Alrighty, lets roll up our sleeves and see what we've got :D.
- Get Lifted:
Original:
Name: Get Lifted'
Tier: C
Cost: 20
Weapon Type:Sword
Class: Supplementary/Offensive
Range: Close
Duration:1 post
Cool-Down: 3 posts
Description: Jahangir unleashes his monstrous Fanalis strength mid swing, usually in a downward sword strike. The Aim of the attack is to be blocked(and consequently send you and/or your weapon flying) rather than to do actual damage; Jahangir's attack is aimed at the tip of the sword where his opponent has the least amount of leverage.
The attack if taken directly deals C rank damage and has the capacity to crush bones. Characters of higher rank and Strength are easily able to block this attack. The speed of this technique is 15 m/s
Choices, choices:
Supplementary/Offensive Choice---v
- Code:
[b]Name:[/b] Get Lifted
[b]Tier:[/b] C
[b]Cost:[/b] 20
[b]Weapon Type:[/b]Sword
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary/Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Duration:[/b] Instant
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 3 posts
[b]Description:[/b] Jahangir unleashes his monstrous Fanalis strength mid swing, usually in a downward sword strike. Once the attack lands, it does so with enough force to send whatever it struck, as well as anyone holding the struck item, flying back 5 meters. If the user stops holding the item, only the item in question will fly back. The attack deals D-Rank damage. The speed of this technique is 15 m/s
Purely Offensive--v
- Code:
[b]Name:[/b] Get Lifted
[b]Tier:[/b] C
[b]Cost:[/b] 20
[b]Weapon Type:[/b]Sword
[b]Class:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Duration:[/b] Instant
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 3 posts
[b]Description:[/b] Jahangir unleashes his monstrous Fanalis strength mid swing, usually in a downward sword strike. Once the attack lands, it does so with enough force to deal C-Rank damage. The speed of this technique is 15 m/s
Purely Supplementary--v
- Code:
[b]Name:[/b] Get Lifted
[b]Tier:[/b] C
[b]Cost:[/b] 20
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Sword
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Duration:[/b] Instant
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 3 posts
[b]Description:[/b] Jahangir unleashes his monstrous Fanalis strength mid swing, usually in a downward sword strike. Once the attack lands, it does so with enough force to send whatever it struck, as well as anyone holding the struck item, flying back 10 meters. If the user stops holding the item, only the item in question will fly back. The speed of this technique is 15 m/s
Above are four different abilities. The first of which is your original, which I changed just a small bit. The 'Range' of an ability for strength users will always either be 'Close', which uses the length of your weapon, or it will have an amount in meters if you are doing something like throwing your sword (not really advised, but I'm not going to stop you LOL). I made an edit in the ability examples to explain this more clearly.
I removed some of the RP-oriented parts of your ability. What the aim you have for using an ability might change depending on the situation. For example, in real life I practice a martial arts called Shuri-Ryu. Like a majority martial arts, there are things called 'kata', also known as 'Forms'. These Kata are open to interpretation. A movement that might be considered a block could very well be considered an attack in another situation. Therefore, I removed the RP description of why you would use an ability, allowing you to make note of that directly in your RP instead (thus allowing you more creativity with the attack).
As per the Ability Classes section of the rules found on this
link, any ability that has 2 classes actually has each function work on a tier lower for effectiveness on an ability. This 'reduction' of effectiveness is due to you splitting up your attention between multiple different effects while using the same energy for your ability. Since it is possible you didn't realize this, I created 3 of what should be passable abilities using your intentions as the base for it; an Offensive/Supplementary ability, an Offensive ability and a Supplementary ability. Feel free to choose any of these, or to make a completely new ability with the knowledge you now have.
Also, keep in mind that for 'duration', it simply means how long throughout does the technique last. Instant means things like sword slashes, while 1 post means things like a flurry of different blows/attacks, or a grapple. Sustain is something that can be either, depending on the situation of what the ability does, and can be used again in a new post at half the cost.
- The Spin:
The Original:
Name:The Spin
Tier: D
Cost:10
Weapon Type:Sword
Class:Supplementary/Defensive
Range:1-3m
Duration:1 post
Cool-Down: 2
Description: Jahangir's infamous parry technique used to fool his opponents by blocking their initial attack and then countering with a viscous slash. First Jahangir must block an incoming attack, at the moment of impact he spins, grabbing his opponents arm or weapon with his free hand and using the spinning momentum to kick them, his Fanalis strength sending his opponents a safe distance away. This technique moves at 10m/s.
