this ability. You vaguely state that it reduces speed, but you don't give an approximation. An ability of this caliber would produce B tier gravity, and would reduce the speed and natural strength of an affected target by half. In addition to this, targets with B tier or above strength would be able to overpower the gravity and move normally. I would recommend that you adjust your drawbacks accordingly. I understand that we're trying to achieve the same thing that Conquerer's Haki does, but unfortunately our magic system won't let you hit everything with it. That said, you'll still utterly destroy the vast majority of foes you face with it.

TLDR:

  • Include "The created field reduces the speed and natural strength of an affected target by half."
  • Add the drawback: "Is half as effective on characters with B tier strength. Characters with A tier strength are immune."
  • Remove one of the existing drawbacks to make the penalties less severe.


P O W E R:
Just specify how the wall/block of force is actually moving please. Is it radiating out from your body, or are you launching it forward the 20m range like a kind of projectile.

Dark Mirror Force:
Is your goal here to bounce things off the cone in the opposite direction they hit it at?
I'm a little unsure from the wording is all.

If it is, I would word the effect as "Objects that make contact with the wave are bounced back in the direction they approached the wave from."

You also need to specify how far it bounces them back.

All Might:
This ability is fine for the most part.
Add in that it stops working when your opponent is no longer making contact with your weapon equip (it's implied, but I'd prefer it explicitly stated.)


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12Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 07/09/17, 10:20 pm

Bump. I think im nearly done, I made the changes? Tell me if I missed something. The only thing I wanted to know was in regards to Dark.Mirror.Force(Whistle of Abyss)?


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13Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 11/09/17, 03:50 pm

Amaya

Amaya
β-Tier
β-Tier
On All Might, change the type to just "Offensive"

Whistle can bounce people back 10m

Once those happen you should be all good to go.


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14Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 12/08/18, 02:41 pm

I want to make some edits to these because these are horribly done


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15Gremory  Empty Re: Gremory on 13/08/18, 09:26 pm

Merrze

Merrze
A-Tier
A-Tier
Bump when edited then


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