Choices~
Supplementary--v
- Code:
[b]Name:[/b]The Spin
[b]Tier:[/b] D
[b]Cost:[/b]10
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Body
[b]Class:[/b]Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Duration:[/b] Instant
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 posts
[b]Description:[/b] Jahangir's technique is used to spin before the moment of impact, performing a spinning back kick at 10m/s which allows him an opportunity to not only dodge an attack, but also to send his opponent flying backwards by 5 meters.
OR Defensive--v
- Code:
[b]Name:[/b]The Spin
[b]Tier:[/b] D
[b]Cost:[/b]10
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Sword
[b]Class:[/b] Defensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Duration:[/b] Instant
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 posts
[b]Description:[/b] Jahangir's parry technique is used to deflect an attack with his sword by deflecting it with a spinning motion at the moment of impact. This defends against an attack that deals up to C-Tier damage at 10 m/s.
Any basic attacks that you make should be done through RP. If it isn't a part of your ability, then you shouldn't add it in there. The reason this is important is because an ability automatically overpowers any non-ability attacks/movements. Therefore, anything covered in an ability must be directly related to the ability itself. How you had it before would make it a offensvie/defensive/supplementary ability, which is we're unable to do. Also, since this is a D-Tier ability, you cannot have 2 classes of ability types in it.
This is why I provided the choices between the supplementary only or the defensive only.
- Dance with me~:
Original:
Name:Dance with me~
Tier: D
Cost:10
Weapon Type:Sword
Class: Offensive
Range: 1m
Duration: Sustain
Cool-Down: 1 post
Description:A gimmick of Jahangir that often throws his opponents off. At any moment in a fight though usually in the middle of exchanging blows, Jahangir has train to perform acrobatic maneuvers. In this case, to break dance. Jahangir changes levels as if performing a sweep and spins on his head or back. This may seem silly, but he can manipulate his blade expertly to keep balance and do damage to unsuspecting foes whom likely haven't trained to foresee this attack. He can Initiate this move and return to a standing position at 10m/s
This is a supplementary ability--v
- Code:
[b]Name:[/b]Dance with me~
[b]Tier:[/b] D
[b]Cost:[/b]10
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Body
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Duration:[/b] Sustain
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 posts or Sustain+1
[b]Description:[/b] Jahangir has trained to be able to perform acrobatic maneuvers while fighting. In this case, to break dance. He retains full manipulation of his blade, and is able to perform abilities and attack even while executing this ability. He can initiate this move and return to a standing position at 10m/s.
I'm pretty sure the edit I made is what you wanted to do with the ability. Just remember that you do not need to put RP stuff in the abilities you post for approval, and you'll be just fine. Changed your cooldown to reflect the correct cooldown. Changed your range to reflect the correct range for the ability as well. Just keep in mind that you cannot breakdance at 10m/s, as that would be considered a magoi manipulation technique. Hitting the ground initially and standing up at 10m/s is perfectly fine, though.
- Deez' Kneez':
Original:
Name: Deez' Kneez'
Tier: D
Cost:10
Weapon Type:Bare-Handed
Class:Supplementary
Range:1m
Duration:1 post
Cool-Down:1post
Description:After Stunning an opponent or throwing them off balance Jahangir initiates this close range grapple. Using his superior Fanalis strength he grabs the back of his opponents head forcing there head down and with extreme might he brings his knee forward planting a fierce blow to their face. This attack moves very quickly at 10m/s dealing D rank Damage
Choices, Choices:
Offensive--v
- Code:
[b]Name:[/b] Deez' Kneez'
[b]Tier:[/b] D
[b]Cost:[/b]10
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Body
[b]Class:[/b] Offensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Duration:[/b] Sustain
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 posts or sustain+1
[b]Description:[/b]
Jahangir initiates this close range grapple using his superior Fanalis strength. He grabs the back of his opponents head, forcing their head down and bringing his knee up simultaneously at 10 m/s, dealing D-Tier damage. This ability may be sustained in a subsequent post to plant another knee in his opponent's face.
OR Supplementary--v
- Code:
[b]Name:[/b] Deez' Kneez'
[b]Tier:[/b] D
[b]Cost:[/b]10
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Body
[b]Class:[/b] Supplementary
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Duration:[/b] Sustain
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 posts or sustain+1
[b]Description:[/b]
Jahangir initiates a close range grapple at 10m/s. Using his superior Fanalis strength he grabs the back of his opponents head forcing there head down and immobilizing their head while this ability is sustained.
The original ability was more of an offensive oriented ability. I threw in something I think you might like, as well, in the edit. You can keep it or have it removed, whichever you prefer (its the sustain thing). Made other edits like I mentioned earlier for other abilities in regards to RP focus being placed in the ability, as well as range information and correct cooldown.
I also made a copy of the ability as a Supplementary ability, which will allow you to set it up so that you can hold an opponent in place and use your basic attack to land a blow on them. Mind you, you holding them in place only counts for their head, so they would still be able to use their techniques to clash with follow up attacks of yours. This should only really truly be relevant in pvp situations (which there isn't a ton of). Otherwise, until A-Tier, you write out how your enemies fight as well, so it's up to you how effective your techniques are.
- Sleight of Hand:
Original:
Name:Sleight of Hand
Tier: D
Cost:10
Weapon Type:Sword/Fist
Class:Strength
Range: 1m
Duration:1 post
Cool-Down: 2 posts
Description:With this technique Jahangir is able to block damage from up to five physical attacks( Punches, Weapon Strikes, Arrows/Throwing Weapons) that are coming towards him at C rank or lower. This move is highly flashy coincidentally as Jahangir uses his superior speed to knock down attacks from his opponent. This technique moves at 10m/s.
Choices, choices~:
With a weapon--v
- Code:
[b]Name:[/b] Sleight of Hand
[b]Tier:[/b] D
[b]Cost:[/b]10
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Sword
[b]Class:[/b] Defensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Duration:[/b] 1 post
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 posts
[b]Description:[/b]
With this technique Jahangir is able to parry damage from up to 5 attacks with his sword at 10m/s, swatting at the incoming attacks and redirecting them away from him. He may continue this against all 5 attacks so long as the added damage from the attacks does not exceed C-Tier damage.
Without a weapon--v
- Code:
[b]Name:[/b] Sleight of Hand
[b]Tier:[/b] D
[b]Cost:[/b]10
[b]Weapon Type:[/b] Body
[b]Class:[/b] Defensive
[b]Range:[/b] Close
[b]Duration:[/b] 1 post
[b]Cool-Down:[/b] 2 posts
[b]Description:[/b]
With this technique Jahangir is able to parry damage from up to 5 attacks with his hands at 10m/s, swatting at the incoming attacks, redirecting them away from him. He may continue this against all 5 attacks so long as the added damage from the attacks does not exceed C-Tier damage.
Just general stuff was changed with this. You don't actually need to post what kind of stuff you block, normally. We run by the clashing rules for that. The only time you should specify when something can block something else is when you intend for it to clash against a tricky magical spell. Such as a poison cloud or something, in which case you can say something like 'I stomp on the ground with my strength, and the wind generated by the ground breaking up and flying into the air disperses up to C-rank damage of air', which would be either an offensive or supplementary skill (you won't get a defensive bonus from that, since it isn't actually a parry or a block).
Ari mentions that if your ability strikes against a weapon, and your ability is bare-handed/body, that this body part takes damage. What she meant by this is that if you lose in a clash, your body part that was used in that ability will take the damage resulting from that clash. As the systems are written right now, a paper fan has the same durability as an Adamantine Meteorite Grand Hammer of Thor that weights 5 tons (exaggeration warning).
Therefore, no weapon has an inherent advantage against another (regardless of whether it's an actual weapon or your body). I would, however, strongly request that when you defend against an attack bare handed (if you choose that route) you write an interesting and logical way for a bare-handed attack to defend against a weapon. Examples of this would be what are called 2nd or 3rd level defenses in the martial arts world, where you aim closer to the base of their body (such as deflecting a sword slash by swiping their arm to the side), or you could get fancy and hit the blunt side of the blade away from you with a defensive technique.
Just something to keep in mind~
